So on Monday I went to a regular ob appointment. I was measuring at 21 weeks, but they couldn't find the heartbeat. I was supposed to have my A/S on Tuesday. They brought in the ultrasound machine, where she still didn't find a heartbeat. So, they sent me to the hospital to have it confirmed. DH wasn't with me, but my mom was. So after confirming that the baby had no heartbeat, we went home. I explained to my husband what happened, and we went to L&D on Tuesday. After talking with many specialists, we decided that I'd go through labor and delivery because this was the farthest I've made it in pregnancy, and I wanted to hold my baby. Also, this would give the opportunity to do a autopsy. I gave birth to a baby boy at 11:42 pm Tuesday night. He was nine inches long and seven ounces.
This is my third loss, but I haven't posted in this community before, because the other two had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks, so I posted in the miscarriage community. I'm finding the "un-telling" part especially hard since this was the farthest I've been and we told everyone. Talking to a friend, she confessed that she found it difficult as well, because since I had made it this far, she thought this one was going to make it...it hurts because I know that's how everyone felt including DH and myself. I feel like my body has failed everyone.