Random thoughts (long) — The Bump

Random thoughts (long)

kbeebkbeeb member
I am due August 29th, so I have officially entered that odd limbo point where LO could be arriving in a week...or in 7! I feel like there is so much that I still need to do around the house to get ready (it is so much harder nesting with a two year old!) and while I can't wait, I am also realizing how little time is left to practice my breathing, etc...I had my birthing class this weekend and it was a mixed experience. I'm really glad we took it again, but it was weird being the only parents in a room full of first timers. When we got the info on various interventions (epidurals, vacuum extractions, c/s, etc) I was watching all of their faces and seeing the horror in them that I remebered feeling last time. Then I did the head count/ statically math and decided to share my story. I asked if any of them were planning C/S, and they all shook their heads no - then I pointed out that by the statistics, at least 2, possibly three of the woman in that room would need one. I shared how i had known the statistic with DS, but that even sitting in the room counting, while I had been amazed how many would need it, it never occurred to me that one of those woman would be me. It wasn't an option in my birthing plan. I was an all natural, med free, waterbirth girl - if anything I was ok with maybe needing pain meds, but no epidural, and I understood that I may not be able to have a water birth, but I would still labor in the tub. Fast forward to my due date when they discover DS was not head down, as they had thought all month, but was in fact breech, and it was "too late" to do anything about it. I was devastated - and I was also very uninformed. I had no idea what to expect from a C/S, and I was in no place mentally to start research...And stressed to the group that while I am fine now with the birth I had, that I wish I had been more open to begin with, I wish I had learned more about the various interventions before hand, and I wish I had planned a back up birth plan...That while it is great to go into L&D with high hopes for your best birth, it is important to remember, that at the end of the day the most important thing in bringing LO home with you...

anyway, I shared my story with a group of FTM and watching their faces (through my tears) as they seemed to realize that this COULD be them...so, hopefully my pain has helped reduce someone else's...and a lot of them, both the moms and dads, came up to my DH and I afterwards to thank us for sharing. I also realized how much pain I was still holding onto, and I think being able to share my experience and maybe help some other FTMs has really helped me move on more...

So the best part os the birthing class though - the c/s rate at the hospital is only 14%, far below the nations average, the VBAC success rate is 92% (way up there!!!So encouraging!), and episiodomy rate is only 2%! So while I'm going into this experience a lot more open minded that my birth may not end up being what I have in mind, I have so much more confidence in my choices...and I just keep telling myself (and being told by DH, and all the wonderful staff at the Birthing Center) that I CAN DO THIS!!!!!
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Re: Random thoughts (long)

  • I agree about realizing I don't have much time/ energy to do things, especially with a toddler. :). Hopefully this weekend will be productive!

    It sounds like you were able to let some pain go from last time! That's great! My story is that I was so open minded that I just went with the flow. I don't think things would have been different if I had a birth plan, but wish I had been more informed on induction and pitocin increasing CS rates. All ended well and i had an easy recovery, but still hope for a vbac this time!
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  • I think it's great you helped the other moms prepare for the possibility of a c/s.  Like you, I never thought I would be that 1 in 4 FTM who has a c/s, so I was completely unprepared when I ended up with one, and I think that made the experience a lot harder than it might have been.

    Big sister {September 2008} Sweet boy {April 2011} Fuzzy Bundle {ETA July 2014}

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  • That is awesome that you shared your story.  I wish I had done some research on induction and c-section but of course I wasn't planning those and I trusted the information given to me at my childbirth class and by my CNM.  Specifically the information about Cytotec.  It was presented as a safe, mild, minimally invasive way to induce labor.  Heck, DH bought the party line so much that when I say it was used to induce me he "corrects" me by saying it wasn't used to induce but just to ripen my cervix (I think he finally understands that is induction).  I normally look up every drug I'm on but I didn't after the class because I didn't think I would need it and then I'm sitting in OB's office with a CNM telling me I'm done and need to go straight to the hospital because of my blood pressure.  No opportunity to do any research then.  I always say that I gave misinformed consent when it came to the use of Cytotec.  
  • Your post brought tears to my eyes because I feel like I could have written this myself (except for being in a birthing class recently!).  I am so glad that you were able to share your story with those moms.   Hopefully it helped at least a few of them but even if they still think it can't happen to them, it's really great that you could release some of the pain you're still holding on to by talking about it.  Now that we are TTC again I've been bringing up a lot of those old feelings and it really helps to let it out.

    Best of luck to you on your VBAC!!
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    Lilypie - (oGcT)Lilypie - (iEmQ)  
  • I totally relate to this post. I knew the statistics. Heck I am a nurse and saw many CS during my OB rotation. My CNM practice had a 10%CS rate. During birth class our instructor ( doula/ natural/ Home birth advocate) informed us that likely one couple out of the ten of us would end up having every intervention done. I was in total DENIAL that this could be me! Even during labor I was in denial until the sh* hit the fan and I could no longer avoid all the problems going on. This resulted in a lot of emotional pain afterwards for me. I feel much more prepared now for the possibility of a RCS. VBAC hopeful.
    BFP 11/10/13 due July 20th, 2014
    TTC #2 July 2013
    DS #1 8/12/2011

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