I've noticed a lot of people on this board are just as obsessed with finding a nickname as they are a real name. I'm having trouble phrasing this... hmm. A few years ago I worked at a preschool and we had twins named Joseph & Caroline, when they first started with us they were 1 and went by nicknames, Jojo and Kay-Kay, as given to us by their parents. When they entered my 3 year old class, the mother was adamant we not call Caroline Kay-Kay anymore because she thought it was confusing her as to what her name actually was. She had no concern for Jojo though. And now at my current preschool, I have a David in my class that has been listening to his nickname, Bubba, for so long that he didn't even respond to his real name at all until I would only call him David, it took about a month for him to realize I was always speaking to him when I said David.
I also have a few parents who have made it clear we not call their children (Samuel & Joshua, examples) as anything but their full first names. And when I was little my aunt refused to let people call my cousin Cait, short for Caitlyn.
So, do you think it would ever be concerning to you that your or someone elses child could be confused as to what their real name was or would it just be something they grew out of as they got older?
I don't know if I'm making sense, just wondering what other people think about all the nickname craziness, I guess.
Re: A nicknaming question.
So for the most part, I'm with the "Name your child want you want to call them" unless it's something ridiculous like "Booboo"
But the rational makes sense to me completely nicknames are a good way to shorten long names with children especially when they're learning to write and spell and just be kids. They always will have an option later to go by another nickname or more formal name. But I do think it's ok for it to happen naturally and not force the issue. If kid goes by Bubba, there's no reason to call him his formal name unless they request it.
I know a family who really struggled with this. They have 2 kids, a daughter and a son who is just a year younger than his big sis.
When big sis was one and he was a baby, she called him "Bubby." The parents thought it was cute, and Jonathan was exclusively called Bubby from birth until he was ready to start kindergarten. He sort of knew that his name was actually Jonathan, but he didn't answer to Jonathan.
The 4s preschool teacher asked the parents at conferences if they intended to continue using "Bubby" in elementary school. When they thought about it, they realized that, although they still liked the nickname, t would be unfair to send him to elementary school as Bubby -- and that it would be a heck of a lot easier to make the switch before he started kindergarten than during elementary school!
My own son's name is Timothy. On paper he's always Timothy. He writes "Timothy" on his school papers. When we meet new people, we always introduce him as Timothy. At home, we shorten it sometimes to "Tim." As friends, teachers, and coaches are around him, they come to learn that he also responds to "Tim" and they will use it sometimes as well.
I COMPLETELY agree! I hate nicknames, and I purposely chose a name for my daughter that didn't have an obvious one. I have a name that is like the Katherine/Katie example, and it caused me a lot of annoyance over the years. I was really shy in school, and I dreaded people asking me which I preferred. Also, as I teacher, I find it annoying to go through the roll at the beginning of the year and have it sound like this:
Nicholas?
I go by Nico.
Jennifer?
I go by Jennie.
Stephen?
I go by my middle name, Connor.
ETC., ETC.
It makes learning 120 names into learning 240.
I only like naming a child what you are going to call them but I have a similar story. My parents were calling my sister "Bobo" or something like that. I can't remember exactly what it was and one day my mum called her by her name, Karen. I think she was 2ish and she said " I not Karen, I bobo" from the on my parents started calling her by her name haha! I think it can be really confusing to kids.
I really don't get naming your kid something like Annabelle but always calling them Anna, since Anna is a name in itself or Charlotte nn Charlie (it is the same length!) Idk that's just my opinion. Adelaide nn Addy makes more sense because imo Addy isn't a formal fn
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." Maya Angelou
~ Auntie to L: 2013 and Peanut: EDD 11/2014 ~
DD is named after DH`s grandmothers. Her name is Katherine Hazel. We call her Katie and always planned to. I think that as a full name, her grown up name is better. I also didn't want people to call her Kathy. We are teaching her what her name is and most of the time she tells you her name is Katie but every once in a while she says Katherine. I am a teacher too and I still don't care about nicknames.
Yeah. I'm big into avoiding nicknames. I named DD1 Natalie and she goes by Natalie. DD2 will be Caroline. I briefly pondered "Cari"... but no. It's Caroline, period.
I can take or leave nn. It's not a big deal to me.
Sometimes people worry too much about a nn. They stress over something that is supposed to be a pet name, an enduring name given by family.
My son has a nn that has nothing to do with the name I gave him.
That being said I have taken some names off the table because I did not lilke potential nn's for one reason or another.
Agree with this, 100%
I hated this too. Eventually I got sick of correcting everybody and decided to switch to my "formal" name in college. I also didn't like being stuck with a cutesy nn as an adult. Getting family and friends who were used to calling me my nn to switch was difficult and most still call me my nn, which I don't really like but it's hard to switch names at adulthood, you can't control what others choose to call you.
What I've observed from people I know is that it seems like most friends who didn't have a nickname growing up give their kids one and those who did do not give their kids one. We both had nns but our kids go by their full names. I guess the grass is greener ...
I prefer Nellie to Penny for 2 but not as badly as with 1.
DH really wanted them to have an adult name. It's all about options for us.
I think this is true.
I always hated the fact that my name (Kelly) didn't really have much in the way of nicknames. That's one of the reasons we named our daughter something that could be shortened. Right now we call her Emmy as much as we call her Emilia. I'm not too worried about her not knowing her given name. I think she'll figure it out pretty quickly. I have an ex whose family called him Bubba his entire life. He always knew his real name was Brian. It wasn't a big deal.
I'm also a teacher. I always ask my students when I meet them what they prefer to be called, and I make a note of it. That isn't a big deal either.
I have also been a preschool teacher and have never had a kid so confused by a nickname. Every kid I knew has always responded to both. We commonly call my DD2 a nickname that has nothing to do with her given name really but by 2 years old she could tell you what her real name was and responded to either one. She'll even respond to just her middle name. My student called Sebby also responded to Sebastian without issue.
On the flip side I am avoiding names that have obvious nicknames that I dislike because I don't want to be "that" parent and when the kid is older they might choose to go by it. For example, I won't consider any boy name beginning in Al--, Or Jo--.
This is my take on nn's too (generally. There are always exceptions). This is why I find it a bit obnoxious when people I barely know shorten my son's name (Nathaniel). Of course, it would be different if I introduced my son as "Nate," but if I introduce him as Nathaniel, then random-person-we-just-met needs to respect that.
I'm going to use "Elizabeth" instead of my real name, but it works just as well:
My parents named me Elizabeth because they liked the name Liz. They had always planned on calling my Liz and not Elizabeth, but didn't think they should give me a nickname as a name. As a child, they called me Lizzie. I knew my name was Elizabeth/Liz/Lizzie and never had any issues.
1. Growing up I was pretty shy and hated when I met someone who may/may not go by a nn. For example, a Jennifer whose close friends/family called her Jen. I just met you, do I call you Jennifer when everyone else is calling you Jen? Is that your preferred name or would I be overstepping like Nathaniel's mom feels about calling him Nate?
2. I don't remember ever being confused by my nickname or even introducing myself by it. Only my family called me that, and really only my Mother's side of the family. But my siblings will still call me that and are teaching it to their kids. My nephew introduced me to his teacher as Aunt Lolli and I was so caught off guard by it that I felt the need to explain to her that my parents didn't put Lolli on my birth certificate and that I had a "real" name.
3. I was in a prego fitness class and we were discussing names and this lady mentioned that she didn't like names with nicknames that started with a different letter. I asked for an example and when she said Robert/Bob, I realized that I was married to someone like that, a William/Billy/Bill. It does make me second guess any type of monogram because he now always goes by Bill, except from his family, my next point, and my maiden name starts with a W so when I look at a couple's monogram, to me it just looks like my initials instead of ours.
4. My husband grew up as Billy to his family. At some point, he tried to go by William, his "real" name, and ended up being called Billiam for a few years. So, he was Billy in elementary, Billiam in middle school, and Bill in high school and thereafter. It still weirds me out to hear his family call him Billy most of the time because the rest of the world calls him Bill.
This.
We name our kids what we want to call them and what we want others to call them. That said we are aparently nickname people/name shorteners so a lot of times when DS was a baby Martijn turned into Tijn-Tijn and now a days he gets call Tijn pretty often by us. We also use his full name and he also gets refered to as Budy. I would never introduce him or have anyone else call him anything but Martijn though. It has worked the same for DD. They are more terms of endearment than names imo and it wasn't soemthing we thought about ahead of time it just happened.
Where we live it is pretty common to name the child something and have them go by a completly different name. It is wierd. Like you name them John Smith and then you put on the birth announcement that there name is John Smith but they will be called Liam. It isn't even their middle name or anything. Wierd!
I am Alexandra and I've always been Alexandra. Not Lexi, Allie, Alex, etc, but I've spent my whole life explaining to people. I always get asked what I go by and when I say Alexandra it's like they can't comprehend
I agree with a pop. My name is only 3 letters, not a lot of reason to shorten it, so I'd like for my child to have options as she grows up. She can choose what she likes.
Our DD has an uncommon first name and common middle, and she goes by the fn only. I wouldn't want her to deal with all the hassle and questions that I did.
When choosing a name I'll consider nicknames, as in names that they may be called by their peers, or could choose if they decide they don't like their given name. But, it's still just something I'd use at home.