Rudest or most bizarre advice you've received

Jackiehurshman

When I went for my very first doctors appt, my doctor was away practicing medicine in third world countires...so he's father who is a doctor was there taking on his patients. Anyway he's like congratulation.. Blah blah blah, then starts talking right away about miscarriages and saying that there is a possibility I could have one... Which is true since I found out so early, but it just kinda made be think during the first 3 months that it was going to happen anyway here I am almost 4 months (15 weeks 5 days) still going strong

flcl

MamaP19 said:

I expected to hear a lot of the "you're so big!" or "sleep while you can" comments. The ones I hated were constant my labor was sooooo terrible stories. I had women tell me about stillbirths and labors lasting a week long, etc. Way to freak out a FTM!

My SIL (who will tell anyone and everyone she never wants kids) was probably the worst though. DH and I went to dinner with my mom, brother, and her and her first comment after we shared our news was "Oh! If that was me I would be at planned parenthood for an abortion in a heartbeat!" She then proceeded to talk about all of the things she hates about kids and tell me a list of things I was/was not able to do with my child or name my child.    I've never once criticized her for her decision not to have kids, so I was expecting that she might be the slightest bit happy for us and for the new member of the family. Haha, I was wrong.

Don't you love people who think that the time for them to talk about their views on children is when you're pregnant?  So self-centered!  How is you sharing your happy news the appropriate time for her to go off on her views on children?  I would think she's had plenty of opportunities to share her thoughts on this topic.  Sorry she couldn't show some class and hold her tongue.  I had a friend who was the same way.  Every conversation about my pregnancy (regardless who brought up the topic... and I tried really hard to stay away from the topic with her) turned into her views on how she hates pregnant women are and how disgusting having children are.  She's even said comments such as "I'm mad at your baby" (like it's my baby's fault I'm pregnant) or "you and your stupid baby".  The one good thing about my situation is, she's not family and I don't have to continue having her around.  I'm sorry that this is your SIL... hopefully, she'll get better as your pregnancy progresses!

bellc1980

Here's a good one...I am 32 years old and had my first child about 15 months ago and am 15 weeks pregnant.  I get all the time, "are you sure you're ready for this at such a young age"?  Um, how long would you like me to wait 'til I'm 40 or 50?  What happened to if you can't say anything nice keep you're effing mouth shut!  I just smile and say I'm almost 33, how long should I have waited?  And I get blank stares!

MamaP19

@flcl - My SIL said that when I was pregnant with my DD. She and my brother have only seen her a few times at family gatherings. This last time they asked when I was going to let them babysit!! Besides being uncomfortable with her comments about kids, they also have three very large and very poorly trained dogs who I would never let around DD - so that's a no.

@bellc1980 - Why is it people think having kids close together is a mistake/accident?? Mine will be 19 months apart and I get lots of lovely looks at my bump when I'm out with DD.

lesleygosooners

I got the question..."Was it planned?" Ummm....first off, wow. Secondly, yes.

Urple45

I have had a cashier in a store ask me why was I so big for four months that I must be having twins (I'm having only one and have gained only four pounds).

tesskerr

Mainly my FI gets "Your life is over". He has been told by many people to finished his (project, very expensive) car, before the baby gets here. Which makes no sense to me. Shouldn't we spend that $10,000 it's going to cost to finish the project, on baby stuff/mortgage/time off work etc etc? I guess the theory is, we are going to have NO MONEY EVER AGAIN!!!

He has also been told watching the baby be born is like "Watching your favourite pub burn down".

I have got the baby better not be a vegetarian (like me). That I will have to grate up frozen liver to sneak in it's food, because I am a vegetarian?!. The baby is going to eat like her dad, 90% healthy vegetarian, and a little fish once a week. Maybe other meats every now and then (at FI discretion). 

I have been accused of "forcing" FI to be a vegetarian (he is a grown man, he eats what he wants) and I better not do that to this kid, or I will mess them up. 

BethQB

Yes, my mother just cannot fathom that I'm planning on cloth diapering. She acts like I have no idea what comes out of a baby and I read a tweet or something and decided to do it. I have done so much research into this it's not even funny. Argh. 

