Tantrums!

jk382

Nolan is 18 months and the terrible twos have hit our house big time! We use 1-2-3 Magic for timeout, but how does everyone handle tantrums when out in public? Nolan has poor safety awareness and tends to gravitate to the most dangerous thing around. When I stop him, he has a full on meltdown. I usually just hold him (he likes to flail on the floor/concrete if I don't) and ignore it. What else should I be doing???

mamatobe2012

Following!  Dylan is just getting over Rosaleo (sp?) and has his last canines coming in and has not been himself.  Wants to be hold or eating fruit 24/7.  He just whines even though were not trying to stop him from doing anything.  If you try to put him down he lifts his knees so you can't unless you lay him on the floor (really weird but kinda cute).

@jldetweiler what is 1-2-3 Magic?

Sept07b2b

jumping in here - 1-2-3 magic is fabulous!!!  It's worked wonders on my 4 year old DS.  You can either buy the book or the video.  I recommend the video since it's much quicker to get through.  The basic concept behind it is to provide your child with 3 warnings, so if they are doing something you do not like, you say "that's 1."  If they continue, you say, "that's 2," and then if they continue, you say, "that's 3 - take 5," and then put them in time-out.  The trick is to stay totally and utterly calm.  When the time-out is over, then you don't say anything about it and go on as if nothing has happened.  

I know the author of the book says you can start when your child is 18 months old, but I kind of feel like that's a little young to understand the concept.  

jk382

We do a modified 1-2-3 Magic.  If Nolan is doing something he shouldn't be I say "Nolan, that's 1." If he continues, "Nolan, that's 2."  If he still keeps doing it, "Nolan, that's 3 you need to take 5."  At that point, I pick him up and hold him away from me facing a wall for about a minute. When the time out is finished, I get down at his eye level and tell him why he was in time out.  I haven't found a better way to do time out other than holding him.  Some people say to use the pack-n-play, but we use that to travel so I don't want him to have any negative associations with it.  

The tantrums lately have been horrible.  Every time we try to transition from an activity, he has a major meltdown.  We were painting outside and he said he was "all done" so we came in to wash up and he threw a terrible fit.  At the zoo last week, every time I tried to stop him from doing something dangerous, he just lost it.  He refuses to hold hands, be held, or ride in the stroller when we are out.  I used to be able to wear him in the Ergo, but he is refusing that as well.  He just wants to be independent, but he lacks the safety awareness to do so.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated because I just don't know what to do!  

iluvcandy

i do the same thing....i started "time out" and i just hold him in the corner while he cries... but i just talked to my friend and she said you can't be there and should leave them there.  she said that they'll walk away, but you just have to keep putting them back and eventually they'll stay there??  i just can't imagine my son staying there ever!  i feel like he's too young to understand that, but she said she started with her daughter at the same age (18 months)  Anyone else do this with success?? 

sunnyday016

iluvcandy said:

i do the same thing....i started "time out" and i just hold him in the corner while he cries... but i just talked to my friend and she said you can't be there and should leave them there.  she said that they'll walk away, but you just have to keep putting them back and eventually they'll stay there??  i just can't imagine my son staying there ever!  i feel like he's too young to understand that, but she said she started with her daughter at the same age (18 months)  Anyone else do this with success?? 

This is the Supernanny method, and it does work, but I don't think it would work with a child this young. I can see it working with a 2 year old, but not now.

DS has tantrums all day long. Major part of the reason he still has his paci almost all day- it makes a day with him bearable. This morning we were getting ready to leave vacation to come home- so lots of running around packing & cleaning, and he literally followed me for an hour crying at me. There were kids all over the house to play with, lots of toys and things to do, but he chose to follow me and cry. 

So...no answers, but I feel your pain. My DD was never like this. Her tantrums have always been about something specific.