STM's: Where was your first child or previous children when you delivered?
We don't have any nearby family and all of our friends work. We found out today that our hospital lets you bring in your own children, no other children under 12 can visit, but we don't know logistically how it would work to have our first child with us during the delivery.
Of course it all depends on tons of factors, like what day of the week or time of day or whatnot to see if any friends could help, but since my husband wants to be in the delivery room and we may have no other options but for our daughter to be there, does anyone have experience or advice on this?
Re: STMs: Where was your child?
We left our son with my dad during the delivery and then my husband went back home to be with him. I felt fine being alone most of my recovery time in the hospital so my husband could be home because I was more worried about our son! He was only 16 months old and I really didn't want him to come to the hospital, not to mention it was an hour away from home.
This time we will most likely not be able to count on any family or friends for a number of reasons, so we are hoping that one of the babysitters the kids are used to will be available... Or, if we're really lucky I will go into labor late in the morning and be done by early afternoon while the kids are in daycare! luckily, the hospital is ten minutes away so my husband could be back and forth much more easily.
We have no family close by. A family
friend was "on call" for us but she was a 5 to 6hr drive away. As backup we also had our babysitter and a mom in my mom's group.
TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!! Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui)
#1 born December 2011
TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
#2 born May 2013
TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
#3 born August 2015
#4!!!!!!! due June 2017
Our family is all several hours away, but I had a scheduled induction so we were able to plan for my parents to be here with DD1. They stayed with her at our house, kept with her routine, and brought her up to visit us and meet her sister the day after the baby was born. We will do the same this time around.
If by some chance I had gone into labor early, or do this time, we have some good friends who can watch the girls until my parents can get here. If we really ended up in a pinch and those friends couldn't take them, we have a few families from our church we could call.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
I brought DD1 over to a friend's house the night that I went to the hospital. She stayed there until after her afternoon nap. DH picked her up at that point and she came to visit me in the hospital.
If your family can't come watch your LO, then you need to look into other childcare options. Sittercity and care.com are good ways to find care givers. I'd find at least two that you like and use them on occasion, so your LO becomes familiar with them. I would avoid bring your LO to the hospital at all costs.
My mom came and stayed at our house to be with DD when I was having #2. I didn't want her to be at a different house and be without us. It worked out really well. She barely knew we were gone! My DS had to go to the NICU and we were gone for 3 days total until he became stable enough for us to leave him. My mom stayed the whole time with DD and we didn't see her that whole time. Looking back it was the perfect situation.
There's no way we could have ever brought our DD to the hospital. DS was born at 10:24pm, she would have miserable! And he had unexpected issues that needed immediate attention. That's all stuff we didn't take into account at 1st until it actually happened. I'd absolutely find someone to watch your LO and wouldn't not bring LO to the hospital.
My sister brought her 3 year old into the labor room, but she had other people at the hospital who could watch the 3 year old. It would be very difficult for your DH to watch your 2 year old while attending to you during active labor.
I'm a STM but I laboured and delivered as a FTM; therefore I gambled on it being a loooong labour/delivery and asked one of the grandmas to come and watch DD1 when I went to the hospital. She lives 3 hours away.
FI and I were not comfortable with the idea of having a teething, clingy, 18 month old in the delivery room.
We just had our second a month ago and also have absolutely no family nearby. We had a RCS, but our delivery date was always up in the air because of various medical factors. We lined up someone for each potential delivery date. When we finally got our official surgery date, our babysitter actually cancelled on us the day before we delivered (talk about ridiculously stressed out), but luckily had my best friend drive in from out of state to help in the pinch. He was able to stay with DD at our house through delivery so that DH could be there, but once I was in recovery, DH went back home to be with DD. I recovered in the hospital alone which actually worked out just fine. I used the nurses for a lot of help and was able to walk early, heal early, and leave early. I think being alone motivated me to get out of there faster!
As far as having your LO there for delivery just keep in mind it might be good to have someone there to watch her in the waiting room in the event she gets restless, doesn't like seeing you hooked up to various IVs, or in the event that you end up having to have a c/s because she won't be allowed in the OR.
It definitely stinks not having family on hand nearby to help out, but I'd plan far ahead for various scenarios to happen because you never know!
This is pretty much our plan, I am expecting to be scheduled for delivery around 38 weeks, if I get to that date, my parents will come over from England to look after DS1, if baby gets here early I have a friend who is happy to look after DS1 until they can get here (they will be coming on the first flight over if this happens). I actually have a couple of friends who have volunteered, so if something happens I know it will be OK, I feel so lucky that I have such good friends.
Also, once the baby is born DH will be going back and forth from the hospital to help look after DS1, so unless it is a really long labour (this is unlikely as it is pretty likely I will be a RCS) there shouldn't be too much time in between going to the hospital and DH being able to go get DS1.
BFP 5/21/10, Missed m/c 7/5/10 at 11w3d (baby measured 7wks), D&C 7/7/10
Aug/Sept 2010 - CD3&10 b/w & u/s, genetic testing, SA, HSG, & Lap/Hyst to remove septum
12/09/10 BFP -- 7/05/11 DS born at 33w5d. Came home after 23d in NICU at 37w0d
June 2012 - TTC #2! -- 10/05/12 BFP -- 5/23/13 DS2 born at 37w1d! Yay full term!
Surprise BFP 6/25/14 LO#3 due Feb2015!
I spent most of the time in the hospital by myself - DH took off work and watched DD1. Really, I didn't mind. It would have broken my heart knowing DD1 was with someone she didn't know and probably bawling her eyes out because she didn't understand.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence