The saga continues. DH and I haven't responded to anything. His grandma is now firing away, saying that I am tearing the family apart because WE (DH and I) only want immediate family at the hospital. She also threw in a few choice words about how she "feels" about his choice in a wife. Really, lady? We are two weeks away from having a baby (who you claim you want to see) and you choose right now to do this? Tactful.
They are making a case of why they should be present right after the birth...blah blah. This is getting exhausting. Like I said, we are responding to nothing as this is ridiculous and requires no further explanation from us.
I guess I will never understand why others feel the need to make situations all about them. Weddings, births... all of it. We invited you to come over after we are home and settled. We want minimal visitors in the hospital. That's ALL we had to say- but we went a step further and told you why. VERY POLITELY.
His family saying awful things about us and trying to make a "case" for themselves is ridiculous. And annoying. Especially when my extended family was extremely supportive.
Sorry for the constant drama about this- Again, it wasn't an issue we felt we should share with my family or our friends. We didn't think that their involvement would help the situation. I had to tell SOMEONE so I came here.
Happy Sunday!
Re: Nasty emails...3rd update
We aren't sure. We don't really want to especially after saying the things they've said about everything. If we did, it wouldn't be alone. We would have a large get together with neutral parties and tell them about it. Even that is a a stretch for us right now.
Dude, just block that shiit. Seriously, don't even entertain it. Create rules for your email and just don't deal with that crap. Cut them off and stop entertaining the bullshyt.
No one has a right to your kid except you and your husband. After that, if they are acting like douchenozzles just tell the medical staff and security they are not allowed in. No phone calls, texts, or emails. Just have all that shiit blocked. Really, at this point its just going to affect your happiness levels. You don't want that with a newborn. Soak up the time in a happy glow. Eff the haters and the drama mongers. This is YOUR time with your family. You have control over what energy you let in.
Cure yourself of the bullshyt. Cut that crap off.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This is amazing Thanks.
Agreed. 100%.
This whole thing has been very unfortunate. You are finding out what kind of people they can really be and this is a terrible time for something like this. No time is good, but the fact that you're bringing a LO into the world and your family wants to act like this..
Just keep doing what you are doing, although I do agree with PrimRose that you need to block them now. Block emails, texts and even phone numbers.
Whatever you do, do not back down. That would only teach them that when they insult and belittle you, they will get whatever they want and they will continue to behave like this in the future.
I would also give serious consideration to cutting these people off forever. I learned some pretty important life lessons from my parents about what NOT to do. I had a stepgma that was just horrible to all of my family ( including us kids) and my parents did nothing about it. I swore I would never let that happen to me. You treat me like sh*t, you are out of our lives. End of story. I know all to well what happens when you don't stand up for yourself and the impact it has on your children.
I've read your other posts and I think this is a great decision. If family members treated DH and I this way, they would never get to see my kids. And never step foot in my house.
If I remember correctly, this is your DH aunt and gma..correct? Where is DH Mom/Dad? Are they involved at all? I am estranged from an aunt and gma and you can bet that my dad tells them to knock it off whenever they start pulling crap involving me.
Yes this is dh's grandma and aunt on his "dad's" side.
His mom and dad got a divorce when he was 6 months old. She moved back to her home state with he and his brother, and his dad completely cut them off. He didn't meet his dad until he was in 7th grade. His dad's parents lived back in the home state and kept a relationship with dh and his brother. So that's who this is. His dad's mom and sister.
Dh's mom lives thirty minutes away and has zero contact with this side of the family. She has her little quirks, but she would never do this.
I would echo everyone else, not host them in your home and consider cutting off contact with them. Their true colors are coming out.
In my situation, my gma and aunt said some really bad things about my husband, even though they had only met him 2x. It totally had to do w/me moving 2000 miles away from them and they were having a hard time dealing with it. It was a very easy decision to cut them out completely. GL to you!
^This. I especially would not want these people around my child. Because you KNOW, whether or not you have a large group of people there, that someone will say something about them not being at the hospital and it'll be awkward and ridiculous.
I wouldn't have them at my house until they apologize. Hopefully none of these people have your address, because if it were me and they showed up to my house, they wouldn't be getting in. Period.
I also agree with the PP that said to just block them period. Let everyone at the hospital know their names and that they are absolutely under NO circumstances allowed to see your child.
How lame.
Edit: I asked about what his siblings/parents think about what's going on. I realized that it doesn't matter.
Good! Like that saying goes.. "Ain't nobody got time for that!!!" Lol. Seriously, you don't need them or their crap. Don't feel bad about cutting off contact. Not even a little. I read your first post and your email was nothing but nice! They're being immature and therefore don't deserve your time.
OOOOOH! I want to get my way and convince X and Y to let me see the baby... The best possible way to do that is to rip into them! ...
said no intelligent person... ever
I give you so much credit for holding your ground. You'll be a great mom!!
There would be a small part of me that would let Gma come to the hospital... but I would make sure she fully regretted that decision. Maybe start by having the nurses tell her that the baby needs to be in the nursery the whole time that she is there. Throw up on her shoes. Maybe event get some postpartum nastiness on her when you give her a hug. Then... just cry/wail the whole time so that she can't even hear herself think.
Not my actual suggestion, but pregnancy has made me evil.
Sounds like there's a reason why your DH's mom has no contact! His dad sounds like a real peach, and he didn't fall far from the tree!
Good for you guys for cutting them off. Maaaaaaybe they'll learn that throwing a fit and trying to bully you gets them the exact opposite of what they're after (unlikely, but you can dream!) but at the very least you don't need their negativity! Here's hoping that they cause no further drama or stress!