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carrieandtim · August 2010

My DH and I went in for our first u/s appointment (8w4d) yesterday and did not find a heartbeat. The doctor thinks it's heart stopped beating around 6 weeks since it measured that size.

We are completely devastated, but know that God has a plan for us. In that hope, we carry on.

The doctor gave us the weekend to decide on our next steps: D&C, medicine or natural. I am a teacher and school starts in about a week and have already decided that going natural would not be the best at this time. If you've had a D&C or taken the medicine, do you have any advice for me?

Thank you. I hope this board can bring some support as this is my first m/c.

LadyMalibu · August 2010

First, please know I'm so sorry for your loss. It's really difficult, but it does get easier, with time.

I ended up having a D&C and I was nervous about it- but it really turned out to be the best thing (for me at least). The whole process is intimidating, b/c its new, and you really don't want to be going through it at all. But in the end, the procedure itself only takes 15 minutes, and I woke up in recovery and felt totally fine. Everyone is different, but it gave me some closure and allowed me to begin to heal... Best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do.

acast187 · August 2010

I am so sorry for loss.

akbride09 · August 2010

Hello, and I'm sorry too - I remember the day after our appointment, when we didn't find a heartbeat either - it was the 4th of July and everyone was celebrating, and we were in shock. I'm sure you're feeling so many different things right now, and needing to make a decision soon makes it even more difficult.

I personally needed that last bit of "proof" about what was happening, so I had quantitative hCG tests done to confirm that my levels were dropping. I really needed to see that to give me peace of mind before having my d&c.

As far as the d&c itself, it was a relief more than anything. Our baby had passed atleast two weeks before we found out, and I waited another two weeks to see if it would happen naturally. I just couldn't wait any longer; I was wondering all the time when it would happen, worrying it would happen at work (I work with all guys, and never told them I was pg), and not even able to move on in my grieving because of what was still in my body.

I chose the sedative Versed, vs anesthesia - having had both, the sedative was BY FAR my choice! It took me about 10 minutes to come out of the fog after surgery, and I took a nap later, but I wasn't nauseous or recovering from it for days. I wasn't in any pain the day of surgery either, not even cramping. I went to work the next day. I did miss a day two days later, because I was home with contractions, which ended up being from a large clot I passed (my doc believes bleeding from surgery, not necessarily tissue).

I know this is a really long reply(!) but I was looking for so many answers when I was trying to make my decision. Please ask anything else you are wondering about, we're all here to help each other. Again, I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now.

Lorange-8 · August 2010

I'm sorry for your loss. I tried going the natural way but it took like 2 weeks and betas weren't going down. Last friday the doctor did a D&C and was completely normal afterwards, only had spotting. I would suggest the D&C, your only in the hospital for about 2-3 hours and the procedure is only about 15-30 mins, the rest of the time is prep and recovery.

Sending you lots of hugs!!!

normajeane6126 · August 2010

I waited for 2 weeks, hoping to m/c naturally. When that didn't happen, I opted to take the Cytotec. The doc inserted it for me, and within an hour (enough time for me to get home and get comfy PJs on), I was bleeding. I bled for about 4-5 hours and passed some scary big clots. Afterwards, I spotted for 3-4 more days.

jerriesgirl · August 2010

I'm sorry for your loss

OrangeDaisy13 · August 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss! I found out about my missed miscarriage last Tuesday, and I decided to have a d&c done on Thursday. I am also a teacher and had a week and a half before going back, and that was the best decision for me. With the other options, I just wasn't sure how long the physical part would last. I wanted to have that closure, so I could start the emotional healing. The D&C hasn't been bad. I really just had cramping for a couple days and am still spotting. I've only been on here a few days and have already found support. You definitely will too:)

andrea701 · August 2010

I am very sorry for your loss. I had a D&C and didn't have a bad experience with it. It was the best choice for me. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting for it to happen and I wanted to start healing my broken heart. I had some pretty strong cramps after probably because I was also given cytotec afterwards to help pass any left over tissue. After the first day I didn't have anymore cramps and bleeding was lighter. I bled for two days and spotted for another week or so. I hope you choose what's right for you and we are here for you.

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