MissDemeanor

When my doc told me I was pregnant (it was a surprise) he asked if I was happy, and even though I said yes, he suggested I think about termination since I was on anti depressants and he didn't know if they would affect the baby or not. After 3 months of being terribly sick every day, I went to a walk in clinic doctor, to see about getting meds for the MS. He told me it's time I 'stop being selfish, and learn to think about the baby'! It's probably no surprise that after my experiences with those doctors that I decided to get a midwife

lopezalonso

My great aunt told me yesterday to not hold the baby a lot because then the baby would be spoiled and cry all night. She also told me that when her son was two-months-old she spanked him for crying out to be held because "it was just too much, he was spoiled." I thought this was insane!

luvmybundle

only negative i've gotten so far is that this pregnancy and me keeping the baby is "fcuked up". how sweet!  at least that one wasn't said to my face.  but i'm sure more negative stuff will be coming.

now for bizarre: i told a friend that i was going to the beach and she told me to make sure i wear a tampon so that nothing will "go up there". i couldnt respond.

lizzielou742

Gosh people are awful.

I have heard:

-Did you do this on purpose? (Um, yes, but it's none of your business.)

-You'll have to get rid of your cats now. You can't have a baby and cats living in the same house.

-Oh you're pregnant? Let me tell you in detail about my four miscarriages. Congrats by the way.

-You'll have to feed the baby meat, even though you're a vegetarian. (Right, like a baby can't live without animal protein.)

Therese Demesa

"Congrats, I am happy that our kids will have their first cousin on the way."

"However, I am disappointed in you because you cannot reach your career goals."

Bipolar SIL....babies happen. Does not mean I cannot achieve my goals anymore...thanks for the encouragement lol. 

Therese Demesa

amen sistah!!

LittleBabyTabb said:

How about: "Are you READY for a baby?" Or a fabulous lecture on the "financial burdens that a baby will be.... " or, when you are moving into a cheaper place, "Are you SURE you want to live there?!?" THANKS everyone. I hadn't even thought of the financial ramifications of a baby. Or maybe I think about it every day, and the fact that you just mentioned it made me worry about it again. Thanks for that. Also, if I am moving into a new place, it is with my child in mind. Please do not question me. You have no idea what it is like to be me.

VaneH

My husband's brother's wife keeps telling us that we won't sleep anymore once the baby is born. They just had a baby 10 months ago and she's always telling me that now she's an expert and keeps trying to give me advice. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the advice but always trying to pass on their bad experiences and acting like a know-it-all is what I don't like. And yes... I might be sensitive...   

hbrooks88974

A lady told me today (after I told her I was having a girl) that girls suck the beauty out of you so that they can have it for themselves. 

ummm.....thanks lady? lol

cagossel

Just had this one happen tonight. My husband and I are Jewish, and we don't eat any pork as such. Well a full day of us rearranging the house, getting some baby books and starting our registry and cleaning we decided to order a pizza. One side was Beef, my side was chicken, and all olives on the other side. The pizza delivery place burned our breadsticks, and stuck pepperoni on the pizza in addition to what we wanted. So we call the place, tell them we'll just drive on over and we can exchange it there. They asked why we don't want pepperoni on our pizza and my husband replies, well if you must know we don't eat pork because of our religion, as well as my wife is pregnant and has a heart condition and she isn't supposed to eat the pork anyways.

This teenage girl looks at me, throws the pizza down and says Are you sure she's pregnant and not just wearing one of those fake bellies like Beyonce did? To which I say back to her, get the pizza, and are you sure you don't want to have a pizza shoved in your face little girl? Her eyes just about popped out, and we did not have to wait 5 minutes on that thing, and the manager ended up taking over and giving us a free box of cookies. I'm telling you, I'm getting to dang old for hearing this stuff.

stacylulu

I just LOOOOVE when people point out your age and determine that as your ability to be a good mother. You'd think you wouldnt get no comments in your mid twenties being pregnant but you do. My dads friend (before even meeting me) asked how old i was  and he said my age, his friend says "well what the hell is she doing pregnant???!" 

I was very mad. my dad just laughed it off saying 24 is a good age. (he was 25 when he had me) and i came in there saying even though age shouldnt be determined on a good or bad mother......

now his friend thinks im a good lady and cool. freakin men. 

cagossel

Oh don't I know this one. I'm an older mother, 32, and will still be 32 when the baby arrives, and I've gotten some really rude answers from people in response to me finally letting the cat out of the bag and telling them I am indeed pregnant. What gets me though is that the fact of the matter is, age doesn't matter. I mean take for example two people. I have one friend in the Church I go to that is 20 years old, and she is an amazing mom, good wife, her husband is in the military and she does a bang up job of raising her two twin boys. I have this stepsister though, who is 29 years old, married and feeds junk food to her 4 year old, and has been in and out of rehab several times this year because she has a pill popping addiction. Seriously, this chick needs to get her priorities straight and actually could learn something for my 20 year old friend.

