Grumpy Gus(ette?) needs to vent and this is the only place I got!

Hegi627

So please, no hater postings, this is really just something I want to grumble about. My therapist says talking about it should help but I always feel like a whiny b*tch when I talk to friends about it and my mom just says I sound jealous and bitter. And she's right, but that doesn't mean I don't get the right to complain sometimes! To my own mother! I have 3 adorable nieces and a nephew. I love them with all of my heart, but their moms are driving me up a wall. My 3 sisters all had unplanned pregnancies. Nothing wrong with that, it happens. But now that hubs and I are TTC, I get texts/calls from one of them every. single. day. asking me why I'm not pregnant yet. Cute little texts. The one I got this morning accompanied a picture of my niece E. It said "E can't wait for a new cousin! Any news yet?" I've told them repeatedly that, believe it or not, its not always easy getting pregnant. And that when it happens they will be among the first to know. I'm happy that they are so happy for hubs and I that they are eager for news, but they can't seem to grasp the concept that not everyone can get pregnant by forgetting to use a condom (once) or being a little spotty with the BC pills. For some of us its hard, and each month that we get a period is devastating. They know this too, I just don't know the words to tell them that I love them and their excitement for us, but please stop asking. Well I can't find the words that will work, because I've used those specific words already, and they don't work. Sorry. Rant over.

LilacStar11

That does sound really frustrating but just know that they are just excited for you.  I am sure that is hard to see though, especially when you just want to be pg so badly. 

biomaj5

I would tell them that you've put TTC plans on hold for now so that they stop asking. It's only going to get more and more frustrating and you'll end up going crazy. Make up some reason and be vague on an end date (like for example don't say we're waiting until after our Feb 2014 vacay to start trying, because if you're not KU by Feb, it'll all start over).

Hegi627

biomaj5 said:

I would tell them that you've put TTC plans on hold for now so that they stop asking. It's only going to get more and more frustrating and you'll end up going crazy. Make up some reason and be vague on an end date (like for example don't say we're waiting until after our Feb 2014 vacay to start trying, because if you're not KU by Feb, it'll all start over).

That is genius. we are planning a move back home around the first of the year, so I can just say we are putting things on hold until sometime after the move. Thank you!

biomaj5

Nicb13 said:

@biomaj5 did give good advice, I'd go with that. It took us a long time to get pregnant so I know the feeling and it's hard when people are constantly bringing it up. Hang in there and tell them to back off! Nicely of course....

Sadly I've got too much experience with this. When we first started TTC, I would tell people. Then a year passed, and it got so much worse. 5 years later, people usually don't ask, but I have told some friends about IF. Now my trainer likes to tell me horror stories about her kids (so I won't feel bad about not having any I guess?), and another new mom likes to say "and some day you'll do blah blah blah too." I want to tell them both to cut it out, but I bite my tongue.

There's always the "the status of my ute is none of your effing business" approach, but use that one with caution lol.

Hegi627

haha I wouldn't want to use that on family, but I have used it on strangers before. Just this morning, actually!

jjtyler

People can be a-holes.  I get TOLD every day that I absolutely HAVE to give my daughter a sibling and she absolutely cannot be an only child.  My DD is 8 and I have had health (hip issues) and other issues that I don't broadcast and this may be it for me.  I learned that vague bluntness is what works.  Sorry that this is tough...many hugs.

MMason12

This is the exact reason we refuse to tell anyone (minus two of our closest friends) that we are trying. We already get asked daily by our family and friends "when are you going to start having kids".

Frankly, it is no ones damn business but I cannot believe how many people ask us. I always answer back, "probably never if people keep asking us".

I know we would get the same exact messages you are if people knew we were trying. If I were you, I would just text back something along the line of, "I know you are excited for us to have a baby but I don't appreciate hearing about your excitement so often. Can it tone it back a bit please."

bugandbibs

This is why I always recommend people keep ttc a secret. I'm sorry you are dealing with this, it's sounds incredibly frustrating.