Throat Punch Time!

DCWJes

Go!

KMW08

Nothing here today, but I found this gem and had to share it!

AnyMax

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her?
I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck.
(Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

LaRomana09

AnyMax said:

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her? I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck. (Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

For just a day???  WTF???  Clearly she means well, but she's really not saying the right things at all.  Sorry you have to deal with that.  I'm not even sure how you should respond.  (((HUGS)))

Poppy715

AnyMax said:

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her? I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck. (Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

Ohhh where to begin. Is this for real? I'm sorry @AnyMax. I would tell her:

I appreciate your concern. Unfortunately, being young does not help me while grieving the loss of my baby. There is also no appropriate time limit to grieving the loss of a child. I actually find it quite offensive for you to suggest I "take a day". You would never say that is your child or family member was lost. Relaxing will also not help me to get pregnant again. While your friend's experiences are wonderful she still struggled for 10 years. Her experiences do not have anything to do with mine. *You have no idea what God's plan for me is. It could be a number of different things. None of us have any idea what the future holds for me and DH. Please do not try and put my situation into a box and tell me how to grieve and continue on. Until you experience a loss like this you have no idea the pain that it creates or the hole which remains in my heart.

*this is tricky to respond to regarding what you believe.

 

I can't believe she said these things to you. This is a tame reply of course!

AnyMax

Thank you

@Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

Poppy715

AnyMax said:

Thank you @Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

I think it's really really important that you respond. I'd also link an article similar to this one about what not to say in these situations. Unsolicited advice, that comes with the best intentions, is still hurtful.

https://www.griefspeaks.com/id9.html

 

rmpar29

TP AF for showing up 6 days late and making me think that there was another reason for her absence!  

chknma

LaRomana09 said:

AnyMax said:

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her?
I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck.
(Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

For just a day???  WTF???  Clearly she means well, but she's really not saying the right things
at all.  Sorry you have to deal with that.  I'm not even sure how you should respond.  (((HUGS)))

So sorry about this. Although I'm sure she has good intentions, some of the things she said are very hurtful. Hugs to you. If she's someone that you see/are in contact with very offer I would find a polite way to tell her that you appreciate her support, however this is a difficult time for you to hear things like this.

princezjk

@Anymax - I am so sorry you have to deal with that ((((HUGS))))!  Sending her a major TP!  It is bad enough to send you a message like that, but to post on Facebook, for all to see is just beyond comprehension.  I think @Poppy715 gave a great response.  I  hope you can get through to her and make her realize how wildly inappropriate her comment was.  

AnyMax

@rmpar29 (((hugs))) sorry about AF

Kinipela7

AnyMax said:

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her? I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck. (Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

OMG - I'm sorry!  This would have sent me through the roof if someone said any of this to me. This sort of reminds me of something that my mom would say, which makes me super happy that I didn't even tell her anything!  Let us know how this turns out!  Sorry!

AnyMax

mattsgirl2004 said:

I'd like to TP my cervix.  I'm still spotting which means no sex for DH and I until the spotting stops.  This sucks big time because DH has had the last 2 days off and I'm super horny.  Baha!

rmpar29

AnyMax said:

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her? I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck. (Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

I would respond back that I'm very happy for her friend, but until she goes through the loss of a baby she has no right to tell me how I should be dealing with it or for how long.  I was thank her for her message but ask her not to write again since she has no idea what I'm going through and I really don't need to hear about how it will happen when the time is right.  Of course, I'm pissy today, so I might respond differently on another day.  

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this!  ((HUGS))

LaRomana09

AnyMax said:

Thank you Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

She put that crap on Facebook???  

ksyknelvr73

@AnyMax, I am so sorry about that. I have to vent a little - and in relation to what you posted (and what I have been experiencing from "well meaning" people as well):

Since when did it become ROCKET SCIENCE to figure out what to say to a person who has had a miscarriage/pregnancy loss? This is NOT HARD, people. Just say something like "I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know you must be hurting so much right now and I wish I could take that pain away. I will be thinking of you and praying with all my heart that you are able to have a healthy pregnancy. I love you and I am here for you.". Wouldn't that be nice??

