April 2013 Moms

Seeing Parents Naked

The genitalia post has me thinking.  Is there an age limit for your children to see you naked?  Does it matter what the sex of the child is?  For us, H is very uncomfortable with my daughter seeing him naked or even in his underwear.  But that is just because she's a girl.  He said that he wouldn't feel that way if she was a boy.  He doesn't think it's weird that I walk around naked in front of our daughter. 

On the other hand, my nephew is 5 and my sister walks around naked in front of him.  My H also said that his aunt would walk around topless around him and his cousin when they were in their teens.  I thought that was weird.

I've never seen my father naked but I still see my mother naked.  I guess there is no age limit when the sex is the same, but maybe after 2 or 3 when they can recognize differences should be a difference when the sexes are different. 

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Seeing Parents Naked

  • I don't have much to say on this because I'm not sure what we're going to do in this situation but I was just listening to the radio where they were quoting a 10 year study on this topic. They found that children that were exposed to normal nudity (getting in and out of the shower, getting dressed etc) were healthier in most areas of life. I thought that was pretty interesting. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • We are generally not a "walk around naked" type of family, but once a child is old enough to tell others - like a teacher, etc that he/she saw Daddy's parts - I think that would be too old.  We don't need that going around and being misinterpreted. So i agree 2-3.


    BabyFruit Ticker



    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • imagenyki06:
    I don't have much to say on this because I'm not sure what we're going to do in this situation but I was just listening to the radio where they were quoting a 10 year study on this topic. They found that children that were exposed to normal nudity (getting in and out of the shower, getting dressed etc) were healthier in most areas of life. I thought that was pretty interesting. 

    Did they talk about the sex of the parents vs the child? Or did it not matter in the study?

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I'm a private person, and so is FI (even more so than I am). We each have a girl. Even so, when my DD was little, she very rarely saw me completely naked. I tried taking a bath with her when she was a couple months old, and even that was really awkward for me, I never did it again. Even though she nursed til she was 2 1/2, I don't like flashing my boobs at her, and if we are changing in the same room together, I will turn my back, and will step behind the bed to change my underwear.

    It's not that I'm ashamed; I was in the Army for 14 years, I've showered with my share of women without shame, but I never recall having seen my own mother naked; it was not a normalcy in our household, and still isn't.

    OMG too many tickers...
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • We're still working with DS on the whole "naked privacy" thing. So at 4yrs old, he still sees me naked when I'm getting in/out of the shower and he comes into the bathroom (we only have one bathroom), and he will sometimes sit and wait for me to potty in the morning (we walk downstairs together every morning). He's started to notice the differences between girls and boys though, so at some point this year we'll really start to limit his exposure to me. But I get dressed alone in my room, and I don't purposely get naked in front of him. But I don't act ashamed or hide if he walks in on me, either.

    However, we're having a girl this time, so I know DS will see her naked for a while. It throws a new kink into the whole nakedness issue... is it different if they are siblings, with a bigger age gap (mine will be 4yrs apart)? And no idea how we'll handle it with DD and DH.

    For now, we're trying to approach it like it's no big deal. If we don't make a big production out of it, and treat bodies like it's natural, DS and DD shouldn't be TOO scarred ;) Especially as I breastfeed, etc... DS is going to be introduced into a whole new world ;)

    carrie ~ me-at-carrie.cc ~ 4/21/2007
    * blog * first baby blog * baby 2.0 blog * twitter *

    image

    IMG_0578

    image
  • I second Pp about once the child is old enough to talk about it; both my own daughter and my friend's son had innocent stories taken wrong. I agree that normal nudity, getting dressed, showering, for either age is fine until 3 or 4, and then after that it really depends on the child's interest or reaction. I think some exposure is important to ensure your child is comfortable with showing you their body if something is wrong. My son had an ant bite on his penis that made it swell something awful at age 8 that would have been even tougher if we hadn't established why and when it is ok for parents to see privates. I guess that doesn't mean they have to see you naked. Yea, we are pretty much careful to have underwear on after about age 4, and I cover my bra area even with a bra on and my hiney, in front of my boys, but they are modest and get embarrassed, some boys wouldn't care.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I think when the sex is the same it doesn't matter so much but for me personally I don't want DH walking around our daughter naked past like 1 probably. His underwear are okay but I would just think its weird it he was full blown naked with everything hangin out lol
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Keeping yourself covered doesn't have to be about being ashamed of your body; it's called modesty. I teach my daughter that ladies don't show their butt, or lift their shirts, unless it's to show Mommy if something is wrong (or hurting), or when we are at the doctor's office getting a check-up. When she gets older and has to change for gym class, then we will have another conversation about what's appropriate.
    OMG too many tickers...
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I don't recall every seeing my parents naked.  I am a very conservative person when it comes to that stuff and so is DH.  He feels really uncomfortable letting DD see him naked, so he doesn't.  I also don't like it, but she does see me naked from time to time.  I honestly don't walk around naked ever, so there isn't much of an opportunity...
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I have thought about this as well, since DS is 4 1/2 and I am not sure when it's no longer appropriate or what we will do.  As it is right now, DS sees me naked pretty often like if he is hanging out in the bathroom while I shower and MH isn't home (we work opposite shifts), or I'm getting dressed/ready for church, going to the bathroom or if I take him swimming at the Y. (this one especially, is unavoidable as boys aren't allowed in the women's locker room so we have to go in the family room and obviously he sees me getting in and out of my suit) 

    He's never really made a big deal out of it or cared much.  He has noticed that girls have different genitalia (he says that girls sit down to pee because they don't have things coming out of them, or that girls have a line) but beyond that it's just NBD to him. 

    I know though, that eventually it won't be appropriate for him to see mommy naked, and I don't want him to think it's really NBD forever because obviously he needs to know to respect other's privacy when it comes to nudity as well as protecting his own around non-family members etc.

    Mommy to
    Tyler (10/29/08)
    and Lily (4/21/13)

    image
  • Probably around age 2-3.  I know my brother and I stopped taking baths together when I was about 4-he was 2.5 because we were having the private parts conversation.  I don't think I've seen either of my parents completely naked.  My dad likes to walk around in his underwear, and maybe I've seen my mom from the back naked but not the front.  Not sure if that was intentional, or if I just respected their space.
    image
  • I don't go around the house naked but my daughter does see me change most mornings.  Last week she started asking specific questions about my boobs while I was putting my bra on.  Since then I have gone into the bathroom to put my bra on.  It's not that I don't want her asking me questions, but I don't want her going to daycare and asking the same questions or telling about my boobs!
    image Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Pregnancy Ticker
  • My son knows the difference between boys and girls (he will be 3 next week).  I am home alone with him A LOT and he's always in the bathroom with me, sees me getting dressed, goes shopping with me, etc... and he often showers with me at night (since I go to the gym and it's just easier than bathing him and then showering myself).  He does not even pay attention to me in the shower- he plays legos with his back to me.  He doesn't "touch" me or stare or anything, and is perfectly comfortable in his own skin.  We're not shy about walking from one room to the other naked with him around, but once he seems to start to pay more attention to me being naked, it'll end.  Or if he reaches school-age, whichever comes first.
    Met: 1/21/2005
    Married: 6/27/2008
    DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
    M/C 6/2012
    DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
    BFP: 10/28/2016 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE! 
    M/C 12/12/2016
    BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
    EDD: 7/2/2018


    Babysizer Manly Pregnancy Tracker
  • No nudity here.  I never saw my parents naked, and my only sibling is a male who is 10 years older so I've never seen him naked either.  H is a step-father to my 13 yr old DD so obviously neither he nor she goes around naked.  I don't go naked because I was raised in such a modest, private household.  I did take DD into the shower with me when she was 2 and under, mostly after we'd been swimming and we were just getting in to rinse off.  But, she hasn't seen me naked since then.  DD's father stopped going naked in front of her when she came home and told me that he had a "tail".  So I agree with the PP's who said that once they're old enough to notice and talk about it that it's time to stop.  But, I also know families who were always open, and the mothers went around naked in front of both sons and daughters who were in elementary school and they all turned out just fine.  I think it's a personal preference.  I've just been raised in a very modest way and so that's how I continue to be.  Although, I do wonder if the extreme modesty in my family is why I'm so embarrassed about being naked as an adult, even with H.  I hate that I feel that way sometimes, but I do feel a certain level of shame in nudity.  I don't want my kids to be that way, but I'm not sure how to prevent that other than to try to explain that your body is private, but nothing to be ashamed of??  I don't know.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 


  • I only have a dd, so take this for what it's worth. If this baby is a boy, things will probably be a little different.

    DD is 6. I'm okay changing in front of her, showing with her (doesn't happen often) or what have you. We're generally not a "walk around naked" family, either, but I sleep in a t-shirt and undies and will go wake her up in the morning before I get completely dressed.

    I'm pretty sure she's never seen dh naked, but he does hang out in (baggy) long-johns quite often.

    If #2 is a boy, I'll likely be much more modest as he gets older - probably starting around 2yo. And I'll probably buy a robe. Wink

    Brenda IAmPregnant Ticker BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • imagesherina825:

    The genitalia post has me thinking.  Is there an age limit for your children to see you naked?  Does it matter what the sex of the child is?  For us, H is very uncomfortable with my daughter seeing him naked or even in his underwear.  But that is just because she's a girl.  He said that he wouldn't feel that way if she was a boy.  He doesn't think it's weird that I walk around naked in front of our daughter. 

    On the other hand, my nephew is 5 and my sister walks around naked in front of him.  My H also said that his aunt would walk around topless around him and his cousin when they were in their teens.  I thought that was weird.

    I've never seen my father naked but I still see my mother naked.  I guess there is no age limit when the sex is the same, but maybe after 2 or 3 when they can recognize differences should be a difference when the sexes are different. 

    I'm kind of in the same boat as you concerning our own parents, although I have seen my father naked (and try to repress it all the time LOL). The last few years has made my mother cover herself up more, though, in running from the bathroom to her room or vice versa. I think it'd be weird being naked in front of my (potential) son(s) after they hit 3 years or so, and girls I meh at. Ladies are ladies, and I want my daughters comfortable in their own skin and able to express themselves as needed (NOT HALF NAKED GOING TO SCHOOL /slap). More so in the line of asking questions and such. I'm honestly not sure how FI feels about this (we're expecting a girl). Never hit me to ask him.

  • imagenyki06:
    I don't have much to say on this because I'm not sure what we're going to do in this situation but I was just listening to the radio where they were quoting a 10 year study on this topic. They found that children that were exposed to normal nudity (getting in and out of the shower, getting dressed etc) were healthier in most areas of life. I thought that was pretty interesting. 

    Oooo! That would make sense in my house growing up :)

  • My DH has never stood completely naked in front of our daughter.  Although he'll sit on the toilet in front of her.  But if she does come barreling in the room while he's putting on underwear, he calmly turns around without making a big deal about it.  He is uncomfortable showing her everything.  

    Me, I'm naked all the time around my daughter.  Because I'm pregnant, I sit in the bath with her to bathe her b/c it's so much easier on my back.  I saw my mom naked all of the time, and probably still would have no problem going into the bathroom if mom were taking a bath or something and vice versa.

    My parents made me be more modest about being naked when I hit puberty... at least around my dad.  

    I grew up with a sister and have a daughter so when my son is born I'll have a better idea of what I'm comfortable with as far as mother/son because I've never seen that dynamic.  As a baby/toddler, I don't think it's an issue at all.  

    I agree NOT making a big fuss about it and starting dialogue about body parts at a young age so the topic is a comfortable one for all members of the family.  There is nothing to be ashamed of in terms of body parts.  I think we all just have personal preferences and levels of what we are comfortable with.  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • We are more on the naked end of the spectrum.  DS sees both me and DH getting in and out of the shower, plus getting dressed.  I also think it's good for him to see us using the potty as an example, especially DH.  How else will he learn how the potty is used?  I certainly don't think I want to teach him that our bodies are anything to be ashamed of.  On the other hand, I don't plan to walk around naked in front of him when he's a teenager.  There will be a time I'm sure when it will start to feel like any of us is less comfortable (probably nearer to adolescence) and we'll play that by ear.
    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • I showered regularly with DS until 2. There was no way for me to get a shower in otherwise. Since then only on the odd occasion. He still follows me into the bathroom and sneaks in when I'm changing. I don't wander around naked, and I'm trying to teach him "private spaces", but I don't freak out if he sees me naked for a few seconds. He has seen me naked more often than he's seen DH. I would like him to see DH naked more now so DH can teach him how to pee standing up, and how to care for his penis etc.

    Now that he's approaching 3 I'm becoming more private and trying to teach him that sometimes we need privacy. With this little girl I'll probably do about the same only reverse because it's important I teach her about her parts.  

  • I don't think age as so much to do with it as your comfort level - and your kid's.

    DH and I don't try to hide from our kids when we get dressed, and if they ask to shower with us, we see no reason to say "no". If it becomes weird at some point, then we'll reevaluate, but we're not there yet.

    I remember MIL nearly choked last year when she called and I told her DH couldn't come to the phone because he was in the tub with the girls (DD1 was 2). I wonder what she'd think if I told her he still does it.

     

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickersimage
    imageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Farewell, nesticle, you will be missed
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I am very modest and so is DH. It's funny- both of our mothers aren't very modest. His mother is from Europe and will sun bathe topless in front of her whole family. My mom had 5 siblings and they shared one bathroom so she seems to have no issue with nudity.

    DD hasn't seen either myself or DH completely naked. I will change with her in the room but I may turn my back if I am changing my bra. DH will change his pants and shirt but never underwear with her in the room.

    As for showering I don't really see why she needs to come into the bathroom with me for that. She plays w/ DH or watches TV and I shower. I do let her come into the bathroom while I am peeing but that is mainly so she gets an understanding of what she should be doing while we are potty training.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • Funny story that I thought of regarding this issue. My friend has a son that is now six so this scenario may have happened about 2.5 years ago right after he turned 4. They were on a trip and she took him into the bathroom so they both could use it. He went first and then she did. He looked at her and said, "Mommy, I like your hair pee-pee." DEAD!!!!! I just giggled writing this.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • My son is usually by my side so he has seen me change or going to the bathroom. He has showered with me before but now that he is a little older I just leave the bathroom door open and hurry through it. Generally he'll sit in the bathroom and talk to me or hit the shower curtain to scare me and I make it a game. I try to wait until H is around to watch him though. Occasionally he will still get in the shower with me and play while I clean up and then I will wash him off and we're done. I pass it off as nbd for the time being. But generally underwear and bra are on at the least. 

     H on the other hand is uncomfortable with any kind of nakedness in general and at most won't wear a shirt for a minute or two. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I don't have some fancy opinion to type out, but it's never been a big deal to me. With DH we are private on "junk" nudity though. My DD is now almost 9 and has always seen me in the nude changing, getting ready or even in the shower. No talk or attention has ever been made to it. There's never been a distraction, a giggle, or an awkwardness and there shouldn't be, IMO.

    When I was growing up it was the same way with my mom. Just never a big deal. It was just as normal as seeing her wear clothes.

    I mean its nude appropriate situations, and not like you're sizzling your naked bits at the stove making bacon for Sunday breakfast for the fam or deep cleaning the house "party boy" style.
    DD 4/3/04 & #2 EDD April 21, 2013 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • imagesherina825:

    imagenyki06:
    I don't have much to say on this because I'm not sure what we're going to do in this situation but I was just listening to the radio where they were quoting a 10 year study on this topic. They found that children that were exposed to normal nudity (getting in and out of the shower, getting dressed etc) were healthier in most areas of life. I thought that was pretty interesting. 

    Did they talk about the sex of the parents vs the child? Or did it not matter in the study?

    Sorry I'm seeing this so late. They made it sound like it was both sexes but I was just listening on the radio and didn't actually read the study so it's hard to know.  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • In our home we have a big mix of boys and girls. The girls change with the girls and the boys change with the boys. I've seen my mom naked usually b/c we'd both be getting ready for something together or helping one other get ready for a special occasion. I have 2 younger sisters (4,8) and two younger brothers (9,12). My sisters have seen me naked and even walked in on me in  the potty, it doesn't bother me non b/c we both have the same parts and there is nothing for either of us to be ashamed about. My four year old sister insists on coming in the bathroom to start a conversation with me lol potty time actually helped her go to the bathroom on her own b/c she saw what a big girl sister was for going potty on her own and my little sisters look up to me. The only time I don't allow my sisters in the bathroom anymore is when I am on my period lol My little sister walked in on me changing my tampon and asked "is that in your butt"....O.O...."ummm, no, go ask mom" lol lets just say I was embarrassed, but after things were explained to her (she's very bright and understanding) I could laugh it off. Also seeing me change my 8 year old sister insisted that my mother buy her a bra to cover her boobs b/c I wear one lol my mom did and now she teases that my little sister and I wear the same bra size (mind you my little sister hasn't hit puberty so there is nothing there) :p but that is just my family.

  • whoops...i wrote this on a different wall Embarrassed sorry....

  • wait nevermind...it's on the right one lol I think my mind is starting to play tricks on me :p
  • imageccamp93:
    whoops...i wrote this on a different wall [:] sorry....


    Ahahaha I laughed at is that your butt?
    DD 4/3/04 & #2 EDD April 21, 2013 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"