IF related: I am actually kinda regretting doing TI this cycle. We decided to before we got DH's SA done and they found no sperm. If we had known before hand, we wouldn't have bothered. I am regretting it because I am having a few phantom symptoms that I can usually explain away because of the progesterone or clomid, but we are on a break cycle so I didn;t take either. I know chances are very slim and I hate getting my hopes up for nothing!
NIFR: I am still hating my new job but am afraid to tell my DH because I hated my last one too (and he did too because we had to live on campus for it). I am upset that I am miserable at work, and I just hope as I get more comfortable in the position that I will feel better. Part of it thinks it's me though and my desire to be a SAHM is making me just hate whatever I am doing.
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
I kind of wish I was having ER on Sunday instead of Monday because my mom is going to be around on Sunday and she does a better job of pampering me that my husband does.
Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101 1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
I am jealous of my SIL starting her cycle this week. I am happy for her and hope it all works out, but at the same time I am really blah because we are on hold until finances line up.
April 2013 DE IVF= BFN
September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...
October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C
I don't want to contribute to a baby gift for a co-worker who is going out on leave 35 days ahead of her due date because she is a lazy worker and got a note to avoid having to work.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46 DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!! First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
I love my husband, I really do....but there is a time and place for joking around and when I am bringing up serious conversations, that is not the time nor the place. Especially after I have asked you to stop. Grr.
TTC since 2006
Me: 36 DH: 40
DH dx azoospermia My dx: RA & AMA
d-IUI's--6/10, 7/13 & 8/4: all BFN
d-IVF#1--Lupron/Menopur/Bravelle/Novarel; mini-dose protocol
ER: 10/25--18R; 14F; ET: 10/28--3dt of 2 embies; 3 blasts frozen
+ HPT 11/4; Beta #1--14dp3dt: 441; Beta #2--21dp3dt: 9298
One beautiful jelly bean growing! Saw h/b on 11/28 and 12/5!!!
P/SAIF welcome
<a href="http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b315/mandalinn/?action=view
I don't want to contribute to a baby gift for a co-worker who is going out on leave 35 days ahead of her due date because she is a lazy worker and got a note to avoid having to work.
My state allows you to do that..I think I may do it when the time comes as well..Oh & I'm not flaming you. lol.
04/07/11- PCOS Diagnosis w/GYN. Put on Metformin (1500 mgs) 04/25/11- 1st consultation with RE (Confirmed PCOS & Anovulation) 05/09/11-HSG-All clear! 05/13/11-SA-Normal. Found out on 2/14/12, low Morph (1%). 06/17/11-10 days of Clomid (100, 150) No response. 07/10/11-03/20/12- 5 Injectable (Follistim) IUI cycles; 4 BFN, 1 C/P. (stims ranged from 11 days to 25 days) 05/28/12-Diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. 75 mcg Synthroid.
IVF with ICSI in June/July 2013 = BFP!. Beta # 1 = 123. Beta # 2 = 252. Due March 25th. Baby boy arrived March 27, 2013!
FET #1 - 10/4/14 = BFP!! Beta #1 = 179. Beta # 2 = 499. Due June 22nd.
After we were told IVF/ICSI was our only hope due to severe MFI, I kind of resented DH. I knew that I shouldn't feel that way, but I couldn't help it. It pissed me off that it was HIS issue but I was the one who would have to go through the drugs and surgery and everything for IVF. I never told him this (obviously) b/c I didn't want to make him feel worse or hurt his feelings. I didn't tell anyone else b/c I was ashamed to feel that way.
One day we were talking about our IF and I felt he wasn't being supportive (I was probably being really negative and dwelling on how much it sucked, and his attitude has always been 'It is what it is; let's do what we need to do.") Finally, I had to just come out and tell him I felt that way. He actually understood, and I think it made him understand why I was so emotionally insane, and he was able to make me feel better. Honestly, since we had that converstion, I haven't felt that resentment at all. I just needed to aknowledge it in order to get over it, I think.
As it turns out, later testing revealed that my AMH is a bit low, so maybe that has contributed as well to our IF.
I don't want to contribute to a baby gift for a co-worker who is going out on leave 35 days ahead of her due date because she is a lazy worker and got a note to avoid having to work.
My state allows you to do that..I think I may do it when the time comes as well..Oh & I'm not flaming you. lol.
I just don't like her because she is lazy even when not pg!!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46 DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!! First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
My job/company are completely on my last nerves... I feel like I need a true vacation, but with IF and testing H says no. I'm now also mad at H. I know he is trying to be responsible, but I think even just a long weekend away would be worth the money for my mental state.
I don't want to contribute to a baby gift for a co-worker who is going out on leave 35 days ahead of her due date because she is a lazy worker and got a note to avoid having to work.
My state allows you to do that..I think I may do it when the time comes as well..Oh & I'm not flaming you. lol.
I just don't like her because she is lazy even when not pg!!
Haha, understood!
04/07/11- PCOS Diagnosis w/GYN. Put on Metformin (1500 mgs) 04/25/11- 1st consultation with RE (Confirmed PCOS & Anovulation) 05/09/11-HSG-All clear! 05/13/11-SA-Normal. Found out on 2/14/12, low Morph (1%). 06/17/11-10 days of Clomid (100, 150) No response. 07/10/11-03/20/12- 5 Injectable (Follistim) IUI cycles; 4 BFN, 1 C/P. (stims ranged from 11 days to 25 days) 05/28/12-Diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. 75 mcg Synthroid.
IVF with ICSI in June/July 2013 = BFP!. Beta # 1 = 123. Beta # 2 = 252. Due March 25th. Baby boy arrived March 27, 2013!
FET #1 - 10/4/14 = BFP!! Beta #1 = 179. Beta # 2 = 499. Due June 22nd.
I am terrified of changing diapers!! I have done it in the past, but for some reason now I am terrified of it. I think my fear of being a terrible mother has taken on the form of being scared to change diapers. I know it's stupid, but I can't shake it!
Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days! Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
SAIF/PAIF always welcome
a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis
I had RSVP'd via FB invitation to a baby shower for baby #2 for a friend's sister and am very close to changing that "yes" to "no, can't make it" and thinking of something else to do. I am happy for her and her husband, but, at the same time I'm not sure how I'll handle being at a baby shower. My friend and her sis have no idea about my IF issues. Her sister will have 2 under 2 for a few months until baby #1 turns 2 next year. She is about 8 years older than me, but that is moot point I guess.
I'll start with a vent. I have two IVF coordinators, one at the military hospital and one at the civilian clinic. There's zero communication between the two of them, so I'm the go-between, but when I contact them, it seems they don't check my chart and they can't remember anything about me. Two weeks ago I emailed the civilian clinic about the protocol and specifically asked if DH needed to take antibiotics. She replied no, said he had to ejaculate every other day for two weeks, but that's it. Yesterday I called to set up my injections class and she asked if we'd taken our ten days of doxycyclin and I had no idea what she was talking about. She said we should have already taken it.
I emailed the military coordinator and asked her to put a note in the military healthcare system to order the doxy and today she emailed me back and asked if I live locally, and which pharmacy should she send the rx to.
I'm not local. This isn't news. They've put notes in AHLTA for me before. I've sent them all my hospital reports and SHG results from 3000 miles away. It wouldn't kill them to check my file or at least reference the other emails we've exchanged for a refresher on WHO THE EFF I AM.
My confession...eh, it's not a good one, but I'm over the military. After this enlistment, I'm done. So many things are just a facade.
Not super confessiony- but I am just ready for the next week to be over so I can get my Beta and be done.
My H and I are only doing one cycle, for a multitude of reasons. I am kinda numb at this point, I either want a great that worked, or a lets move on.
Ever since I was diagnosed, my life has been leading up to this point, and after about 9 years, it's safe to say I am ready for this roller coaster to end for me. In fact, I am half tempted to schedule my full hysterectomy as soon as I know I am out.....
TTC with Endo-DX-10 yrs ago
IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
Break due to DH deployment
Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
The back waiting room at my RE's office is right next to where they draw blood. I was sitting there after having my blood drawn (waiting for an ultrasound) and a woman was coming in for a beta draw. The woman who was having the draw had a 2 year old and this was her second. The nurse drawing her blood was going on and on about "you're toddler obviously hasn't hit the terrible twos - you wouldn't want another one" She talking about how children are such a PITA and pregnancy is so miserable.
WTF, the nurse knows there are two people sitting 10 feet away that are going through IVF - did she really need to go off about children and pregnacy? For crying out loud, she works in a RE's office.
Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101 1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
The back waiting room at my RE's office is right next to where they draw blood. I was sitting there after having my blood drawn (waiting for an ultrasound) and a woman was coming in for a beta draw. The woman who was having the draw had a 2 year old and this was her second. The nurse drawing her blood was going on and on about "you're toddler obviously hasn't hit the terrible twos - you wouldn't want another one" She talking about how children are such a PITA and pregnancy is so miserable.
WTF, the nurse knows there are two people sitting 10 feet away that are going through IVF - did she really need to go off about children and pregnacy? For crying out loud, she works in a RE's office.
THAT....IS NUTS! I would have said something snarky. lol!
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
My college roommate (we are still very close) had her second daughter this week, on my Mom's birthday. When I told my Mom, she was so happy and excited, she even teared up about it. I know what I should have been feeling was happiness also, but I felt awful and insanely jealous that someone else was giving my Mom such happiness with a baby.
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Not super confessiony- but I am just ready for the next week to be over so I can get my Beta and be done.
My H and I are only doing one cycle, for a multitude of reasons. I am kinda numb at this point, I either want a great that worked, or a lets move on.
Ever since I was diagnosed, my life has been leading up to this point, and after about 9 years, it's safe to say I am ready for this roller coaster to end for me. In fact, I am half tempted to schedule my full hysterectomy as soon as I know I am out.....
Wither, I can totally relate to the first part of your post. Ever since we got our final embie report on the day of transfer I have been feeling that way. I have been feeling like there is a BFN beta with my name on it next week, and I just want it to get here so I can move on.
I'm lucky that I can try IVF again, but am depressed by the thought of having essentially "wasted" the last 4 months on getting through this first cycle.
IF related: I feel irritated about people whining to no end about their fertility issues that are often curable or minor... or have been going on for 6 months. I know there's always someone with a scenario that's worse, but it's a slap in the face when it's IVF-ICSI or nothing.
DH was out of town for "work" last night, but it was more of a team building event. He said he and the co-workers were out until 6am. I hate it, because he doesn't often go out with me or my friends. There's always some kind of excuse and I wish I had more of a social life. Sometimes living abroad blows.
We have some friends coming to visit and all have decided to go to Oktoberfest. My body doesn't handle alcohol well anymore and I am going to drink to avoid the baby topic, but I'm going to feel like hell and not even get tipsy.
Lastly, I found a handbag I love, but it wasn't cheap. DH hates when I buy bags, even if it's $50. I was telling my Mom how much I liked it and she said she'd buy me it for Christmas. I feel guilty about it.
I hate my upstairs neighbors. The woman married her drug dealer (crack) after getting preggo and had her baby taken by DCFS a few months ago after the many domestic violence calls to their place (made by myself and DH). But don't worry, she's pregnant again.
Needless to say, I want to move ASAP but my husband wants to focus on either getting somewhere else to live or TTC. I desperately want to do both at the same time. Money is tight, but I want something positive to focus on so I quit obsessing about IF.
Seriously...FML.
Started TTC 4/09
Saw Specialist 7/10
Low Estrogen, FSH, & Progesterone DH: Normal
First Round Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 9/10
Second Round Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 10/10
IUI #1: Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 11/10
IUI #2: Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 12/10
Natural #1: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 1/11
Natural #2: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 2/11
IUI #3: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 3/11
Exploratory Laproscopy: found cysts outside ovaries & fallopian tubes blocked (removed) 5/11
IUI #4: 7/11
IUI #5: 7/11
IVF #1: implanted 2 embryos= BFN w/ no frosties
IVF #2: 12/11 implanted 3 embryos= BFN w/ no frosties
2/12: Consulted regular endo about weird test results, worse than nothing.
7/12: Decided that adoption is the best option.
It pissed me off that it was HIS issue but I was the one who would have to go through the drugs and surgery and everything for IVF.
Seriously! Injections, surgery, and putting your body through this and he gets to have an orgasm? There is something seriously wrong with medicine that they turn straight to the woman. Sometimes it sucks to live in a man's world.
Not super confessiony- but I am just ready for the next week to be over so I can get my Beta and be done.
My H and I are only doing one cycle, for a multitude of reasons. I am kinda numb at this point, I either want a great that worked, or a lets move on.
Ever since I was diagnosed, my life has been leading up to this point, and after about 9 years, it's safe to say I am ready for this roller coaster to end for me. In fact, I am half tempted to schedule my full hysterectomy as soon as I know I am out.....
Well I am more than happy to join your pity party.. table for 2! I am very thankful at least that only a handfull of people knew what we were doing so I don't have too many people harassing me about "how's it going" etc...
If only we could have wine at our pity party.... LOL
Wither, I can totally relate to the first part of your post. Ever since we got our final embie report on the day of transfer I have been feeling that way. I have been feeling like there is a BFN beta with my name on it next week, and I just want it to get here so I can move on.
I'm lucky that I can try IVF again, but am depressed by the thought of having essentially "wasted" the last 4 months on getting through this first cycle.
Yep that's me: pity party of 1!
I am joining your pity party!!!!
TTC with Endo-DX-10 yrs ago
IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
Break due to DH deployment
Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
I have two things...so happy you put this post up!
1. I am pissed at my boss.I seriously want to say something to her. A few days ago she asked me to put some paperwork together for her for a meeting that would have several of my co-workers there. It took me a few hours to put it together and note some things to it. She freaking stood up in front of everyone and went on about how she put it together!!!! You could see my handwriting on the post it notes! I was so mad. My co-worker was nudging me and was like WTF? She knew i did it....
