Rudest or most bizarre advice you've received

apostle85

I know someone posted a week or so ago about people saying rude things to them when they told someone they were pregnant.  I'm just curious (since that's happened to me a lot too) what is the rudest or most bizarre thing someone has said to you or weird advice you've been given?

Some of my favorites:

- I'm so glad I'M not having anymore kids, better you than me because your life is over now.
- I can't believe you're going back to work!
- You see a midwife, you're not having one of those weird home births in a baby pool are you?!
- Sleep now, you won't ever sleep again.

Soap1

Eh, yours don't sound that bad.  I guess it depends on the context.  After my 2nd was born, I definitely said something like the first one to all my pregnant friends.  And people love to say #4, which isn't really very helpful.  I usually tell pregnant people, yes, you can't sleep while you're pregnant, but at least you can stay in your bed and toss and turn rather than deal with a screaming newborn.

I think we are all a little sensitive because we're pregnant, but mostly people are just either trying to help, or being snarky (I'm always snarky).

apostle85

Soap1 said:

Eh, yours don't sound that bad.  I guess it depends on the context.  After my 2nd was born, I definitely said something like the first one to all my pregnant friends.  And people love to say #4, which isn't really very helpful.  I usually tell pregnant people, yes, you can't sleep while you're pregnant, but at least you can stay in your bed and toss and turn rather than deal with a screaming newborn.

I think we are all a little sensitive because we're pregnant, but mostly people are just either trying to help, or being snarky (I'm always snarky).

I guess I wasn't expecting people to say things like that, I just expected a congratulations, especially from my own family.  My mom and mother-in-law however have been the most supportive and kind.  I can't say the same for many of my aunts and my sister in law.

Soap1

apostle85 said:

Soap1 said:

Eh, yours don't sound that bad.  I guess it depends on the context.  After my 2nd was born, I definitely said something like the first one to all my pregnant friends.  And people love to say #4, which isn't really very helpful.  I usually tell pregnant people, yes, you can't sleep while you're pregnant, but at least you can stay in your bed and toss and turn rather than deal with a screaming newborn.

I think we are all a little sensitive because we're pregnant, but mostly people are just either trying to help, or being snarky (I'm always snarky).

I guess I wasn't expecting people to say things like that, I just expected a congratulations, especially from my own family.  My mom and mother-in-law however have been the most supportive and kind.  I can't say the same for many of my aunts and my sister in law.

So ARE you having a weird home birth in a baby pool? :P

RedPeppah

Nothing yet this pregnancy, but with my first, I heard the dreaded "Are you carrying two?!" How rude. And the moral of that story... I had only gained 25 pounds that whole pregnancy, but that didn't stop people from throwing that out there.

apostle85

No home birth for me!  Just an unmedicated birth (I hope) which is also very shocking to people.

RedPeppah - I can't believe someone asked that, sometimes I wonder if they can't think of anything else to say!

BabyButler2010

One of my customers told me that in another couple of months they will have to roll me out of the store in a wheelbarrow.  Seriously??  I have gained weight in my midsection, and I'm not a petite or tiny person, but I don't think I'm ENORMOUS!  LOL- I just chalked it up to him really not knowing that his comment was rude...

apostle85

BrittAnnie19 said:

I got the looks of shock that I wasn't due yesterday with my daughter when strangers asked when my due date was an I said I have a month to go. Screw you people.

My sis and BIL were filled with negative comments the second we announced with my daughter.

When I was 9 months along with my daughter a stranger in Wal-Mart asked if I was "keeping it or giving it away." SMH.

I don't understand at all why family thinks it's okay to be rude to someone who's have a kid.  My SIL is the same way and it makes me crazy!

Someone asked if you were giving away the baby?!?!  WTF!

eisma

Ha! My in laws said, now you are making us old since you're having a baby.

Supermommyof3

I am a nanny of two kids girl is 19 months and boy is 3 years. I also take my 3 year old to work with me. Today we were in the mall at lunch and a random woman walks up to me and says "didn't you figure out what causes this problem after the first 3?" I responded with "Yes, but the last time I slapped a rude stranger she pressed charges!" ThE lady was dumb founded and when she walked away the couple at the next high fived me!