I really think some people just don't get the concept that some people may be older, but that doesn't mean that they are as mature as someone that is possibly younger than they are when it comes to raising kids.

ACDC92912

I have a co-worker (thank God she's a float) who consistently calls my unborn child a parasite. I'll say stuff like that I'm tired or craving a certain food and she'll go on about how the "parasite" is doing it all! 

How rude!? I tell her all the time that parasites are unwanted. Our little girl is most definitely not...

Jennoskcaj

I'm pregnant with my first and what I've heard twice now is "wow, finally, you guys REALLY took your time! you took forever, etc!" We've been TTC for more than 3 years and have spent most of that time going through fertility treatments, so I really get annoyed with those comments. People just don't think about how rude their comments may be, even when they don't mean it.

alyssanicole1

I am 17 weeks and have been terrible sick the entire pregnancy. I had a lady ask me last night how I have been feeling and I responded with "well I have been really sick" her response was "your not as sick as I was"....like she even know how sick I am! It's like she took claim over sickest pregnant person ever! Ugh

alyssanicole1

I have also had the "this must have been a surprise" No actually my husband and I planned it not that it's anyone's business

pigtails1031777

Haha I've heard it all from " you're having a natural birth? Ate you crazy? You know you don't get a award after right!" To " wow you're small is there something wrong with your baby?"
Umm nice
Then when I had my 2nd a lady came over and repositioned my 2 months old arm in a carrier on my chest. I was like wtf are you doing?

pigtails1031777

Ditto on the cloth!
Dd2 was allergic to diapers and HAD to use them. Her poor labia was split open from being allergic and only 3 days old.
I just don't tell people anything anymore.

justifyyourlove

Oh gees, last week...I will not name anybody (not that it matters online) but I've learned to brush it off.  At work, we were talking about how expensive a budget is for a newborn then it came to investing in a new crib.  Then, someone *seriously* tells me, "Oh, forget that.  I'd never buy a new crib for my baby.  I would just bleach a used one".  Oh wow, it's amazing how ignorate and stupid advice can be?

KitKat1280

Rude comments: Neighbour- "FINALLY! My husband and I had a bet that you'd never conceive." Mom- "it's ok if you don't have a gender preference with your first, the second one is the one that matters. Then you can pray to have a girl." WTF?!! MIL-"it'll be nice to have a baby shower. I hate celebrating wedding showers since there's a 50/50 chance the marriage will end in divorce. But celebrating a baby is always 100% good news." Co-worker:"I thought that you were pregnant, but didn't want to ask since your weight fluctuates."

wtfisup

kee271 said:

I shared this before, but my (awful) grandmother said to me, "I don't know why you're so excited. You don't know if this baby will live or die."

She is the worst.

Whaaaaaatatttttt?!??

TheTamedShrew

lopezalonso said:

My great aunt told me yesterday to not hold the baby a lot because then the baby would be spoiled and cry all night. She also told me that when her son was two-months-old she spanked him for crying out to be held because "it was just too much, he was spoiled." I thought this was insane!

Lurker over here. Not pregnant and my DD is 4.5 months. This literally made me tear up just now. How awful.

Airynn Chica

The neighbor, whom I also work with, said "Can you really afford that?" I was shocked! My parents are the only ones who could acceptably ask that question and they didn't. I just said Yes, we can!

ewallace00

lesleygosooners said:

I got the question..."Was it planned?" Ummm....first off, wow. Secondly, yes.

I just got this one this week too! It was from a kind of sexist older man I work with. Go to hell, we gave been married a year and a half and are well into our 30's!

Julili

"Please, please don't use the microwave while you're pregnant." 

"My friend told me to avoid horseradish during pregnancy. I felt the need to share that with you for some reason." 

LOL. My grandma told me the baby needed to "work on her tummy" after I showed her the profile from our anatomy scan. It was clearly a joke, but I also thought it was a weird thing to say about an unborn child.

After I told my mom the name I thought we had chosen for the baby (although I found out later that husband didn't actually like it and had just been "testing it out"), she told me that I couldn't name her that because it was the name of one of the women with whom my grandpa cheated on my grandma (both grandparents long deceased).