LO hates me.

MrsThirdBird

He is 14 months old.
His new favorite activity is hitting me in the face, but no one else.
He responds to other people saying his name and talking to him, but not so much me.

Why does he hate me, and is there anything I can do about it?

Thanks for the help. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but sometimes its hard.

FemShep

Your LO doesn't hate you. He loves and trusts you more than anyone in the world. Young children often act out more with their most trusted and loved caregiver than anyone else; he thinks that no matter what, you'll love him, so he can push boundaries with you in a way that he can't do with anyone else. That doesn't mean you shouldn't correct him when he hits you, but please don't take it to be a sign that he doesn't love you.

MrsThirdBird

Any idea what the best way to discipline him to get him to stop?  I've been trying No firmly and gentle while slowly showing him a gentle motion on my face but it's like a game to him.  He will go away then run back and hit me again. I'm at a loss for how to stop him.

I've been back at work for a long time, but I still feel guilty leaving him and often feel like he is still mad at me for leaving him. I know it sounds stupid, but that's how I feel.

aurora1974

I've had the same thing happen with DD.  It started a little before she turned a year.  She's now 18 months old and it happens rarely now.  I was doing the same thing as you are doing and it seemed like a game to her as well.  Every time I would tell her "nice hands" and nicely touch my face with her hand she'd laugh.  For a little while she would just hit me again so that I would do that.  Once that started, I just started putting her down or walking away from her when she hit me.  She'd throw a fit and follow me.  When she caught up with me I would tell her "no, I'm not picking you up if you're just going to hit me".  I'd let her cry for a minute and then pick her up.  If she hit me again she got put down again.  If she didn't then we would sit and read a book or play with toys.  It took a while, but she seems to have figured out that it's not ok.  Now it's not a game anymore and if she hits me now it's really because she's mad or frustrated about something.

Good luck.  I know how frustrating it can be and how it does make you feel like they hate you.  But truth is it has nothing to do with that.  They are learning cause and effect and testing limits.  You are the safest person to do that with so unfortunately you get the worst of the "experiments".

Also, I work full time out of the home as well and it has nothing to do with that.  Trust me.  

Mrs MoJoRisin

He doesn't hate you! I would address the situation, leave the area he is in, and ignore him after. He will learn that you are not going to play with him if he continues to be fresh.

singingirl96

aurora1974 said:

 Now it's not a game anymore and if she hits me now it's really because she's mad or frustrated about something.

and you think this is ok?

PetuniaFeatherbottom

He doesn't hate you. He is learning his strength and abilities, and he sees that you react. He doesn't know or comprehend that he is hurting you. Like my kid who bit and scratched all the time, she was finding her body and didn't know how to react to events. I would remind her that it hurts mommy, and say things like, be soft, be nice. Don't bite, hit or scratch them back, they will think its ok. Stay strong.