My DH and I went in for our first u/s appointment (8w4d) yesterday and did not find a heartbeat. The doctor thinks it's heart stopped beating around 6 weeks since it measured that size.
We are completely devastated, but know that God has a plan for us. In that hope, we carry on.
The doctor gave us the weekend to decide on our next steps: D&C, medicine or natural. I am a teacher and school starts in about a week and have already decided that going natural would not be the best at this time. If you've had a D&C or taken the medicine, do you have any advice for me?
Thank you. I hope this board can bring some support as this is my first m/c.
Re: new here
First, please know I'm so sorry for your loss. It's really difficult, but it does get easier, with time.
I ended up having a D&C and I was nervous about it- but it really turned out to be the best thing (for me at least). The whole process is intimidating, b/c its new, and you really don't want to be going through it at all. But in the end, the procedure itself only takes 15 minutes, and I woke up in recovery and felt totally fine. Everyone is different, but it gave me some closure and allowed me to begin to heal... Best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do.
Hello, and I'm sorry too - I remember the day after our appointment, when we didn't find a heartbeat either - it was the 4th of July and everyone was celebrating, and we were in shock. I'm sure you're feeling so many different things right now, and needing to make a decision soon makes it even more difficult.
I personally needed that last bit of "proof" about what was happening, so I had quantitative hCG tests done to confirm that my levels were dropping. I really needed to see that to give me peace of mind before having my d&c.
As far as the d&c itself, it was a relief more than anything. Our baby had passed atleast two weeks before we found out, and I waited another two weeks to see if it would happen naturally. I just couldn't wait any longer; I was wondering all the time when it would happen, worrying it would happen at work (I work with all guys, and never told them I was pg), and not even able to move on in my grieving because of what was still in my body.
I chose the sedative Versed, vs anesthesia - having had both, the sedative was BY FAR my choice! It took me about 10 minutes to come out of the fog after surgery, and I took a nap later, but I wasn't nauseous or recovering from it for days. I wasn't in any pain the day of surgery either, not even cramping. I went to work the next day. I did miss a day two days later, because I was home with contractions, which ended up being from a large clot I passed (my doc believes bleeding from surgery, not necessarily tissue).
I know this is a really long reply(!) but I was looking for so many answers when I was trying to make my decision. Please ask anything else you are wondering about, we're all here to help each other. Again, I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now.
I'm sorry for your loss. I tried going the natural way but it took like 2 weeks and betas weren't going down. Last friday the doctor did a D&C and was completely normal afterwards, only had spotting. I would suggest the D&C, your only in the hospital for about 2-3 hours and the procedure is only about 15-30 mins, the rest of the time is prep and recovery.
Sending you lots of hugs!!!
I never held you, but I always loved you.
Baby Squirt- September 2009
Baby Turtle- May 2010
Baby Surprise- August 2011
We love and miss you Jillian (18w) and Peanut (6w). Welcome to our TAC miracle Jacob!