Poppy715

LaRomana09 said:

AnyMax said:

Thank you Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

She put that crap on Facebook???  

I'm thinking it was probably a private message.

AnyMax

Poppy715 said:

LaRomana09 said:

AnyMax said:

Thank you Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

She put that crap on Facebook???  

I'm thinking it was probably a private message.


I'm sorry, I had to step away. No, it is posted on my wall.
I am going to reply with something very similar to what you said, Poppy, and include the link.

Amores0121

AnyMax said:

LaRomana09 said:

AnyMax said:

Thank you Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

She put that crap on Facebook???  

I'm thinking it was probably a private message.

I'm sorry, I had to step away. No, it is posted on my wall. I am going to reply with something very similar to what you said, Poppy, and include the link.

WHAT? This is posted on your wall?? My first response to your original post was WTF? A day to grieve? I think Poppy's response was very nice but now that you are saying it is posted on your wall, I would not be so nice. I would definitely call her out for putting your business for all to see.  That is so disrespectful it's not even funny.  At that point, I don't think I would have any nice words for her.  I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))

Poppy715

AnyMax said:

LaRomana09 said:

AnyMax said:

Thank you Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

She put that crap on Facebook???  

I'm thinking it was probably a private message.

I'm sorry, I had to step away. No, it is posted on my wall. I am going to reply with something very similar to what you said, Poppy, and include the link.

SHUT UP! NO WAY. I would start with how inappropriate this is to post on someone's public wall! I would find one that is a baby loss/m/c link so she doesn't say well that's for other circumstances. Just to be sure. Wow I am so pissed for you!.

Poppy715

@AnyMax she deserves so much more than a TP she deserves the Twatwaffeldouchecanoecuntpunch award! I am appalled!

gingerkid9989

I'm with everyone else @anymax.  That was horrible for her to do.  I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  TP to her and big ((HUGS)) to you.

>:D<

LaRomana09

AnyMax said:

LaRomana09 said:

AnyMax said:

Thank you Poppy715 Yea, she left that right on my Facebook overnight. I will reply to her in private, of course, but I am letting far too much emotion get in the way of saying what I need to.

She put that crap on Facebook???  

I'm thinking it was probably a private message.

I'm sorry, I had to step away. No, it is posted on my wall. I am going to reply with something very similar to what you said, Poppy, and include the link.

I can't even believe she posted that on your wall.  I got that sense when you said you would respond privately, but I'm still shocked.  I think Poppy's response is perfect, and I might even respond right on your wall so other people know that is not okay.  So many (((HUGS))).

rmpar29

@anymax OMFG!!!!  I cannot believe anyone would be so insensitive to post this crap publicly!  I can't even think of any response that is appropriate to be posted here because it includes a lot of variations of the f word!  

((HUGS)) to you!!!  

MsAmandaPants

LaRomana09 said:

AnyMax said:

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her? I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck. (Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

For just a day???  WTF???  Clearly she means well, but she's really not saying the right things at all.  Sorry you have to deal with that.  I'm not even sure how you should respond.  (((HUGS)))

I can't reply because my vision just went red. dsfsa98yu98oijf

SandSunBliss

AnyMax said:

This is a message from DH's aunt. In addition to a big TP, can I please get some advice on how to respond her? I keep telling myself she has good intentions, but fuck. (Sorry, I have to screen shot. Can't get the text to copy on mobile for some reason.)

@Anymax. Oh FFS, she just says every single wrong thing... She clearly is trying to comfort you, but holy hell, I am so sorry. (Hugs)

AnyMax

I'm really sorry for hijacking the TP thread. But thank you all for the support. DH will be handling it with me tomorrow. Thank you again

BluEyedGirl26

@AnyMax, I am SO sorry that she did that to you. It would be bad enough if she sent it privately but posting it on fb for all to see is just awful. I hope you are direct enough so she backs off! (((Hugs)))