I am a horrible mother. 1) I still use Johnson and Johnson products. 2) My 3 month old has seen TV. 3) Occasionally, I bedshare. 4) I use disposable diapers. 5) Sometimes my baby cries for more than 5 minutes. 6) I never sent out birth announcements. 7) I am not sure what my crib mattress is made out of. 8) I have never ordered off of Etsy. 9) I brought my baby out in public from day one. 10) I bathe him every single day WITH soap every time. 11) I do not have an Angel care monitor or video monitor (and to be completely honest, I think that they are a waste of money unless your child has a health condition). I could go on and on. I LOVE the Bump, but sometimes the whole Perfect Parent Syndrome that some people seem to have drives me crazy. I feel that I am doing the best for my child, and this site can really make people feel like they are horrible parents. I will still come back and use this site for the great advice and cyber-friends, but some days the "perfect" people just drive me up a wall. Sorry for the lack of formatting with my iPad. I just needed to vent.
Re: Horrible horrible mother.
Ha... I do most of those things to. But no Etsy... wowser! Love that site.
The most obnoxious thing about baby advice is that it contradicts. Some people would say you're a horrible mother if you DON'T let your baby cry, or that you are if you DON'T bedshare for example.
No matter what you do, somebody thinks you're a horrible mother. So you just have to do what you think is right, try not to trust advice unless the source is actually credible, and smile and say "thanks for the advice" even if you don't intend to take it.
This was a refreshing post :c) And I also agree video monitors are pointless.
The thing is. Not everyone does all these things. You are taking multiple peoples things and putting it into one post
I don't really think there are very many people on here that do ALL of these things.
Also, how is ordering from etsy part of "perfect parent syndrome"? LOL! I've ordered from there for my house. Does that mean I have "perfect house syndrome"?
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I just responded to the 988343 post about J&J. There have been so many the past few days. It is annoying.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I agree that every parent has this, including OP at some point I am sure.
I know for a fact that I have had to learn to get over myself. I try to do what is best for my daughter, and that makes me feel like a good momma, but that doesn't mean parents who disagree with me are bad parents. I'm sure that I still do it from time to time, but I remind myself that it's my job to take care of my daughter and no one else.
This for sure.
I 100% agree with you OP. Good post.
Although I do have an angel care moniter, I got it because we heat with wood and I wanted to make sure his room stayed warm enough for him, so I got it for that reason. However, when DH and I are watching a movie and the warning beeb goes off fo DS I have an unnessasry panic attack. That thing is almost more stressful than it's worth to me!
This is supposed to be tongue in cheek.
This. When I was pg and reading books about baby care, for every book I read that tells you X is the best thing for baby, the next book will tell you exactly why X is horrible. I quickly learned that the only "right" way is whatever works for me and my LO, and not to get hung up on all the different opinions out there.
Great post! I love TB too, but sometimes when I am feeling that way I have to remind myself:
1) I was born in the 80's. 2) My parents smoked in the house. 3) I was formula fed. 4) I was propped up in front of the TV regularly because "I loved Fraggle Rock". 5) I slept on my tummy. 6) I had a crib bumper. 7) Etsy didn't exist. 8) Angle Care monitors and video monitors didn't exist. 9) My mother didn't even use any kind of a monitor. 9) I was bathed every day using... SOAP. 10) I was left with a teenage babysitter at 3 weeks old so my parents could attend a Beach Boys concert...
Yet despite all of this: 1) I was loved 2) I was healthy (ok, I do have asthma and do not condone smoking!) 3) I can now: read, write and heck, graduated with a math degree.
The most important thing I remind myself is that my mother didn't have the internet to compare herself to others! So while it is a fantastic tool, at the end of the day, we do our best and we love our kids!
I do almost all of this as well. I also started solids at 4 months (with pedi's blessing) and let DD nap in her swing. *gasp*
this made me smile
Hey Suzy did you go to James Madison University? Is that the "jmu" part of your screenname?
YOU ARE MY SOULMATE MOM!!! I get SOOOOOOO tired of hearing all the cautions etc of what could/should/should not be done... it's exhausting and makes me wonder when people have time to parent and enjoy their babies. To each his own though! That being said, I know that some people are just wired more cautious and I respect that... I just think that things these days are OVER thoguht.
Me either I'm just not efficient at getting them online! Also looking at your sig I just noticed the family shot, so cute you guys dressed up like a smore! Love it!
WORD.
I love this list. Although I do a couple things that are the opposite of this list--like not bathe every day and do cloth diapers-- that I'm flagged as a terrible mother by older family members. Jeez. Everyone's a critic!
To add to the list, on Halloween I did NOT dress up my 5 month old LO, because I was too busy working/caring for LO/going to family functions and never got a costume.