Would you let your daughter wear her princess dress all the time?

pandaglitter

If my five year old is at home, she's usually wearing her princess dress. (Rapunzel). She's obsessed with princesses, and we've had many talks about how they're just make believe and it's fun to dress up, but there are more important things than being pretty and dressing like a princess and talk about how she's very smart and creative and caring and how those things are most important.

But she's still obsessed with princesses and Sophia the First and wearing this damn dress. Is there a point where you would worry? What bothers me the most is how much she asks if she's beautiful and stuff. I know its not a huge deal because she is still a very avid reader and I don't think she's missing out on doing things because of her princess obsession, but I want to bang my head on the wall whenever she's forced to change and says something like, "But *insert princess name* doesn't wear that!! That's not beautiful!"

EDIT: She does want to be things other than a princess when she grows up, but she's really upset that princess isn't a real career choice and she doesn't believe they don't really exist and that she can't be one.

[Deleted User]

It's a phase.  I wouldn't worry too much about it.

RondackHiker

Could you tell her she can be a princess and something else? Princess Firefighter?

I wouldn't worry too much. Keep reinforcing she's capable and point out other things she does well.

RondackHiker

Also, does she have other dress up options?

Mrs.adambabycakes

RondackHiker said:

Could you tell her she can be a princess and something else? Princess Firefighter?

I wouldn't worry too much. Keep reinforcing she's capable and point out other things she does well.

This. Also tell her that Repunzel is also a very talented artist and she reads books all the time! I'm not too familiar with Sophia though.

insertclevername

She will eventually realize that there is more to the world then princesses.  I would just continue to reinforce that there are traits other than beauty that are important and that there are more options for her than just being a princess.  Casually point out positive female role models whenever you have the opportunity.   

ifwisheswerefishes

Am I the only person that doesn't think this would bother me even a little? I personally think that Disney Princesses are awesome (Tiana has her own restaurant, Rapunzel paints and reads, Merida fights and learns how to have a better relationship with her parents, Belle also is a big reader and dreams of adventures, etc.) 

Every little girl goes through a princess phase (or at least, most do), and it's nothing I would be bothered over. Maybe that's just me though. 

insertclevername

ifwisheswerefishes said:

Am I the only person that doesn't think this would bother me even a little? I personally think that Disney Princesses are awesome (Tiana has her own restaurant, Rapunzel paints and reads, Merida fights and learns how to have a better relationship with her parents, Belle also is a big reader and dreams of adventures, etc.) 

Every little girl goes through a princess phase (or at least, most do), and it's nothing I would be bothered over. Maybe that's just me though. 

I wouldn't be bothered by it, but I do think it is important to continue encouraging other interests and emphasizing traits other than beauty.

mysticl

pandaglitter said:

If my five year old is at home, she's usually wearing her princess dress. (Rapunzel). She's obsessed with princesses, and we've had many talks about how they're just make believe and it's fun to dress up, but there are more important things than being pretty and dressing like a princess and talk about how she's very smart and creative and caring and how those things are most important. But she's still obsessed with princesses and Sophia the First and wearing this damn dress. Is there a point where you would worry? What bothers me the most is how much she asks if she's beautiful and stuff. I know its not a huge deal because she is still a very avid reader and I don't think she's missing out on doing things because of her princess obsession, but I want to bang my head on the wall whenever she's forced to change and says something like, "But *insert princess name* doesn't wear that!! That's not beautiful!" EDIT: She does want to be things other than a princess when she grows up, but she's really upset that princess isn't a real career choice and she doesn't believe they don't really exist and that she can't be one.

Except they do exist.  Rapunzel and Sophia may be fictional but there are real princesses in the world and it is their job to be a princess.  At her age I watched Charles and Diana marry so if someone told me that princesses don't exist I would have known they were a liar.  She's five, neither you or she should be worried about what she wants to be when she grows up.  It's perfectly normal for a kid to want to wear the same thing all the time.  She'll outgrow the dress and the obsession.  

[Deleted User]

ifwisheswerefishes said:

Am I the only person that doesn't think this would bother me even a little? I personally think that Disney Princesses are awesome (Tiana has her own restaurant, Rapunzel paints and reads, Merida fights and learns how to have a better relationship with her parents, Belle also is a big reader and dreams of adventures, etc.) 