CopperT0p

I didn't have much with my first pregnancy, but I had an odd comment today that I wasn't sure how to take.  A lady at work took a look at my belly and said "you won't make it until January". I'm pretty sure she was referencing how large I am already, and really that could be taken either way. 

rbtrumpet

I've shared both of these on Nov, but can be repeated here...

bizarre advice:

MIL told me that I'm not allowed to shower for 1 month after giving birth because I might catch a cold.

She is coming to see the baby a month after my due date, I half want to not shower just to show her how bad of an idea that is!

rude comment:

An acquaintance of mine ran into me the other day.  He asked if I was pregnant, I said yes.  He asked if it was a boy or girl:
me: "girl"
him "oh.....I guess it takes both to make the world go round."
me ::awkward stare::
him "oh, is that what your husband wanted???"

me "we're just happy she's healthy"  ::walk away::

yeah....he definitely lacks in social skills....

Babi2comingSoon2014

"maybe your morning sickness is just a placibo effect since you know your pregnant now".... co-worker(who has no children)

waittilltomorrow

I was about 9 months pregnant looking at bedding in a shop and the sales assistant told me she hopes that my waters don't break in her shop. I asked out without buying anything.

jknigh8

I tend to gain all my weight in the last month of pregnancy. With both my other girls, people said "you're awfully small, are you sure everything is ok?" I got this constantly and it drove me crazy. 1st, none of their business, and 2nd, trying to freak out a pregnant lady is not cool. 

peitri

It might not be considered rude by all, but my in-laws asked for years when DH and I were going to have a baby. So when we finally told them we were pregnant, they didn't believe us at first! Then it was more of a, "FINALLY!" reaction once it sunk in. What if our plan was to never have kids? I found it a little rude.

bargainbabe75

OMG! That is outrageous!!! Well done for being able to just walk away from that.

bargainbabe75

rbtrumpet said:

I've shared both of these on Nov, but can be repeated here...

bizarre advice:

MIL told me that I'm not allowed to shower for 1 month after giving birth because I might catch a cold.

She is coming to see the baby a month after my due date, I half want to not shower just to show her how bad of an idea that is!

rude comment:

An acquaintance of mine ran into me the other day.  He asked if I was pregnant, I said yes.  He asked if it was a boy or girl:
me: "girl"
him "oh.....I guess it takes both to make the world go round."
me ::awkward stare::
him "oh, is that what your husband wanted???"

me "we're just happy she's healthy"  ::walk away::

yeah....he definitely lacks in social skills....

OMG! That is outrageous!!! Well done for being able to just walk away from that.

kee271

I shared this before, but my (awful) grandmother said to me, "I don't know why you're so excited. You don't know if this baby will live or die." She is the worst.

r0zz

Every time my mom face times me its usually when I'm eating lunch or dinner and at one point all I could keep down was ramen and she'd always tell me, "you better stop eating carbs or the baby will get fat and it's gonna be hard to push out"
And I'm just like, sorrrrryy that I've been throwing up like crazy and all I can stomach is noodles.
Then a couple of days ago I told her I was gonna be 5mo and she goes, "already? And your face isn't even fat! I guess that is all the baby"
Cuz she's basically been saying that I look too big to be x amount of weeks.

r0zz

rbtrumpet said:

I've shared both of these on Nov, but can be repeated here...

bizarre advice:

MIL told me that I'm not allowed to shower for 1 month after giving birth because I might catch a cold.

She is coming to see the baby a month after my due date, I half want to not shower just to show her how bad of an idea that is!

rude comment:

An acquaintance of mine ran into me the other day.  He asked if I was pregnant, I said yes.  He asked if it was a boy or girl:
me: "girl"
him "oh.....I guess it takes both to make the world go round."
me ::awkward stare::
him "oh, is that what your husband wanted???"

me "we're just happy she's healthy"  ::walk away::

yeah....he definitely lacks in social skills....

Is your MIL Asian by any chance? Cuz I've heard of this being an Asian superstition.
Something about how after having a baby you're super vulnerable and it's easy to catch a cold cuz of your wet hair. Idk something like that, I forget the rest.

babyNCM

Bizarre advice:

- don't setup the nursery before the baby's born, or the baby will die

- you need to "toughen" your nipples before you start breastfeeding, "here let me show/tell you what I did"

My MIL is superstitious and also doesn't have any boundaries. 

