I'm having a really hard time at the moment. SO is a 4 hour plane ride away, he left last week and returns Friday morning. I'm a mom of three small girls, was TTC our fourth and last, experienced 3 natural early miscarriages. Beginning of April I was having BETA lvl tested every 3 days because my # was very inconsistent. Ranging from 100-400, it would rise and drop, rise and drop, and continue to fluctuate. This baffled my OB and myself and we were on a "wait and see" basis. While walking thru the grocery store Monday morning with my younger two in tow I experienced extreme abdominal pain. I had experienced this before over the weekend but the pain would go away within an hour and I just figured it was natural miscarriage symptoms. This was growing in pain and nothing would ease up. For those who are curious, it felt like being in the throws of labor, or like period cramps x 1000. I went to the ER, where doctors discovered internal bleeding due to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy in my left fallopian tube. I was rushed into surgery where I had the left tube removed. The hardest part for me is that I was still holding on to hope that it was still a viable pregnancy. Everyone, even my OB, kept saying "so and so had beta numbers like that and they ended up having a healthy baby." And then to have the loss, the emergency surgery, and be put into the labor and delivery unit to recover, of all places! In addition to my SO being away... I feel just so sad and alone.
I am so sorry for your loss, that sounds so awful! I can't believe they put you in labor and delivery. I hope your SO comes home soon. My DH travels a lot for work and before I didn't mind him being away but now I feel so alone lately, its hard. *hugs*
I am so sorry for your losses and for everything you have been through recently. That sounds terrifying. I hope your physical recovery is easy (& you can go home, or at least out of l&d soon). Hugs.
About me: /loss mentioned/ TTC#1 July 2014 dx: MFI (morphology) IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!! hb 146 bpm at 7w5d 1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w d&c, followed by cytotec TTCAL April 2016 IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
Omg im so sorry, for your pain, your so being away, you having the ectopic, and being on l&d floor. Its a lot for you to go through. If you need to talk we are all here. I hope your healing is quick. Hugs to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story is very similar to mine. My had ectopic did not rupture (I'm sure it was a matter of time) but I also lost my left tube and had to recover in l&d. That was awful they really need to have a better protocol for loss recovery in hospitals.
The thing that was the biggest knife in the gut for me is my baby had a heartbeat when they removed it. That haunts me still.
Anyway, just wanted to pop in and tell you you're not alone.
TW children mentioned *
I got pregnant 2 months post ectopic with my son. So, having one tube did not hinder my ability to conceive. Hope it's the same for you ((hugs)).
So sorry for what you're going through. I hope your SO is home now. My ectopic was discovered 3/25 and after two rounds of methotrexate failed I had surgery 4/4. The dr specifically asked if I was ok with being on the OB floor or not. I could be in a room way at end of hallway and since I knew the nurses there would be more knowledgable about my surgery and recovery I did chose that floor. I was grateful they gave me the option though and that it was a slow time on the floor- thank goodness I didn't hear any newborn cried or I would have lost it. The nurses were good about keeping my door shut too. I hope you're recovering well from surgery. Hang in there.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through 2 ectopics in the last 6 months, both ending in surgery. It is a scary time. Just wanted you to know you're not alone! I hope you heal quickly, both physically and mentally.
I just want to say sorry for your loss and let you know that I was in the exact same place in terms of beta numbers. My betas only went up 3% in 48 hours at 6 weeks yet somehow my baby had a heartbeat for 7 more weeks. It was baffling to myself and my OB and she kept saying over and over again that sometimes betas do weird things. I always knew in the back of my mind that this pregnancy was probably doomed, but H was so optimistic that things would be okay. It made it even worse when we found out that our baby had Triploidy at 12 weeks. I wish that there was a way we could have known this at 6 weeks and been more prepared for the loss.
Re: Words of encouragement (ectopic loss)
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
I am so sorry, that is a lot to go through. Sending you hugs and hoping SO gets to you soon.
BFP #1 12/23/12 EDD 9/3/13 DD #1 8/26/13
BFP #2 2/25/16 EDD 11/5/16 MMC 4/15/16
BFP #3 8/31/16 EDD 5/12/17 It's a GIRL!
Together since 2006
Married 01.17.15
The thing that was the biggest knife in the gut for me is my baby had a heartbeat when they removed it. That haunts me still.
Anyway, just wanted to pop in and tell you you're not alone.
TW children mentioned *
I got pregnant 2 months post ectopic with my son. So, having one tube did not hinder my ability to conceive. Hope it's the same for you ((hugs)).