The genitalia post has me thinking. Is there an age limit for your children to see you naked? Does it matter what the sex of the child is? For us, H is very uncomfortable with my daughter seeing him naked or even in his underwear. But that is just because she's a girl. He said that he wouldn't feel that way if she was a boy. He doesn't think it's weird that I walk around naked in front of our daughter.
On the other hand, my nephew is 5 and my sister walks around naked in front of him. My H also said that his aunt would walk around topless around him and his cousin when they were in their teens. I thought that was weird.
I've never seen my father naked but I still see my mother naked. I guess there is no age limit when the sex is the same, but maybe after 2 or 3 when they can recognize differences should be a difference when the sexes are different.
Re: Seeing Parents Naked
Did they talk about the sex of the parents vs the child? Or did it not matter in the study?
I'm a private person, and so is FI (even more so than I am). We each have a girl. Even so, when my DD was little, she very rarely saw me completely naked. I tried taking a bath with her when she was a couple months old, and even that was really awkward for me, I never did it again. Even though she nursed til she was 2 1/2, I don't like flashing my boobs at her, and if we are changing in the same room together, I will turn my back, and will step behind the bed to change my underwear.
It's not that I'm ashamed; I was in the Army for 14 years, I've showered with my share of women without shame, but I never recall having seen my own mother naked; it was not a normalcy in our household, and still isn't.
We're still working with DS on the whole "naked privacy" thing. So at 4yrs old, he still sees me naked when I'm getting in/out of the shower and he comes into the bathroom (we only have one bathroom), and he will sometimes sit and wait for me to potty in the morning (we walk downstairs together every morning). He's started to notice the differences between girls and boys though, so at some point this year we'll really start to limit his exposure to me. But I get dressed alone in my room, and I don't purposely get naked in front of him. But I don't act ashamed or hide if he walks in on me, either.
However, we're having a girl this time, so I know DS will see her naked for a while. It throws a new kink into the whole nakedness issue... is it different if they are siblings, with a bigger age gap (mine will be 4yrs apart)? And no idea how we'll handle it with DD and DH.
For now, we're trying to approach it like it's no big deal. If we don't make a big production out of it, and treat bodies like it's natural, DS and DD shouldn't be TOO scarred Especially as I breastfeed, etc... DS is going to be introduced into a whole new world
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I have thought about this as well, since DS is 4 1/2 and I am not sure when it's no longer appropriate or what we will do. As it is right now, DS sees me naked pretty often like if he is hanging out in the bathroom while I shower and MH isn't home (we work opposite shifts), or I'm getting dressed/ready for church, going to the bathroom or if I take him swimming at the Y. (this one especially, is unavoidable as boys aren't allowed in the women's locker room so we have to go in the family room and obviously he sees me getting in and out of my suit)
He's never really made a big deal out of it or cared much. He has noticed that girls have different genitalia (he says that girls sit down to pee because they don't have things coming out of them, or that girls have a line) but beyond that it's just NBD to him.
I know though, that eventually it won't be appropriate for him to see mommy naked, and I don't want him to think it's really NBD forever because obviously he needs to know to respect other's privacy when it comes to nudity as well as protecting his own around non-family members etc.
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
Married: 6/27/2008
DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
M/C 6/2012
DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
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M/C 12/12/2016
BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
EDD: 7/2/2018
I only have a dd, so take this for what it's worth. If this baby is a boy, things will probably be a little different.
DD is 6. I'm okay changing in front of her, showing with her (doesn't happen often) or what have you. We're generally not a "walk around naked" family, either, but I sleep in a t-shirt and undies and will go wake her up in the morning before I get completely dressed.
I'm pretty sure she's never seen dh naked, but he does hang out in (baggy) long-johns quite often.
If #2 is a boy, I'll likely be much more modest as he gets older - probably starting around 2yo. And I'll probably buy a robe.
I'm kind of in the same boat as you concerning our own parents, although I have seen my father naked (and try to repress it all the time LOL). The last few years has made my mother cover herself up more, though, in running from the bathroom to her room or vice versa. I think it'd be weird being naked in front of my (potential) son(s) after they hit 3 years or so, and girls I meh at. Ladies are ladies, and I want my daughters comfortable in their own skin and able to express themselves as needed (NOT HALF NAKED GOING TO SCHOOL /slap). More so in the line of asking questions and such. I'm honestly not sure how FI feels about this (we're expecting a girl). Never hit me to ask him.
Oooo! That would make sense in my house growing up
My DH has never stood completely naked in front of our daughter. Although he'll sit on the toilet in front of her. But if she does come barreling in the room while he's putting on underwear, he calmly turns around without making a big deal about it. He is uncomfortable showing her everything.
Me, I'm naked all the time around my daughter. Because I'm pregnant, I sit in the bath with her to bathe her b/c it's so much easier on my back. I saw my mom naked all of the time, and probably still would have no problem going into the bathroom if mom were taking a bath or something and vice versa.
My parents made me be more modest about being naked when I hit puberty... at least around my dad.
I grew up with a sister and have a daughter so when my son is born I'll have a better idea of what I'm comfortable with as far as mother/son because I've never seen that dynamic. As a baby/toddler, I don't think it's an issue at all.
I agree NOT making a big fuss about it and starting dialogue about body parts at a young age so the topic is a comfortable one for all members of the family. There is nothing to be ashamed of in terms of body parts. I think we all just have personal preferences and levels of what we are comfortable with.
I showered regularly with DS until 2. There was no way for me to get a shower in otherwise. Since then only on the odd occasion. He still follows me into the bathroom and sneaks in when I'm changing. I don't wander around naked, and I'm trying to teach him "private spaces", but I don't freak out if he sees me naked for a few seconds. He has seen me naked more often than he's seen DH. I would like him to see DH naked more now so DH can teach him how to pee standing up, and how to care for his penis etc.
Now that he's approaching 3 I'm becoming more private and trying to teach him that sometimes we need privacy. With this little girl I'll probably do about the same only reverse because it's important I teach her about her parts.
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I don't think age as so much to do with it as your comfort level - and your kid's.
DH and I don't try to hide from our kids when we get dressed, and if they ask to shower with us, we see no reason to say "no". If it becomes weird at some point, then we'll reevaluate, but we're not there yet.
I remember MIL nearly choked last year when she called and I told her DH couldn't come to the phone because he was in the tub with the girls (DD1 was 2). I wonder what she'd think if I told her he still does it.
I am very modest and so is DH. It's funny- both of our mothers aren't very modest. His mother is from Europe and will sun bathe topless in front of her whole family. My mom had 5 siblings and they shared one bathroom so she seems to have no issue with nudity.
DD hasn't seen either myself or DH completely naked. I will change with her in the room but I may turn my back if I am changing my bra. DH will change his pants and shirt but never underwear with her in the room.
As for showering I don't really see why she needs to come into the bathroom with me for that. She plays w/ DH or watches TV and I shower. I do let her come into the bathroom while I am peeing but that is mainly so she gets an understanding of what she should be doing while we are potty training.
My son is usually by my side so he has seen me change or going to the bathroom. He has showered with me before but now that he is a little older I just leave the bathroom door open and hurry through it. Generally he'll sit in the bathroom and talk to me or hit the shower curtain to scare me and I make it a game. I try to wait until H is around to watch him though. Occasionally he will still get in the shower with me and play while I clean up and then I will wash him off and we're done. I pass it off as nbd for the time being. But generally underwear and bra are on at the least.
H on the other hand is uncomfortable with any kind of nakedness in general and at most won't wear a shirt for a minute or two.
When I was growing up it was the same way with my mom. Just never a big deal. It was just as normal as seeing her wear clothes.
I mean its nude appropriate situations, and not like you're sizzling your naked bits at the stove making bacon for Sunday breakfast for the fam or deep cleaning the house "party boy" style.
Sorry I'm seeing this so late. They made it sound like it was both sexes but I was just listening on the radio and didn't actually read the study so it's hard to know.
In our home we have a big mix of boys and girls. The girls change with the girls and the boys change with the boys. I've seen my mom naked usually b/c we'd both be getting ready for something together or helping one other get ready for a special occasion. I have 2 younger sisters (4,8) and two younger brothers (9,12). My sisters have seen me naked and even walked in on me in the potty, it doesn't bother me non b/c we both have the same parts and there is nothing for either of us to be ashamed about. My four year old sister insists on coming in the bathroom to start a conversation with me lol potty time actually helped her go to the bathroom on her own b/c she saw what a big girl sister was for going potty on her own and my little sisters look up to me. The only time I don't allow my sisters in the bathroom anymore is when I am on my period lol My little sister walked in on me changing my tampon and asked "is that in your butt"....O.O...."ummm, no, go ask mom" lol lets just say I was embarrassed, but after things were explained to her (she's very bright and understanding) I could laugh it off. Also seeing me change my 8 year old sister insisted that my mother buy her a bra to cover her boobs b/c I wear one lol my mom did and now she teases that my little sister and I wear the same bra size (mind you my little sister hasn't hit puberty so there is nothing there) but that is just my family.
whoops...i wrote this on a different wall sorry....
Ahahaha I laughed at is that your butt?