Hi Everyone!
We're working on an article and would love to hear your feedback on things you wish you knew before TTC.
Do
you wish you knew how long it can take? What gross things surprised
you? Have you stopped everything at a given moment to have sex because
you were ovulating?
Let us know and you may be included on our site!
Thanks!
BeeJ
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Re: Things I Wish I knew Before TTC
That it can take a lot shorter than you expect. People will try to rub you like you are some house pet. It's ok to not feel a motherly connection to your chubby stomach and you don't need to talk to it but none of that makes you care about the coming baby any less and there isn't anything wrong with you.
I'm kind of glad I didn't know, but I would have been able to better prepare myself, my relationship, and my career.
I wish I would have known how poorly I would react to higher hormone levels. I had minimal morning sickness, but I cry every. day. My emotions are all over the place, and I am so tired of being depressed and mad about everything all the time. I try to gather some perspective and start crying again - most of the time over nothing. I would say it's been the hardest thing about being pregnant for me.
I also agree with PP to be absolutely sure you are ready right at this moment in time to have a baby when TTC. We were passively trying (no birth control, but not tracking anything) and DH and I thought it would take at least a year - it did for all of our other friends. It happened the first time we didn't use any BC.
I went in for my first ultrasound the week after he was sick. There was no heartbeat. They said I was 9.5 weeks along but the baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks.
Imagine the guilt.
Now I know that many, many women breastfeed one or two children during pregnancy. I just feel that the combination of my exhaustion and constant nursing played a part in this loss.
The doctor I spoke with told me there was a good chance it was due to the baby being malnourished.
I struggled with this for so long.
I am 12 weeks pregnant now and I did continue to nurse my son, but it was only for a couple of mins before bed, only if he requested. He has stopped requesting.
I feel so blessed to have another opportunity to have a child. Motherhood is so incredible and there is nothing better than being my son's mommy.
Make sure you're both ready! DH and I were trying to conceive last summer, but he wasn't really ready yet, so it was often a struggle and we fought a lot on the days I was ovulating and only had sex a few times a month around ovulation. I was charting like a madwoman, taking ovulation tests, but not getting pregnant. We tried for 3 months and weren't successful, so we decided to take a break.
When both of you are on board to TTC and if you aren't a couple that has sex daily or every other day, it is easier if you both take responsibility for trying. I felt so alone the first time we tried and our relationship suffered, because I was demanding sex. At first I tried initiating in more sexy ways and not mentioning anything about ovulating, but if I got rejected because he wasn't in the mood, it felt like the end of the world if I was ovulating. Eventually, I decided to forgo seduction and was waving a stick in front of him and saying, "WE HAVE TO HAVE SEX NOW".
The second time we started TTC, I showed him my phone app, so he could check my most fertile days which were highlighted on the calendar. Without me pressuring him to have sex, we were able to relax and have fun with it. We had sex every other day during my fertile window (3 days before ovulation-1 day past ovulation) and got pregnant the second month we tried.
I know this won't work for everyone as some guys are grossed out by women's menstrual periods, etc. but it worked better for me, especially when sex needs to be more "his idea". Some guys who have never had performance anxiety issues may develop them when TTC.
I wish I would have known about morning sickness, I knew it was bad, just not this bad! It's constant nausea day and night, to the point I want to throw up, just to see if it brings relief!
And about your teeth and gums...Although now i finally understand why we get free dental care until baby is 1.
Baby #2 was a long and painful road with previous losses and intense sickness this time. Hopefully all is well going forward though.
Also, I personally, found the ovulation kits to be a pain and not very helpful. It was only when I threw my hands up and decided not to try that one day it just happened. I can understand why people will take those steps if they need to, but I would advise that it's a lot more fun to just have a go at it without thinking baby or not and see. So if all is well maybe try not to worry so much at first?
It can take longer than you think. 12 months is NORMAL. Also, sometimes things are wrong and you don’t get pregnant like you thought you would. This is true even if you already had a child. Secondary infertility is a real thing.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Ella Rose
1/17/15 born via IVF w/ ICSI
Spontaneous Twins!
Due January 2016
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2. I wish I knew how much unsolicited advice I would receive.
3. I wish I knew how difficult it would be to find a job and how guilty I would feel "hiding" the fact that I was pregnant during interviews.
4. I wish I knew how exhausting pregnancy would be (I already knew it's different for everyone, but you never know how you're going to be until you finally get knocked up!).
5. I wish I knew more about weight gain-I knew I would gain weight, I just didn't know how fast I would gain it! I was a runner before I got pregnant... I've been running a lot less since I my BFP because I've been too physically exhausted to run (which is probably contributing to my rapid weight gain).
That's all. :-)