Small Vent

poohniki

Well today I feel like another milestone has been taking from me because we're still trying to have a baby after almost 5 years of trying. DH is a volunteer EMT and last night he responded to a call for a woman in labor. DH helped deliver and he cut his first umbilical cord. When he came in he was so excited and happy. I just wanted to turn over and cry (but the dogs pinned me down so I wasn't moving no matter what). Just one more thing that will no longer be special when we finally have our baby. I already feel like we've lost so much in these 5 years that I only have the small things to hold onto.

LooneyLife

I can understand the disappointment.  But you have to just hold on to the fact that it'll be so much more special for him when it's his own child.  I don't think he'll be all "been there, done that".  

Sorry, IF Sucks!

sorrellam30

I agree, if he was excited for random baby he's going to be over the moon for yours!! IF is a b****, I'm sorry

sunflowermama42212

I'm sorry

loveblacklab

I'm sorry...but I think it will be different for him when it's his own little miracle :-)

amcastord

Listen...I cut the cord for my nephew. It was amazing. It is the coolest thing. That being said, when he cuts the cord separating YOUR baby from YOU, it will be a million times more amazing and cooler. In fact, it will be A-MAZING for him. Don't let IF rob you of this. Last night was his JOB, and though happy to help, I'm sure, that baby means nothing to him. 

And seriously, why couldn't she have just gone to the freaking hospital sooner! Gah!

poohniki

Thanks! I know it will be different, but I also know sometimes DH gets a little arrogant and will say he's a pro at cutting it. He sometimes tries to do my IV's when they have trouble - and I have to remind him he's only practiced on dummies and to shut up.

 The hospital told her it was false labor and sent her home- she gave birth less than 20 minutes later. That's the hospital my ob/gyn works out of- so maybe it would be a good thing that DH is trained to give birth.

twistsandturnsto2

I'm sorry you felt robbed of something that should have been a first for both of you, but I do promise it will be totally different when it's his baby!

And yes, having a little practice doesn't sound like a bad thing with your OBGYN

hmz819

I'm sorry. I would feel the same way. I agree with the others though that it will be way more special when it's his own child.

liz4paws

Hugs...My DH is a volunteer firefighter/emt and he's talked a lot about what it would be like to deliver a baby in the field. I can tell by the way he talks about it how amazing he thinks it would be. He used to talk about it a lot more before we realized our IF, but a part of me has always hurt thinking he may never be involved in a delivery at all.

kc1218

Sorry poohniki. I was an EMT for years. I worked fulltime and ran a variety of calls. Iv even delivered a couple of babies during training at the hospital. While the miracle of life never gets old, I am sure that your child will not even compare to his "cutting the cord". I hope your day gets better. Hugs.

Peanutz21

I'm sorry ... Some days are more rough than others. I do agree with PP. I'm pretty sure your DH will be over the moon cutting your cord. It's much more meaningful.

firesiren

As a medic, that has delivered babies and instructed EMT's how, I can tell you a baby delivery is the highlight of an EMT's career.  Congrats to him!  Most guy EMT's at my department are terrified of OB calls.  Tell DH congrats on joining the stork club (my state even sends you a pin for a field delivery.  

  BIG ((HUGS)) to you.  I hate OB calls right now.  I find myself judging people.  That's not the person I am.  It's hard not to be down right jealous. Don't be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do.  

Just think, when it's your turn DH will be a pro.  My poor DH gets lightheaded if I someone talks about blood.

poohniki

firesiren said:

As a medic, that has delivered babies and instructed EMT's how, I can tell you a baby delivery is the highlight of an EMT's career.  Congrats to him!  Most guy EMT's at my department are terrified of OB calls.  Tell DH congrats on joining the stork club (my state even sends you a pin for a field delivery.  

  BIG ((HUGS)) to you.  I hate OB calls right now.  I find myself judging people.  That's not the person I am.  It's hard not to be down right jealous. Don't be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do.  

Just think, when it's your turn DH will be a pro.  My poor DH gets lightheaded if I someone talks about blood.

Thanks for sharing in his excitement. I think it was too much after having a rough day. I just went back to grad school and there was a new girl in our cohort because she took a year off to have a baby so she joined our group. She is the only one who doesn't know my struggles and she sat right next to me and mentioned her baby like 12 times and then just coming home and hearing that... I think I was just in a foul mood. I guess I'm judging people too. I seem to be ok with some pregnancies and not others. Big hugs to you too ((hugs))- I know some days are just harder than others.

poohniki

liz4paws said:

Hugs...My DH is a volunteer firefighter/emt and he's talked a lot about what it would be like to deliver a baby in the field. I can tell by the way he talks about it how amazing he thinks it would be. He used to talk about it a lot more before we realized our IF, but a part of me has always hurt thinking he may never be involved in a delivery at all.

You have 4 great embies waiting for you! It will happen. Everything has been rolling along for you these past few weeks, it just has to continue. I know sometimes I don't know what's worse, my dream not coming true, or not being able to make dh's dream come true. Shared dreams can mean double the heartache. Hopefully one miracle can change everything. (hugs)

Margritli

I am sorry. I think I would be upset, too, if I was in your situation, but I have to agree with everyone else, that it is going to mean so much more when it is your baby. 

My DH is not so keen on blood and gore and once even said that he has heard of men being so grossed out by seen their wives go through labor that they never want to have sex with them again, and that he feared that happening to him. I responded by cordial univited him to his own child's birth, if he thought that there was a risk of that. I think, though, now that we are going through IF that he is going to be so overjoyed about the birth, if we ever get that far, that he will get over it.