My favorite though was my FIL who said we'd never get pregnant because we used plug in air freshners. Did you know they cause infertility? LOL

rbtrumpet

bargainbabe75 said:

OMG! That is outrageous!!! Well done for being able to just walk away from that.

Yeah - I was in so much shock, I couldn't come up with a come-back, or really any response.  I still haven't been able to come up with a proper response!

r0zz said:

Is your MIL Asian by any chance? Cuz I've heard of this being an Asian superstition. Something about how after having a baby you're super vulnerable and it's easy to catch a cold cuz of your wet hair. Idk something like that, I forget the rest.

She is!  haha

tesskerr

I am 20 weeks and no bump. A few people have asked if I have lost the baby. It's pretty awkward!
My mum told me I will never ever have a clean house again, so I may as well give up now.
My mum also told me she dreamed I was pregnant the day before I told her. She told my sister she was having sympathy labour pains whilst she was in labour. I'm sure I will get many more dreams/feeling from her.
I am a little annoyed she is right about the baby being a girl!

I have been given heaps of advice to not use cloth diapers. Well I have bought them and I am so there!

My FI had had a lot of "your life is over" and now when he goes to work tomorrow, with our girl news, he is going to get a lot of "your sperm are not strong enough!". Classy.

apostle85

babyNCM said:

Bizarre advice:

- don't setup the nursery before the baby's born, or the baby will die

- you need to "toughen" your nipples before you start breastfeeding, "here let me show/tell you what I did"

My MIL is superstitious and also doesn't have any boundaries. 

My favorite though was my FIL who said we'd never get pregnant because we used plug in air freshners. Did you know they cause infertility? LOL

Toughen your nipples, that's one I've NEVER heard before!

jklivn

Nothing so far this pregnancy but with my 1st someone I didn't know at a store asked me what I was having and I said a boy, excitedly, and she then told me not to worry I was young yet and still had time to try for a girl. WTF? Since then I don't engage with strangers about my pregnancies, lol.

MrsP7309

I told a co- worker that I was having a girl and he started on how "girls were trouble, why would you want a GIRL..."

Me: "Well, that's an awkward thing to say to a WOMAN."

Him: "...touché."

amyrose542

Both my mother and MIL love telling me i all of a sudden Exploded in size....Thanks ladies as if i didnt have enough issues with my size lol.

 I also love all the women who say "Your young you can handle it" My mom loves telling me this while i'm telling her my backs sore from remodeling the baby room (stripping wall paper, scraping the ceiling, spackling the walls etc...)

snickersforeveryone

With my first I had a coworker tell me not to raise my arms above my head because it would make the cord strangle the baby.  She also would go on about how I needed to not get attached because she lost her baby midway through her pregnancy and told me all the horror stories that went with that experience.

I also had a coworker tell me she didn't realize I was pregnant, she thought I was just fat...I was about 6 weeks pregnant at the time.  So yeah...thanks for that.

bnik

I've been really sick, and I used to work at a restaurant well with as much as I've been sick I had been getting my shifts covered. And girls who were never pregnant ever were telling me how I was making myself sick. So I didn't have to go to work. Uh yes bitch puking all day everyday and having to take meds and having hypermesis gaurdivum is soo exciting. I ask "what do you suggest I do since you know tthat I'm doing this myself" she told me to eat more she swears it'll make me better.. idiot

snowwhite1979

I'm normally just a lurker but my coworker (older, no kids) told me the other day to turn off the fluorescent lights in my office because they will harm the baby.

I guess I'll just work in the dark for the next six months, thanks for the tip!

Tauristar

After leaving the hospital for a 4 day stay with dehydration caused by hypermesis and non stop vomiting for a week. I had one friend tell me that her MIL took pepto everyday,then she asked had I tried it? Wow really, my doctor admitted me for 4 days, I am weeks past pepto. Only to be out done by another friend who asked, why aren't you drinking water...like that hadn't occurred to me or like water was staying down despite vomiting every 20 minutes!

