irrational fears — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

irrational fears

I had a m/c before my son at 6w2d.  I have this fear that I will go to the u/s next thursday and there won't be a heartbeat.  I haven't had any problems with this pregnancy so far and beta's have been great.  I think part of it is that I don't have many symptoms.  How do you deal with these fears?
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Re: irrational fears

  • It's hard but try to relax and distract yourself. Worrying wont help. Good luck at your u/s!

    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!

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    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice



  • I understand completely and my heart goes out to you. I don't have any symptoms really either, though before we had our m/c it wasn't until after 6 weeks that I started to have symptoms, and even then it was minimal. I am so worried that since once again I am without symptoms that it will result the same way. I dont "feel" pregnant, sometimes I even forget that I am and it is beyond scary. I had a second beta level drawn today and I have been stalking my medical record for the results to pop up (I work for the hospital so I have access at home). Good luck to you! I wish I had a way to clear the fears away but I think our pgAL brains are just wired to worry regardless.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I have been stalking my medical record for the results to pop up....

    Lol I find that funny. I would stalk it as well.

    There is no easy answer to help dissipate the fears. It really is one day and sometimes one hour at a time. I agree with what hungry hippo said about trying to bond with the baby. Either way I know I would be devastated so I might as well "try" to enjoy. :)

    Pregnancy Ticker

     10 year old boy - April 13th 2003
    MMC Feb 20th - May 20th finished naturally
    BFP on July 25th 2013 LMP June 28th 2013

  • honestly, it was until around 18 weeks when I stopped being terrified. the PP's are right - what they're saying is the healthy thing to do. but I was just a nervous hot mess for weeks. there was no making myself feel better.
    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
    Back to normal business December 2012
    BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13 TEAM GREEN
    It's a girl! Alice - Born 9/20/13, 8lbs 2oz

  • I agree--one day at a time. I do silly things like rub my belly and say "I can't wait to see you but please stay in there and grow healthy and strong until April!" I feel like I need to act as if this is happening, but one step at a time. I can't bring myself to buy maternity clothes yet so I'm buying clothes in bigger sizes.
    Hope you have a wonderful ultrasound!!!
  • What you describe is so normal after loss. As you build positive experiences, you will also build your confidence. It has helped me to remember that no one is promised tomorrow. We have to live In the moment. If something terrible happens, I don't want to look back and see that my pregnancy was full of fear. It is very hard, but try to take it one moment at a time.

  • I think it's important to remind you that these fears are absolutely not irrational. You lost a baby so it's perfectly rational to fear losing this one. It doesn't mean it will happen though and it's actually more likely for this pregnancy to be successful than unsuccessful. We all share the same feelings though, so you're not alone. I find it helps to explore the feelings of fear and anxiety and ask myself why I feel this way. It settles me down if I acknowledge those thoughts rather than ignore them.



    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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