irrational fears

Angie&Junichi · August 2013

I had a m/c before my son at 6w2d. I have this fear that I will go to the u/s next thursday and there won't be a heartbeat. I haven't had any problems with this pregnancy so far and beta's have been great. I think part of it is that I don't have many symptoms. How do you deal with these fears?

hungryhippo · August 2013

One day, one moment, one deep breath at a time. Many of us here have dealt with fear during our pregnancies and its really understandable given all we've endured.

You can try affirmations like "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby." Or "Most pregnancies end in babies."

It also helped to consciously choose to enjoy my pregnancy no matter what. I decided early on that I couldn't lessen the hurt if I were to have another loss, so I tried to dive in, get excited, and let myself connect emotionally with my pregnancy and my baby.

There's no perfect way, but those are things that helped me.

Eta: spelling

BootsOrHearts · August 2013

It's hard but try to relax and distract yourself. Worrying wont help. Good luck at your u/s!

((Hugs))

deren1em · August 2013

I understand completely and my heart goes out to you. I don't have any symptoms really either, though before we had our m/c it wasn't until after 6 weeks that I started to have symptoms, and even then it was minimal. I am so worried that since once again I am without symptoms that it will result the same way. I dont "feel" pregnant, sometimes I even forget that I am and it is beyond scary. I had a second beta level drawn today and I have been stalking my medical record for the results to pop up (I work for the hospital so I have access at home). Good luck to you! I wish I had a way to clear the fears away but I think our pgAL brains are just wired to worry regardless.

Mandyw75 · September 2013

I have been stalking my medical record for the results to pop up....

Lol I find that funny. I would stalk it as well.

There is no easy answer to help dissipate the fears. It really is one day and sometimes one hour at a time. I agree with what hungry hippo said about trying to bond with the baby. Either way I know I would be devastated so I might as well "try" to enjoy.

ravenclaw1 · September 2013

honestly, it was until around 18 weeks when I stopped being terrified. the PP's are right - what they're saying is the healthy thing to do. but I was just a nervous hot mess for weeks. there was no making myself feel better.

MissyNWill · September 2013

I agree--one day at a time. I do silly things like rub my belly and say "I can't wait to see you but please stay in there and grow healthy and strong until April!" I feel like I need to act as if this is happening, but one step at a time. I can't bring myself to buy maternity clothes yet so I'm buying clothes in bigger sizes.
Hope you have a wonderful ultrasound!!!

HopingforChange · September 2013

What you describe is so normal after loss. As you build positive experiences, you will also build your confidence. It has helped me to remember that no one is promised tomorrow. We have to live In the moment. If something terrible happens, I don't want to look back and see that my pregnancy was full of fear. It is very hard, but try to take it one moment at a time.

awc1986 · September 2013

I think it's important to remind you that these fears are absolutely not irrational. You lost a baby so it's perfectly rational to fear losing this one. It doesn't mean it will happen though and it's actually more likely for this pregnancy to be successful than unsuccessful. We all share the same feelings though, so you're not alone. I find it helps to explore the feelings of fear and anxiety and ask myself why I feel this way. It settles me down if I acknowledge those thoughts rather than ignore them.

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