Husband problems

Jodygin

Hi Everyone, I'm 14 weeks pregnant -used anonymous egg donor because I tried for so many years with my own eggs and just couldn't get pregnant. I'm super happy and have finally accepted that this was the only way I would be able to be a mom. My husband on the other hand still hasn't accepted it and we argue often about it. Does anyone go through this with their husband? I hate that he is not supportive. I felt alone at the beginning of all of this and still feel alone now. Any suggestions?

liz4paws

Hi, I am so sorry you're dealing with this. The unknowns of TPR can be very difficult on a marriage. I highly recommend talking to a counselor who deals with donor issues. Your husband probably has fears he has not vocalized yet, and a counselor may help draw them out for a healthy discussion. 

And while this is not directly TPR or infertility related, my husband and I just read a fantastic book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I cannot sing enough praises for it, it has made our marriage so much stronger and happier. In fact, I wrote a blog post about it this morning at www.wishingonasnowflake.com. I wish you loads of luck. Infertility is so hard on a marriage, and I know we've all been in a dark place because of it. Hugs to you!

LittleLady77

Liz is wise. You may want to consider a counselor before your kido gets here so you can both be on the same page.

stinkerbell6879

LittleLady77 said:

Liz is wise. You may want to consider a counselor before your kido gets here so you can both be on the same page.

Ditto. Also (((HUGS))) this stuff is never easy.

Jodygin

Thanks everyone! Unfortunately my husband doesn't want to see a counselor.

singingirl96

Hi.  We were in a similar situation when we used donor sperm for my son (now 14 months old). My husband went along for the ride, and entertained the idea, but was never really 100% happy about it. When we finally decided to go ahead and do ivf, he was still skeptical, and not 100% on board... but we proceeded.  When our son got here, things instantly clicked and although the subject still came up, babies have a way of making it all better.  We were a family and all of that went out the window.  There is still a loss that comes from the fact that the child is not a biological product of your love, but what you gain from it is so much more.  My husband could not love our son any more.  Biology has nothing to do with it. 
I wish you all the best, and congrats!

Jodygin

Thanks so much! I hope my husband connects with the baby the way yours did!