2. I have a baby shower that I do not want to go to at all tomorrow. I am still in my 2ww and I pretty much know my 2nd IUI did not work. I get to go with two of my friends that both have 9 month old babies and then I will get to go and be around a ton of prego woman ( I know most of the people going) Blah.
I am secretly, horribly, hatefully jealous of the pregnant lesbian in my office. She got pregnant from ONE IUI with donor sperm, and here I am humping my husband relentlessly for two years and I got nothin'. It doesn't seem fair.
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IF related: I know that my IF issues are not as bad as a lot of women here but I have no hope- at all. Basically I am going through IF treatments because DH wants to try first before we officially move on to adoption. I am convinced that we are wasting time and money. I just want a family and somewhere deep down I KNOW that the only way I am going to get one is through adoption. Maybe I am just jaded from so many years of unassisted cycles without a single BFP... but I can't help it.
Not IF related: I love my regular doctor, but she seems to be on this path where she straight up refuses to listen to me when I ask her for things in regards to my treatment... so even though I don't want to offend her I called my ob/gyn today and asked him to call in a rx for metaformin (something he recommended to me months ago instead of the medicine my regular doctor has me on). I don't want to have to do something like that but I really feel like since this was his recommendation months ago, and this is what I want now, and she refused to listen to me when I wanted to talk about it- as well as give me a reason (of any kind) for why she didn't feel that appropriate... that I am somehow justified. Of course, if I really felt that way I wouldn't be defending myself to myself on this confessional, would I?
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I am so stressed and just want a glass of wine that I have been eating crap (a lot). In fact I am making pot stickers right now for an after school snack. I'm hoping this ends soon.
TTC since Jan. 2010 DX Unexplained infertility
3 IUI's w/Clomid & Ovidrel=all BFNs 3 IVF (2 Fresh, 1 frozen) =BFN Jan 2012 New RE & Fresh Cycle =BFP!
First, I lied to a friend to get out of going to an event this weekend where everyone except me will be with the childen. I love my friends and I want to go, but I just don't think i can emotionally handle it and she does not get that.
Second, I am scared to start the doxy for IVF#1 version 2. I hate it more than shots
TTC since 11/09
me: 39 DH: 36 dx: unexplained (ugh)
January 2011 - December 2012: 4 cycles w/Clomid; 9 IUIs w/Follistim & Menopur; two IVF cycles converted to IUI (poor response/dominant follicle)
I don't want to contribute to a baby gift for a co-worker who is going out on leave 35 days ahead of her due date because she is a lazy worker and got a note to avoid having to work.
I wouldnt contribute either!
TTC since 11/09
me: 39 DH: 36 dx: unexplained (ugh)
January 2011 - December 2012: 4 cycles w/Clomid; 9 IUIs w/Follistim & Menopur; two IVF cycles converted to IUI (poor response/dominant follicle)
The back waiting room at my RE's office is right next to where they draw blood. I was sitting there after having my blood drawn (waiting for an ultrasound) and a woman was coming in for a beta draw. The woman who was having the draw had a 2 year old and this was her second. The nurse drawing her blood was going on and on about "you're toddler obviously hasn't hit the terrible twos - you wouldn't want another one" She talking about how children are such a PITA and pregnancy is so miserable.
WTF, the nurse knows there are two people sitting 10 feet away that are going through IVF - did she really need to go off about children and pregnacy? For crying out loud, she works in a RE's office.
That's BS! I would be angry!
TTC since 11/09
me: 39 DH: 36 dx: unexplained (ugh)
January 2011 - December 2012: 4 cycles w/Clomid; 9 IUIs w/Follistim & Menopur; two IVF cycles converted to IUI (poor response/dominant follicle)
I love my husband, I really do....but there is a time and place for joking around and when I am bringing up serious conversations, that is not the time nor the place. Especially after I have asked you to stop. Grr.
This!
TTC since May 2009
DX PCOS w/ IR
Meds: Levothyroxine,Labetalol, Fish Oil, Prenatal, Vitamin D, Folic Acid
No offense to anyone who does this but I am sick of people who have 3 or 4 kids being so down in the dumps about not getting pregnant. Can't you just be happy with what you have and keep in mind that there are some of us out there who can't even get one child? I think it's kind of a slap in the face. I am also sick of stupid questions. If you are so dumb that you can't figure out the simplest things about TTC that are complete common sense maybe you shouldn't be trying. Last but not least... I am really, really sick of people who can't afford to see a Dr. so they buy illegal prescription drugs and take matters into their own hands with no monitoring, then complain about the cost of just that. Try paying for every single inject cycle or whatever else monitored out of pocket for nearly a year then complain to me. If you can't afford to go to the Dr. how will you afford to take your baby to one? Oh wait one of my closest friends just went on welfare even though she has a college degree because she didn't want to pay for anything. That's how! It's ok I don't mind paying for your children for you. Sorry everyone I know that was crazy but it's been building up for a while.
I am so sick of DH's family asking about a grandchild....IF ONLY THEY KNEW what was REALLY going on...but I just don't have the nerve or the heart to tell them we cannot conceive..and we can't afford insurance or IVF...I so terribly badly want to adopt, but not sure how his family would feel...can't afford to now anyway.. So I sit around miserably and watch all my friends kids grow up, and secretly and painfully wish for a baby of our own (one way or another)
... I keep praying one would "just land on our doorstep" like the old fashioned days....lol
IF related: I feel irritated about people whining to no end about their fertility issues that are often curable or minor... or have been going on for 6 months. I know there's always someone with a scenario that's worse, but it's a slap in the face when it's IVF-ICSI or nothing.
DH was out of town for "work" last night, but it was more of a team building event. He said he and the co-workers were out until 6am. I hate it, because he doesn't often go out with me or my friends. There's always some kind of excuse and I wish I had more of a social life. Sometimes living abroad blows.
We have some friends coming to visit and all have decided to go to Oktoberfest. My body doesn't handle alcohol well anymore and I am going to drink to avoid the baby topic, but I'm going to feel like hell and not even get tipsy.
Lastly, I found a handbag I love, but it wasn't cheap. DH hates when I buy bags, even if it's $50. I was telling my Mom how much I liked it and she said she'd buy me it for Christmas. I feel guilty about it.
Huge Ditto..... I wish it only took some Clomid for me....
TTC with Endo-DX-10 yrs ago
IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
Break due to DH deployment
Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
No offense to anyone who does this but I am sick of people who have 3 or 4 kids being so down in the dumps about not getting pregnant. Can't you just be happy with what you have and keep in mind that there are some of us out there who can't even get one child? I think it's kind of a slap in the face. I am also sick of stupid questions. If you are so dumb that you can't figure out the simplest things about TTC that are complete common sense maybe you shouldn't be trying. Last but not least... I am really, really sick of people who can't afford to see a Dr. so they buy illegal prescription drugs and take matters into their own hands with no monitoring, then complain about the cost of just that. Try paying for every single inject cycle or whatever else monitored out of pocket for nearly a year then complain to me. If you can't afford to go to the Dr. how will you afford to take your baby to one? Oh wait one of my closest friends just went on welfare even though she has a college degree because she didn't want to pay for anything. That's how! It's ok I don't mind paying for your children for you. Sorry everyone I know that was crazy but it's been building up for a while.
Say it again sister!!!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46 DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!! First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
The back waiting room at my RE's office is right next to where they draw blood. I was sitting there after having my blood drawn (waiting for an ultrasound) and a woman was coming in for a beta draw. The woman who was having the draw had a 2 year old and this was her second. The nurse drawing her blood was going on and on about "you're toddler obviously hasn't hit the terrible twos - you wouldn't want another one" She talking about how children are such a PITA and pregnancy is so miserable.
WTF, the nurse knows there are two people sitting 10 feet away that are going through IVF - did she really need to go off about children and pregnacy? For crying out loud, she works in a RE's office.
YIKES!!!!! That's REALLY bad!! WTF is wrong with her??
Renee- 37 DH - Chad - 39 2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins 3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks 5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks. D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death! Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis 5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN FET - 10/12/10 - BFN 1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN IVF - May - BFN 6/11 New RE - fingers crossed! 9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred 10/13 - BFP!! It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!
IF related: at least if my beta is negative on Sunday, I can finally have sex.
NIFR: my co-worker was writing a letter today, and I just wanted to grab the computer out of her hands because there were errors all over it!
ttc since 02/10
first RE visit 01/11
Clomid + TI 03/11, 04/11, 05/11
IUI 06/11, 07/11
IVF #1 - BFN
FET - 11/11 beta 11/21/11
BFP!!! . Beta 1 - 319, Beta 2 - 921
1st ultrasound 12/1 TWINS!!
My confession is that I'm afraid that I'm too stupid to follow all the IVF directions and will somehow screw it up. I mean I know I'm not stupid, but it's all so overwhelming and complicated and i have so much other stuff to think about. I feel like I'm managing this project and I don't want to be the one in charge. It's hard enough dealing with the emotional and physical stuff, but keeping all the medications and timing straight is mentally exhausting. At least right now.
