H told me that while getting his hair cut that the subject of sex in our relationship came up. He told her that we have sex 1x a week (which is probably the norm right now). He said that she was shocked, and "I should be giving it up more". H has been a client of hers for 6 years, and there has been 1-2 occasions where we've met up with her and her family, and went out for dinner, etc. I'm not being BSC for getting mad/pissed at H for talking about these things to her, and wanting to tear her hair out for saying that ridiculous statement, right?
I asked him how in the hell does that come up in a conversation, and that should ALWAYS be something private between us. I asked him, would he want me to say similar things about our sex life to my good male friend? Then he's spinning it on me, making me look like I really don't give him enough sex, "or he wouldn't of said anything", and I should "just give it up".
Ugh. I am beyond pissed right now. I have so much fucking stuff on my plate right now- what with the re-do of the anatomy scan and my MIL being in the hospital. Oh, and taking care of our daughter!!! The last thing on my mind is sex. The first thing he wants and thinks about is sex, in a time like this.
Why are men stupid assholes?
Oh, and he got mad at me (for god knows what), and went to sleep early. Whatev.
Re: Rant about how stupid my H is.
Surprise! Baby #2 EDD 7/28/17
MC: 2/19/14
This is just absurd but tbh I do remember having to have a very pointed conversation with my husband early on in our relationship that it's not ok to air specific sexual details. Guys can be ridiculously oblivious. It came up coz he made some inane joke about my BJs or some such nonsense (sorry tmi I know).
Stick to your gut reaction and try to explain your point of view. If he's not ok with the amount of sex, that should be private discussion between only the two of you and an outsider shouldn't be the first to hear it. It's the gossipy bitching that's way out of bounds.
Sounds like this stylist is completely tacky. It's her job to cut hair and yes, talk with her customers, but to engage in that conversation was unprofessional.
BFP: 07/14/2014, EDD: 03/04/2015
Also it seriously grosses me out when people talk about 'giving' or 'withholding' sex as reward or punishment. If that's how you realistically think about sex you're in the wrong relationship.
My DH and I had a serious talk about how things would likely change in terms of frequency, etc. once I was pregnant/ babies arrive. He is probably more okay with the slightly decreased frequency than I am. This is just something you have to deal with when additional responsibilities enter your life.
Does he acknowledge that he shouldn't have talked about that with her? Or is he denying that it was inappropriate?
Married December 2011 TTC#1 Since November 2013
Dec. 2013... BFP! 12/31/13... Natural M/C 1/29/14 (8 weeks)
July 2014...BFP!... 17dpo beta 581...19dpo beta 1419!!.. stick baby, stick!
EDD: 3/20/15.. It's a boy!
And this hairstylist has said obnoxious stuff to me and DH before, so I wouldn't put it past her. Also, her lifestyle is a lot different than me and DH's, she's single and always going from bf to bf. So maybe she doesn't understand yet.
I had an ex who pressured me to have sex when I didn't want it so I finally said "Fine" and opened my legs. I stared off into space while he nailed me and waited for him to finish. Needless to say he was very unhappy with my response and stopped pestering me when I said "no."
I was a bit of a bitch when I was in my early 20's.
And shame on your husband for not only engaging in that conversation, but for trying to use it to manipulate you! I wish I could beat him with a rolled-up newspaper. Ugh.
My point is that the hairdresser may actually believe that 1x/week is crazy. It DOES NOT justify the conversation in any way. It's still super inappropriate.
He also criticizes my weight from time to time too. I never lost the baby weight from having DD (birth control made me gain weight, and stress from breastfeeding), and then wanted me to get pregnant, so now he's up my ass on how much I'm gaining, and said "by Christmas time I'll be rolling you around the house". Yea, not funny, and makes me feel like shit. I have NEVER said anything to him like that. In all honesty, the last 6 months I feel like I'm just living with a really annoying/criticizing roommate that pays for everything.
Maybe you could talk him into some counseling? It sounds like you need support.
I don't know your situation, but if my H ever said anything like that to me I would leave and stay with my parents or some friends until he begged for forgiveness and cleaned to whole damn house to boot.
At this point, it sounds like his nastiness has no consequences. Is there anything you can do to provide some push-back against his inappropriate behavior? If he's normally ok and just acting like an overgrown man child temporarily, you may be able to snap him back to his senses.