Every little girl goes through a princess phase (or at least, most do), and it's nothing I would be bothered over. Maybe that's just me though. 

I think it's much more important how a girl's mom projects her sense of self worth and how her parents model gender roles.  You can buy your kid all the gender-neutral toys in the world, but if you're pointing out your body flaws in front of her, THAT's what she's learning.

I LOVED Barbie.  Loved.  Loved Disney princess movies.  And went through a phase where I couldn't stand pants and refused to wear them.  I'm a feminist because my mom (and to a lesser extent, my dad) is a feminist, and that's how I was raised.

pandaglitter

mysticl said:

pandaglitter said:

If my five year old is at home, she's usually wearing her princess dress. (Rapunzel). She's obsessed with princesses, and we've had many talks about how they're just make believe and it's fun to dress up, but there are more important things than being pretty and dressing like a princess and talk about how she's very smart and creative and caring and how those things are most important.

But she's still obsessed with princesses and Sophia the First and wearing this damn dress. Is there a point where you would worry? What bothers me the most is how much she asks if she's beautiful and stuff. I know its not a huge deal because she is still a very avid reader and I don't think she's missing out on doing things because of her princess obsession, but I want to bang my head on the wall whenever she's forced to change and says something like, "But *insert princess name* doesn't wear that!! That's not beautiful!"

EDIT: She does want to be things other than a princess when she grows up, but she's really upset that princess isn't a real career choice and she doesn't believe they don't really exist and that she can't be one.

Except they do exist.  Rapunzel and Sophia may be fictional but there are real princesses in the world and it is their job to be a princess.  At her age I watched Charles and Diana marry so if someone told me that princesses don't exist I would have known they were a liar.  She's five, neither you or she should be worried about what she wants to be when she grows up.  It's perfectly normal for a kid to want to wear the same thing all the time.  She'll outgrow the dress and the obsession.  

Disney princesses don't exist. I've shown her pictures of Kate Middleton and the Queen and everything, so she understands what real princesses are, but obviously doesn't care because its not all princes rescuing you and dressing pretty. No, I'm not worried about what career she is going to choose, but I'm not going to encourage her belief that being a princess is a career choice. It's not like I tell her she can't dress up, I just encourage her to also try to focus on things besides dressing up.

pandaglitter

Obviously, I should probably get her to watch Star Wars more.

[Deleted User]

Leia is a princess too!

pandaglitter

overture said:

Leia is a princess too!

That I wouldn't mind, as she kicks ass and isn't focused on being pretty all the time.

Disneygeek77

:: shrugs ::

I wouldn't worry too much about it.  Sounds like a phase.  DD will want to be a princess for a while, then she decides she wants to be a pirate, then a monster, then a mommy, then a chef.  Sometimes they are stuck in the princess phase for a while, but I would just continue to do what you are doing  build her character and bring in other interests. 

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ifwisheswerefishes

pandaglitter said:

Leia is a princess too!

That I wouldn't mind, as she kicks ass and isn't focused on being pretty all the time.

This baffles me though!

Merida HATES dresses. Belle is happier in a library than putting on makeup. Tiana turns into a FROG. Jasmine is the daughter of a sheikh who would rather marry a street rat than an arrogant prince. I'm missing how any of them are floating around going, "oooh, I wanna be pretty." 

This argument confuses me. 

pandaglitter

Disneygeek77 said:

:: shrugs ::

I wouldn't worry too much about it.  Sounds like a phase.  DD will want to be a princess for a while, then she decides she wants to be a pirate, then a monster, then a mommy, then a chef.  Sometimes they are stuck in the princess phase for a while, but I would just continue to do what you are doing  build her character and bring in other interests. 

Yea it's just been going on for a few months and is like an all day obsession. Otherwise I'd be like whatever...I'm starting to wonder how long its gonna be until she moves on. The worst was when she saw a commercial for toddlers in tiaras. I quickly pointed out how the cute little girls looked so much older and how that was sad because they're so pretty just how they are. But she was so jealous.

pandaglitter

ifwisheswerefishes said:

pandaglitter said:

overture said:

Leia is a princess too!

That I wouldn't mind, as she kicks ass and isn't focused on being pretty all the time.

This baffles me though!

Merida HATES dresses. Belle is happier in a library than putting on makeup. Tiana turns into a FROG. Jasmine is the daughter of a sheikh who would rather marry a street rat than an arrogant prince. I'm missing how any of them are floating around going, "oooh, I wanna be pretty." 

This argument confuses me. 

Because my daughter is five. She doesn't focus on the positive qualities...she focuses on how pretty they are and their fancy dresses and how she wants to dress up and be beautiful just like them. I try to encourage the other things, but she focuses on the things she likes in the movies...which is the being pretty part. That's all that worries me is that this obsession with being beautiful will carry over into her teenage and adult years even with my encouragement of more important things.

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pandaglitter

My issue isn't that she likes to dress like a princess, its that she doesn't think she's beautiful unless she's dressed like a princess. And the fact that she's worried about being beautiful, despite my constant attempts to reinforce her positive, non physical qualities.

littlestjerry

I think as long as you focus on all her positive attributes beyond looks, she'll be fine. I also think it's ok for a little girl to feel pretty. Or a little boy for that matter.

mysticl

pandaglitter said:

pandaglitter said:

If my five year old is at home, she's usually wearing her princess dress. (Rapunzel). She's obsessed with princesses, and we've had many talks about how they're just make believe and it's fun to dress up, but there are more important things than being pretty and dressing like a princess and talk about how she's very smart and creative and caring and how those things are most important. But she's still obsessed with princesses and Sophia the First and wearing this damn dress. Is there a point where you would worry? What bothers me the most is how much she asks if she's beautiful and stuff. I know its not a huge deal because she is still a very avid reader and I don't think she's missing out on doing things because of her princess obsession, but I want to bang my head on the wall whenever she's forced to change and says something like, "But *insert princess name* doesn't wear that!! That's not beautiful!" EDIT: She does want to be things other than a princess when she grows up, but she's really upset that princess isn't a real career choice and she doesn't believe they don't really exist and that she can't be one.

Except they do exist.  Rapunzel and Sophia may be fictional but there are real princesses in the world and it is their job to be a princess.  At her age I watched Charles and Diana marry so if someone told me that princesses don't exist I would have known they were a liar.  She's five, neither you or she should be worried about what she wants to be when she grows up.  It's perfectly normal for a kid to want to wear the same thing all the time.  She'll outgrow the dress and the obsession.  

Disney princesses don't exist. I've shown her pictures of Kate Middleton and the Queen and everything, so she understands what real princesses are, but obviously doesn't care because its not all princes rescuing you and dressing pretty. No, I'm not worried about what career she is going to choose, but I'm not going to encourage her belief that being a princess is a career choice. It's not like I tell her she can't dress up, I just encourage her to also try to focus on things besides dressing up.

Your post did make it sound like you are worried about what she wants to be when she grows up.  Otherwise why did you bring it up?  Lots of little girls want to grow up to be princesses, it is a phase.  It may take a few weeks or a few months but she will outgrow it.  Just expose her to lots of things but don't be negative about the princess stuff that could make her cling to it harder.

And she could get a job as a Disney Princess someday.   I used to know Goofy.

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SoDoMojo

I have a son so I don't have to worry about all this princess crap BUT... DS insists on wearing sports jerseys all the time. Specifically his soccer jersey. I just let him wear it. It makes him happy. He'll ask if he's a good soccer player, did I see that goal, he's fast and strong, right?

I think as long as you make it known that she's beautiful even without the dresses she'll be fine.

thatoneredhead

pandaglitter said:

My issue isn't that she likes to dress like a princess, its that she doesn't think she's beautiful unless she's dressed like a princess. And the fact that she's worried about being beautiful, despite my constant attempts to reinforce her positive, non physical qualities.

My family has always allowed princess dresses, shoes, dance outfits, and pretty much anything else to be worn anywhere. My cousin spent 2.5-4 in literally nothing but dresses. At first my thought was, I wouldnt let her wear all the time if that was the only thing my kid felt pretty in. But then I really thought about it. Odds are that every day, she will wear something to feel pretty. She will probably wear a bra, makeup, hairspray, cute shoes... just like the most of us like to.

As with any thing else, kids are usually fascinated with a new discovery. I think all little girls discover "pretty" sooner or later, and as long as you keep guiding her in what is truly beautiful, she will be fine. All of her other interests will grow up along with her, and this will too.

klondikebar

This phase wouldn't bother me. I'd let her wear the dress, have fun and not a make a big deal about it. DD was obsessed with Darth Vader. She had a period when she wore the outfit complete with the talking helmet all of the time.

LaurelBee

Get her to watch Mulan I really wouldn't worry about it. I went through a phase where I thought I was Cindy Laupper and refused to listen unless my mom called me Cindy. Maybe when she asks if she's beautiful, answer her by saying "you are smart, kind, sweet, caring, funny. All these things make you SO beautiful!"

nancy30005

 I was obsessed (I'm about to date myself) with the movie Grease when I was exactly five years old. 
I wanted ALL THINGS Sandy. The ponytail, the clothes, the accent, the jacket. I listened to the soundtrack (on my record player - hehe) non-stop. I wanted to be her and I was heartbroken that I couldn't.

My mother lost her shiit with me finally and was like "SANDY ISN'T REAL. STOP TRYING TO BE HER". 

I didn't grow up to be Sandy. I'm actually a tomboy with an affection for football and beer. 

She'll be fine. I know it's in your face all.the.time. And it makes you crazy - but just a phase. I promise. 

And if she grows up to be a princess...well, I owe you one. 

CindyRelluh

mysticl said:

pandaglitter said:

mysticl said:

pandaglitter said:

If my five year old is at home, she's usually wearing her princess dress. (Rapunzel). She's obsessed with princesses, and we've had many talks about how they're just make believe and it's fun to dress up, but there are more important things than being pretty and dressing like a princess and talk about how she's very smart and creative and caring and how those things are most important.

But she's still obsessed with princesses and Sophia the First and wearing this damn dress. Is there a point where you would worry? What bothers me the most is how much she asks if she's beautiful and stuff. I know its not a huge deal because she is still a very avid reader and I don't think she's missing out on doing things because of her princess obsession, but I want to bang my head on the wall whenever she's forced to change and says something like, "But *insert princess name* doesn't wear that!! That's not beautiful!"

EDIT: She does want to be things other than a princess when she grows up, but she's really upset that princess isn't a real career choice and she doesn't believe they don't really exist and that she can't be one.

Except they do exist.  Rapunzel and Sophia may be fictional but there are real princesses in the world and it is their job to be a princess.  At her age I watched Charles and Diana marry so if someone told me that princesses don't exist I would have known they were a liar.  She's five, neither you or she should be worried about what she wants to be when she grows up.  It's perfectly normal for a kid to want to wear the same thing all the time.  She'll outgrow the dress and the obsession.  

Disney princesses don't exist. I've shown her pictures of Kate Middleton and the Queen and everything, so she understands what real princesses are, but obviously doesn't care because its not all princes rescuing you and dressing pretty. No, I'm not worried about what career she is going to choose, but I'm not going to encourage her belief that being a princess is a career choice. It's not like I tell her she can't dress up, I just encourage her to also try to focus on things besides dressing up.

Your post did make it sound like you are worried about what she wants to be when she grows up.  Otherwise why did you bring it up?  Lots of little girls want to grow up to be princesses, it is a phase.  It may take a few weeks or a few months but she will outgrow it.  Just expose her to lots of things but don't be negative about the princess stuff that could make her cling to it harder.

And she could get a job as a Disney Princess someday.   I used to know Goofy.

I was Cinderella for a few years. Best job ever. That's all I have to contribute, really. I wouldn't think much of it, personally.

ljanette85

Mrs.adambabycakes said:

Could you tell her she can be a princess and something else? Princess Firefighter? I wouldn't worry too much. Keep reinforcing she's capable and point out other things she does well.

This. Also tell her that Repunzel is also a very talented artist and she reads books all the time! I'm not too familiar with Sophia though.

Good idea, give rapunzel hobbies and traits that veer away from beauty. Tell her that rapunzel loves science and hiking, whatever you want. If I had a daughter I would definitely be concerned about too much princess stuff, but I think that this is a harmless phase for your LO.

nixieknox3

when i was 5, i wouldn't wear anything that wasn't pink.  i wore dresses constantly and played princesses every waking minute.  by the time i was in 5th grade, i was strictly a jeans and t-shirt girl.  it's just a phase.  i agree with the previous posters who said that the emphasis on beauty has more to do with mom's reaction to her own flaws and the flaws and beauty of other women.