TTC since October 2009 2 failed IUIs with Clomid IVF #1, ER 10/29/2011 ET 11/3/2011 One embryo transferred, four frozen 11/12/2011, BFP, 11/13/2011, BFP, 11/14/2011, BFP First Beta 11/14/2011, 499 Second Beta 11/16/2011, 893 Third Beta 11/18/2011, 1510
Lost my dear husband, October 3, 2012. You are the bear of my heart dear, and nothing can take that away.
My confession is that I'm afraid that I'm too stupid to follow all the IVF directions and will somehow screw it up. I mean I know I'm not stupid, but it's all so overwhelming and complicated and i have so much other stuff to think about. I feel like I'm managing this project and I don't want to be the one in charge. It's hard enough dealing with the emotional and physical stuff, but keeping all the medications and timing straight is mentally exhausting. At least right now.
It feels overwhelming at first, but once you're into it, it's not that bad. If your RE is any good they will have a detailed calendar and injection instructions for you. For me, it's about keeping everything together, and making sure that I'm not rushing at any point - because when I rush in life I end up messing stuff up (not necessarily IVF related). Good luck!!
Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101 1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
My company upgraded its network security last night and I am PISSED that The Bump is now blocked for "sex education." It is seriously the only thing keeping me sane some days.
TTC #1 since June 2010
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
Re: Flame Free Friday Confessions
IF related: I am actually kinda regretting doing TI this cycle. We decided to before we got DH's SA done and they found no sperm. If we had known before hand, we wouldn't have bothered. I am regretting it because I am having a few phantom symptoms that I can usually explain away because of the progesterone or clomid, but we are on a break cycle so I didn;t take either. I know chances are very slim and I hate getting my hopes up for nothing!
NIFR: I am still hating my new job but am afraid to tell my DH because I hated my last one too (and he did too because we had to live on campus for it). I am upset that I am miserable at work, and I just hope as I get more comfortable in the position that I will feel better. Part of it thinks it's me though and my desire to be a SAHM is making me just hate whatever I am doing.
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
April 2013 DE IVF= BFN
September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...
October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Me: 36 DH: 40
DH dx azoospermia My dx: RA & AMA
d-IUI's--6/10, 7/13 & 8/4: all BFN
d-IVF#1--Lupron/Menopur/Bravelle/Novarel; mini-dose protocol
ER: 10/25--18R; 14F; ET: 10/28--3dt of 2 embies; 3 blasts frozen
+ HPT 11/4; Beta #1--14dp3dt: 441; Beta #2--21dp3dt: 9298
One beautiful jelly bean growing! Saw h/b on 11/28 and 12/5!!!
P/SAIF welcome
<a href="http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b315/mandalinn/?action=view
My state allows you to do that..I think I may do it when the time comes as well..Oh & I'm not flaming you. lol.
04/07/11- PCOS Diagnosis w/GYN. Put on Metformin (1500 mgs)
04/25/11- 1st consultation with RE (Confirmed PCOS & Anovulation)
05/09/11-HSG-All clear! 05/13/11-SA-Normal. Found out on 2/14/12, low Morph (1%).
06/17/11-10 days of Clomid (100, 150) No response.
07/10/11-03/20/12- 5 Injectable (Follistim) IUI cycles; 4 BFN, 1 C/P. (stims ranged from 11 days to 25 days)
05/28/12-Diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. 75 mcg Synthroid.
IVF with ICSI in June/July 2013 = BFP!. Beta # 1 = 123. Beta # 2 = 252. Due March 25th. Baby boy arrived March 27, 2013!
FET #1 - 10/4/14 = BFP!! Beta #1 = 179. Beta # 2 = 499. Due June 22nd.
After we were told IVF/ICSI was our only hope due to severe MFI, I kind of resented DH. I knew that I shouldn't feel that way, but I couldn't help it. It pissed me off that it was HIS issue but I was the one who would have to go through the drugs and surgery and everything for IVF. I never told him this (obviously) b/c I didn't want to make him feel worse or hurt his feelings. I didn't tell anyone else b/c I was ashamed to feel that way.
One day we were talking about our IF and I felt he wasn't being supportive (I was probably being really negative and dwelling on how much it sucked, and his attitude has always been 'It is what it is; let's do what we need to do.") Finally, I had to just come out and tell him I felt that way. He actually understood, and I think it made him understand why I was so emotionally insane, and he was able to make me feel better. Honestly, since we had that converstion, I haven't felt that resentment at all. I just needed to aknowledge it in order to get over it, I think.
As it turns out, later testing revealed that my AMH is a bit low, so maybe that has contributed as well to our IF.
TTC since September 2009.
IVF #2: +HPT 2/6/12! ~ Boy/Girl Twins!!
I just don't like her because she is lazy even when not pg!!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Haha, understood!
