Hi ladies! This is actually my first time posting here as I honestly never really ventured out of the 1-2 boards I ever use. I felt a strong pull today to go and share my personal success story with some women who might need some encouragement and hope during the tough holiday season. My trials, just to share included a m/c, 3.5 years of "unexplained infertility", several rounds of clomid, 4 failed IUI's, every test under the sun, poked, prodded and pushed some more, and finally, a successful IVF with my precious miracles, twin boys. Anyhow, evidentally my post was taken quite different from how it was intended and I was blasted and accused of bragging. I immediately took the post down because the last thing that I wanted was to cause anyone MORE pain, so out of respect I removed it. It was recommended that this board might be a more suitable place for me so here I am. All day I cant seem to shake the feeling of sadness that I have though. I actually had never shared my story before, and in doing so I went to a very raw place and was quite vulnerable and I guess I am just feeling rejected and hurt. It kind of brought up some old feelings I guess from the years of trials we had faced in trying to start our family. I just feel a little resentful that someone can say I am bragging about a miscarriage and 3.5 years of devestating trials. Yes my story had a happy ending and my only intent was to spread that hope. It was also suggested that I didnt have a "real diagnosis" because mine was "unexplained". In my eyes, any IF diagnosis is a real one and rocks you to the core.
Nevertheless, I am not here for a pity party, but I did want to extend the offer that if anyone wants or needs to hear a success story, please dont hesitate to let me know. I love to encourage and lift others up and when it wasnt received that way I was left with an awful feeling all day. Heres hoping to a better day tomorrow....thanks for having me here and happy holidays to all!
Re: Licking my wounds and intro
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
They were actually very polite considering how much they may have been hurting right now, which we can all sympathize with. You brought up bragging, which was just agreed with after you said. No one called on that first, just simply said it was hurtful. I am sure you meant well, and they realize that too, but they need to be honest about how they feel to protect themselves and the atmosphere/safe space of the IF board.
Anway, congrats on your twins and welcome to SAIF!
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I did not have this happen here on TB, but I did have something similar happen on another board. I once posted on a BIRTH MONTH BOARD (not even an IF board) about how to announce my pregnancy to a friend who had the same diagnosis as I did (DOR) and who we had sort of been going through the journey together. I was only about 8 weeks pregnant at the time.
I then got the most horrible private message from this lady telling me that I had no idea what my friend was going through, that I wasn't really "infertile" because I had gotten pregnant through only Clomid/IUI, that I had no idea what infertility was like and basically I was a horrible person. Not only did this woman already have a child, but this lady also had a DOR diagnosis like myself and my "numbers" (AMH/FSH) were worse than hers. Plus, on top of that, I am a Fragile X premutation carrier (which is what cause my DOR) so I not only had the IF issue, but I then had to worry about whether my child was going to be normal/healthy since there was a chance my unborn child could have had Fragile X--which causes mental retardation and autism. Yet, she was telling me I wasn't really "IF" because I had gotten pg through just Clomid/IUI. Ironically, she ended up being due about a month after me so she was probably pregnant when she was writing me and just didn't know it yet.
Everyday I feel like the fact that my son is healthy and normal (and the fact he was conceived without more serious intervention) is nothing short of a miracle. However, I really hate it when people make "IF" a competition. I think you just have to remember that most people can't see past their own pain. It doesn't necessarily make them bad people...I think it is just human nature. I just always try to remember that everyone has their own struggle/journey. Maybe someone doesn't have trouble TTC or IF, but they may end up with a child with a disability and that is entirely different struggle. Or they may end up having to battle Cancer...or who knows what else. EVERYONE has some struggle at some point in their life. Hugs to you and congrats on your babies!!!
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Hi, I'm a lurker over on this board for the moment (plan to cross over when LO arrives in a few weeks!).
I didnt read your original post, nor did I see what people wrote, but I will tell you that this time last year was a bad spot for me. Getting Christmas cards from friends with their cute little kiddos, dealing with IF, getting ready for IVF, and to top it off the "when are you having kids" seemed to come up more and more. My DH struggled trying to keep me sane when all I wanted for Christmas was to be pregnant.
While you are hurt at their comments, their hearts are breaking that another Christmas is about to come and go and their arms are still empty. They have to put on a happy face at family gatherings and smile at all the kids and parents having a magical time. I know you have been there, but they felt their tiny child free spot was invaded.
Hugs to you and your family and enjoy your miracles as I will enjoy mine in a few short weeks!
Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!!
Congratulations on your twins and welcome to the board!
I have never understood the "testifying" type posts like what you describe you did. Maybe it is a religious difference? Are you an Evangelical? I guess it just seems so foreign to me to go out of my way to tell people I don't know my story or my religion. If it comes up in normal conversation, sure, I'm happy to explain my IF history or my faith in God, but it just seems so unnatural to me as a conversion starter. I honestly don't mean any offense, it is just a theory I have been developing for a while. It is obvious to me that people who make these types of post have good intentions, it just isn't done in the best way/venue.
Anyway, welcome.