BuckeyeWife07

babyNCM said:

Bizarre advice:

- don't setup the nursery before the baby's born, or the baby will die

- you need to "toughen" your nipples before you start breastfeeding, "here let me show/tell you what I did"

My MIL is superstitious and also doesn't have any boundaries. 

My favorite though was my FIL who said we'd never get pregnant because we used plug in air freshners. Did you know they cause infertility? LOL

Lurking from First Tri, but my MIL totally told me (when pg with my first) the "toughen your nipples" line in a million uncomfortable ways. She also told me that when your pushing your need to "imagine you're a guy and you're trying to piss on the ceiling." I just sat there with no words... After five kids, that's the advice she had to give... odd to say the least! 

frantastic12

amyrose542 said:

Both my mother and MIL love telling me i all of a sudden Exploded in size....Thanks ladies as if i didnt have enough issues with my size lol.

 I also love all the women who say "Your young you can handle it" My mom loves telling me this while i'm telling her my backs sore from remodeling the baby room (stripping wall paper, scraping the ceiling, spackling the walls etc...)

This is my mom as well..."wow, I can't believe how big you've gotten".  I just gave her a dirty look.  You mean you can't believe that I started showing between the last time you saw me (at 4mo) and now (at 5mo)?  And for the record, my weight gain has been average. 

She said "well, you're pregnant!  It's not bad to get bigger"...I said "exactly, I'm pregnant, what do you expect me to look like?!". 

bnik

@tauristar lol! I get that a lot too. Asking stupid questions like you want to throw up that little sip of water you just took. People don't understand!

mythaldo

I'm 14 weeks today and my boss touched my bump yesterday without asking (already a bit rude, but we know each other well). I said, "Yup, the evidence is finally showing up." And his response was, "Yeah, better hit the gym hard as soon as that baby arrives."

Seriously? O_O

I've always been petite and slim, so I think he must have thought that wouldn't bother me. I just wanted to say, "No, I will probably be recovering from childbirth, breastfeeding and caring for a newborn first. The gym can wait as far as I'm concerned."

TsengAkera

Mine came, if you can believe it.. from a nurse at Naval hospital at Camp Lejeune. She was the nurse taking down my medical history, saw that my pre pregnancy BMI for my height was 32 which in this world is classified as obese.. with no account to body structure of anything. 

She told me I needed to lose weight, this was after telling me I needed to gain weight for the pregnancy. When I told her I had lost a bunch already her response "Oh GOOD!" didn't ask how I had lost the weight or anything but that dropping 13 pounds was good during a twin pregnancy...then she gave me info for weight loss and nutrition classes like I was just some fat ass that eats to much instead of someone with PCOS and hormone imbalances.. 

RandiG8

My ex friend who is most definitively now the most stuck up bitch I have yet to meet told me that after seeing my body after having two children that she no longer wants kids. She just had her second baby and I can't wait for her to have her third. 

cksmith29

About a month after giving birth to my second child, a random, strange woman approached me while grocery shopping to ask if I just had a baby.  When I replied yes, she said she thought so because my boobs were just huge.  Uhhhhh....... thanks for noticing.... awkward....

My husband and I are expecting a surprise 3rd baby.  He will be 43 when the baby is born, which is apparently ancient in my area for becoming a new parent.  As he is so proudly telling everyone our fantastic news, their first response is, "And you are how old?  Isn't that a bit old to be having babies?".  Nice.... real nice. 

stacylulu

I had some negative comments from family sometimes and healthy advice from others

my sister "aw man your boobs are gonna get huge and leaky, then flat as paper! add on to the stretch marks too!"

even my mom got mad at her saying this to me 

healthy advice for when to put the baby to bed to get a few hours of sleep. which im going to try. she got her baby up at 11 pm to feed it, bathe him, and play with him for an hour. laid him down and he didnt get up til 6 am. every night she did this. 

McGuireMommy

I'm not sure about rude, but I'm getting tired of people telling me I have "lots of time to worry about it" before she arrives in January.  I'd like to have most of the large things (decorating the nursery, major baby gear) taken care of before the holidays.  We have Thanksgiving and DD1's 2nd birthday (which happen to be the same day this year) and Christmas, which will take up most of the month of December to prepare for.