04/07/11- PCOS Diagnosis w/GYN. Put on Metformin (1500 mgs)
04/25/11- 1st consultation with RE (Confirmed PCOS & Anovulation)
05/09/11-HSG-All clear! 05/13/11-SA-Normal. Found out on 2/14/12, low Morph (1%).
06/17/11-10 days of Clomid (100, 150) No response.
07/10/11-03/20/12- 5 Injectable (Follistim) IUI cycles; 4 BFN, 1 C/P. (stims ranged from 11 days to 25 days)
05/28/12-Diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. 75 mcg Synthroid.
IVF with ICSI in June/July 2013 = BFP!. Beta # 1 = 123. Beta # 2 = 252. Due March 25th. Baby boy arrived March 27, 2013!
FET #1 - 10/4/14 = BFP!! Beta #1 = 179. Beta # 2 = 499. Due June 22nd.
Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
SAIF/PAIF always welcome
a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis
check out my blog!
I had RSVP'd via FB invitation to a baby shower for baby #2 for a friend's sister and am very close to changing that "yes" to "no, can't make it" and thinking of something else to do. I am happy for her and her husband, but, at the same time I'm not sure how I'll handle being at a baby shower. My friend and her sis have no idea about my IF issues. Her sister will have 2 under 2 for a few months until baby #1 turns 2 next year. She is about 8 years older than me, but that is moot point I guess.
comments are fine.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
I'll start with a vent. I have two IVF coordinators, one at the military hospital and one at the civilian clinic. There's zero communication between the two of them, so I'm the go-between, but when I contact them, it seems they don't check my chart and they can't remember anything about me. Two weeks ago I emailed the civilian clinic about the protocol and specifically asked if DH needed to take antibiotics. She replied no, said he had to ejaculate every other day for two weeks, but that's it. Yesterday I called to set up my injections class and she asked if we'd taken our ten days of doxycyclin and I had no idea what she was talking about. She said we should have already taken it.
I emailed the military coordinator and asked her to put a note in the military healthcare system to order the doxy and today she emailed me back and asked if I live locally, and which pharmacy should she send the rx to.
I'm not local. This isn't news. They've put notes in AHLTA for me before. I've sent them all my hospital reports and SHG results from 3000 miles away. It wouldn't kill them to check my file or at least reference the other emails we've exchanged for a refresher on WHO THE EFF I AM.
My confession...eh, it's not a good one, but I'm over the military. After this enlistment, I'm done. So many things are just a facade.
Not super confessiony- but I am just ready for the next week to be over so I can get my Beta and be done.
My H and I are only doing one cycle, for a multitude of reasons. I am kinda numb at this point, I either want a great that worked, or a lets move on.
Ever since I was diagnosed, my life has been leading up to this point, and after about 9 years, it's safe to say I am ready for this roller coaster to end for me. In fact, I am half tempted to schedule my full hysterectomy as soon as I know I am out.....
IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
Break due to DH deployment
Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos
Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
The back waiting room at my RE's office is right next to where they draw blood. I was sitting there after having my blood drawn (waiting for an ultrasound) and a woman was coming in for a beta draw. The woman who was having the draw had a 2 year old and this was her second. The nurse drawing her blood was going on and on about "you're toddler obviously hasn't hit the terrible twos - you wouldn't want another one" She talking about how children are such a PITA and pregnancy is so miserable.
WTF, the nurse knows there are two people sitting 10 feet away that are going through IVF - did she really need to go off about children and pregnacy? For crying out loud, she works in a RE's office.
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
THAT....IS NUTS! I would have said something snarky. lol!
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
Wither, I can totally relate to the first part of your post. Ever since we got our final embie report on the day of transfer I have been feeling that way. I have been feeling like there is a BFN beta with my name on it next week, and I just want it to get here so I can move on.
I'm lucky that I can try IVF again, but am depressed by the thought of having essentially "wasted" the last 4 months on getting through this first cycle.
Yep that's me: pity party of 1!
IVF #1: 9/11: ER: 12R, 11M, 10F, No Frosties; 5dt: 2 blasts, 1 morula; DD born 6/3/12
IVF #2: 11/12-12/12: ER: 20R, 20M, 16F, 4 Frosties; 5dt: 3 blasts, DS born 8/9/13
Where do I begin?
IF related: I feel irritated about people whining to no end about their fertility issues that are often curable or minor... or have been going on for 6 months. I know there's always someone with a scenario that's worse, but it's a slap in the face when it's IVF-ICSI or nothing.
DH was out of town for "work" last night, but it was more of a team building event. He said he and the co-workers were out until 6am. I hate it, because he doesn't often go out with me or my friends. There's always some kind of excuse and I wish I had more of a social life. Sometimes living abroad blows.
