MIL creating stress...what to do?!

greenplum

Hello All,

Sadly my MIL is going through some anxiety issues that she is incapable of dealing with.  Despite seeing a therapist/family doc, she is working herself into a frenzy and not following any of the practical advice she receives from friends, family & professionals.  We have always been close, so naturally she is turning to me to be a listening ear.  Her hubby and 2 sons are no help in this dept.  

However, her anxiousness and obsessive need to discuss the same problems over and over are really effecting my mood and stress levels - - definitely NOT what I want for LO and myself.  

I know I have to find a way to create boundaries, but she lives down the street and has been so close to me, I am having issues distancing myself without hurting her feelings and creating a rift.  Any experience in this area?

Thanks for reading!

BabyButler2010

That is a tough situation.  Can you let her know that as much as you love her and wish that you could help- it is stressing you out to rehash the same thing over and over again...let her know that you really are sympathetic to her problems and anxiety, but you are feeling overwhelmed and just need for her to know that you seem to be at all distant lately, it is because you are trying to keep yourself in a healthy state for the little one growing inside of you

I will keep you and your MIL in my prayers!

HUGS!

Disneygeek77

That is tough.  I would have scheduled times that you meet with her, say Sunday night for dinner and maybe one other time during the week.  Listen to her at those times and that is it.  If she tries to come over or call at a time other than a scheduled one say " MIL, sorry but we have plans now, but I will see you on Sunday."

greenplum

Great advice babybutler and disneygeek! Thank you so much for your spot on words of encouragement! I will try to use these this week

ShhItsASecret

I could a written this post myself!!! My MIL is going through the same thing and I basically had to flat out tell her that if she's not willing to listen to a professionals advice then I didn't want to give her any input and that it was not fair of her to put her stress on me. She took it hard but she was over in like a week and she has been better about constantly talking about stressful topics which IMO is helping her because I honestly think she's dwelling on it less.
Maybe you could suggest that instead of discussing certain topics she try to be positive and talk about happy stuff?
Or when she brings up stuff that stresses you out just change the subject without even saying anything about that topic, she will get the hint.

greenplum

Although its such a pain, it's nice to know I'm not alone! I like the suggestion to change the subject, and if need be, I'll take the flat out honest approach! Thanks a million!