We have some friends coming to visit and all have decided to go to Oktoberfest. My body doesn't handle alcohol well anymore and I am going to drink to avoid the baby topic, but I'm going to feel like hell and not even get tipsy.
Lastly, I found a handbag I love, but it wasn't cheap. DH hates when I buy bags, even if it's $50. I was telling my Mom how much I liked it and she said she'd buy me it for Christmas. I feel guilty about it.
I hate my upstairs neighbors. The woman married her drug dealer (crack) after getting preggo and had her baby taken by DCFS a few months ago after the many domestic violence calls to their place (made by myself and DH). But don't worry, she's pregnant again.
Needless to say, I want to move ASAP but my husband wants to focus on either getting somewhere else to live or TTC. I desperately want to do both at the same time. Money is tight, but I want something positive to focus on so I quit obsessing about IF.
Seriously...FML.
I am joining your pity party!!!!
IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
Break due to DH deployment
Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos
Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
I have two things...so happy you put this post up!
1. I am pissed at my boss.I seriously want to say something to her. A few days ago she asked me to put some paperwork together for her for a meeting that would have several of my co-workers there. It took me a few hours to put it together and note some things to it. She freaking stood up in front of everyone and went on about how she put it together!!!! You could see my handwriting on the post it notes! I was so mad. My co-worker was nudging me and was like WTF? She knew i did it....
2. I have a baby shower that I do not want to go to at all tomorrow. I am still in my 2ww and I pretty much know my 2nd IUI did not work. I get to go with two of my friends that both have 9 month old babies and then I will get to go and be around a ton of prego woman ( I know most of the people going) Blah.
IF related: I know that my IF issues are not as bad as a lot of women here but I have no hope- at all. Basically I am going through IF treatments because DH wants to try first before we officially move on to adoption. I am convinced that we are wasting time and money. I just want a family and somewhere deep down I KNOW that the only way I am going to get one is through adoption. Maybe I am just jaded from so many years of unassisted cycles without a single BFP... but I can't help it.
Not IF related: I love my regular doctor, but she seems to be on this path where she straight up refuses to listen to me when I ask her for things in regards to my treatment... so even though I don't want to offend her I called my ob/gyn today and asked him to call in a rx for metaformin (something he recommended to me months ago instead of the medicine my regular doctor has me on). I don't want to have to do something like that but I really feel like since this was his recommendation months ago, and this is what I want now, and she refused to listen to me when I wanted to talk about it- as well as give me a reason (of any kind) for why she didn't feel that appropriate... that I am somehow justified. Of course, if I really felt that way I wouldn't be defending myself to myself on this confessional, would I?
3 IUI's w/Clomid & Ovidrel=all BFNs
3 IVF (2 Fresh, 1 frozen) =BFN
Jan 2012 New RE & Fresh Cycle =BFP!
I have two.
First, I lied to a friend to get out of going to an event this weekend where everyone except me will be with the childen. I love my friends and I want to go, but I just don't think i can emotionally handle it and she does not get that.
Second, I am scared to start the doxy for IVF#1 version 2. I hate it more than shots
me: 39 DH: 36 dx: unexplained (ugh)
I wouldnt contribute either!
me: 39 DH: 36 dx: unexplained (ugh)
That's BS! I would be angry!
me: 39 DH: 36 dx: unexplained (ugh)
This!
I am so sick of DH's family asking about a grandchild....IF ONLY THEY KNEW what was REALLY going on...but I just don't have the nerve or the heart to tell them we cannot conceive..and we can't afford insurance or IVF...I so terribly badly want to adopt, but not sure how his family would feel...can't afford to now anyway.. So I sit around miserably and watch all my friends kids grow up, and secretly and painfully wish for a baby of our own (one way or another)
... I keep praying one would "just land on our doorstep" like the old fashioned days....lol
Huge Ditto..... I wish it only took some Clomid for me....
IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
Break due to DH deployment
Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos
Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
Say it again sister!!!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks
5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
IVF - May - BFN
6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
10/13 - BFP!!
It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!
TTC since October 2009
2 failed IUIs with Clomid
IVF #1, ER 10/29/2011
ET 11/3/2011
One embryo transferred, four frozen
11/12/2011, BFP, 11/13/2011, BFP, 11/14/2011, BFP
First Beta 11/14/2011, 499
Second Beta 11/16/2011, 893
Third Beta 11/18/2011, 1510
Lost my dear husband, October 3, 2012. You are the bear of my heart dear, and nothing can take that away.
It feels overwhelming at first, but once you're into it, it's not that bad. If your RE is any good they will have a detailed calendar and injection instructions for you. For me, it's about keeping everything together, and making sure that I'm not rushing at any point - because when I rush in life I end up messing stuff up (not necessarily IVF related). Good luck!!
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW