September 2013 Moms

SAHM question

I will be staying at home when this LO comes and DH and I are going to be discussing soon how we will be handling money. What works for you current SAHMs? Do you have a joint account or does your DH give you a set amount every month? Just trying to gauge what most people do. We have a joint credit card right now- but I know I will need a checking account for general household purchases. Thanks!
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Re: SAHM question

  • DH and I have a joint account.  I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.
  • image AFwifelife:
    DH and I have a joint account.  I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.
    Yes
  • I'm not a SAHM and don't plan to be (at least in the near future) but DH and I have joint checking and savings accounts and separate credit cards.  It has worked really well for us, and I can't imagine being a SAHM and being given an allowance.
    DS born 9/12/13
  • Exactly this. I am also the one that handles the budget in the house, so it's just the same as if I were working; we're just dealing with a smaller budget. 

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  • I'm going to be a SAHM too with LO comes and we work too...boo on allowances! Haha...I like the idea of keeping separate credit cards, I think that's a good idea for those hidden treasures ;-)
  • I have been a SAHM for 4 years. My husband and I have joint everything...checking, savings, credit cards, etc.  we make all major financial decisions together. 
    Me:35 DH:34
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  • image AFwifelife:
    DH and I have a joint account. nbsp;I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.


    Kind of this. But I have more say when it comes to money because I handle the budgeting. He still goes wonky and spends when he shouldn't though.
    image
  • image AFwifelife:
    DH and I have a joint account. nbsp;I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.


    This is us too. Even when I was working we still had joint accounts and it was always 'our' money. I've been a SAHM for almost 5 years now and my husband doesn't say anything about what I spend on myself, the kids, or the house. Nor do I say anything about his spending. We both know what we can afford and respect that. I take care of all bills because I am home and have time to do it. He knows I pay everything on time, make sure we save what we decide on, contribute to our retirement, etc so we don't have any areas that we disagree on. It's worked really well for us.

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  • I can't even fathom H 'giving me money'. If I SAH, my job is raising the kids. Crap pay, big responsibility. Being a SAHM isn't something that the mother decides. It's a joint decision and should be treated as a partnership.
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  • image AFwifelife:
    DH and I have a joint account.  I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.

    This. I'm not and likely will never be a SAHM, but I hate when I hear people say "my DH gives me $x a month for clothes". Just make sure you are both always on board with the budget and what is appropriate spending in each category (which is the same recommendation for a two income household).

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  • image EMLYNNLERETTE:
    image AFwifelife:
    DH and I have a joint account. nbsp;I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.
    Kind of this. But I have more say when it comes to money because I handle the budgeting. He still goes wonky and spends when he shouldn't though.

    this! I handle the finances. We have joint everything. If he ever has a question about something money related, he just asks. I answer homestly. Major purchases are a joint decision. I've been home since a few months before DD was born (so about 3.5 years) and its worked just fine. Everyone is different though. What works for one couple, may not work for another! GL and congrats on becoming a SAHM!

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  •  

    Do you not have a checking account now? Your last couple sentences confused me.  

    I've been SAH for 3.5 years now, with some random contract jobs sprinkled in.

    Our basic breakdown looks like this:

    We have two checking accounts, one savings account, and one credit card.

    H's paycheck is deposited into our main account, and I transfer a set amount into savings every two weeks. After all bills are paid and we're budgeted out for the next two weeks, I take surplus and put it in the second account. That becomes H's "I wanted to buy lunch for my office" or he wants to get coffee on his way to work, or whatever money. He puts all of his business expenses on his credit card, and what his not reimbursed for, we pay in full every month.

    I have 100% access to all of our money at all times. If I want to go out for lunch, or go buy something, I do it. If I know there's something on the horizon I plan our budget accordingly. I swear by mint.com- check it out! 

    J 1.15.10 | A 9.15.13

  • We have a joint account. I find it silly that the man you married would give you an "allowance" like he would a child. While we budget, household items fall in the category of well.. things for the house and are usually picked up when one of us goes grocery shopping.

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  • We have a joint account. I handle all of our finances. It really only makes sense for me to do it because I know how much to budget for things like food since I am the one cooking. I know some husbands don't like the idea of having a joint account, but it really is the best way to keep track of purchases and budget.
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  • We have a joint account and we both handle finances. DH gets his pay stub 2 days before pay day and we sit down and go over all of our bills, savings, and upcoming expenses. We actually both get a set "allowance" that we withdraw in cash. It's our mad money.

    ETA: We have two checking accounts. Money for bills goes into one and gas/grocery/etc goes in the other. We both have access to both.
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  • We have 2 joint checkings, one for spending and one for bills. I pay all of our bills myself and determine how much goes into the spending account each pay depending on our monthly budget. DH and I both spend as we need to, but we do discuss larger (usually anything over $150 or so) with each other before just going out and swiping the card.

    Even though DH brings in all the money, I don't feel like I'm being treated like a child if I run it by him that I want to go out and drop $300 on a new handbag. I think it's the considerate thing to do. He needs to do the same when he wants to go out and spend the same amount on a new set of golf clubs or something. 

    Even though our main savings is joint, I also keep a separate savings with a few thousand in it from money that I made while I was still working. The account is only in my name and even though DH knows about it and knows the balance, he does not have access to it. Call me cynical but I think this is the smart thing to do.  

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  • I really love the idea of separating your money into separate checking accounts for needs and wants! DH and I have been struggling to find exactly what will work for us and our budget, and I think I will bring this up to him! It would really help ME to not constantly be counting in my head every time we spend any money!!!!
  • image Shanmarie1083:
    We have 2 joint checkings, one for spending and one for bills. I pay all of our bills myself and determine how much goes into the spending account each pay depending on our monthly budget. DH and I both spend as we need to, but we do discuss larger usually anything over 150 or so with each other before just going out and swiping the card. Even though DH brings in all the money, I don't feel like I'm being treated like a child if I run it by him that I want to go out and drop 300 on a new handbag. I think it's the considerate thing to do. He needs to do the same when he wants to go out and spend the same amount on a new set of golf clubs or something.nbsp;Even though our main savings is joint, I also keep a separate savings with a few thousand in it from money that I made while I was still working. The account is only in my name and even though DH knows about it and knows the balance, he does not have access to it. Call me cynical but I think this is the smart thing to do. nbsp;


    I have been seriously considering this as well. I think it would work really wellfor us since DH uusually does not know what and when anything is being paid. It sounds ideal actually.
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  • We have separate checking accounts currently and I have a credit card for one of his accounts for house purchases. obviously any allowance would be agreed upon by both of us- not something just he decides and I would still have the credit card for big purchases- just as I do now. 

      

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  • image AFwifelife:
    DH and I have a joint account. nbsp;I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.


    This
  • image EMLYNNLERETTE:
    image Shanmarie1083:
    We have 2 joint checkings, one for spending and one for bills. I pay all of our bills myself and determine how much goes into the spending account each pay depending on our monthly budget. DH and I both spend as we need to, but we do discuss larger usually anything over 150 or so with each other before just going out and swiping the card. Even though DH brings in all the money, I don't feel like I'm being treated like a child if I run it by him that I want to go out and drop 300 on a new handbag. I think it's the considerate thing to do. He needs to do the same when he wants to go out and spend the same amount on a new set of golf clubs or something.nbsp;Even though our main savings is joint, I also keep a separate savings with a few thousand in it from money that I made while I was still working. The account is only in my name and even though DH knows about it and knows the balance, he does not have access to it. Call me cynical but I think this is the smart thing to do. nbsp;
    I have been seriously considering this as well. I think it would work really wellfor us since DH uusually does not know what and when anything is being paid. It sounds ideal actually.

     

    Thanks! this sounds like a good solution!  

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  • We have a joint checking and joint savings.  We also have some credit cards that we're trying to pay down to increase our credit score for when we want to buy a house next year.  DH works while I SAH.  It still feels new to me since I've only been a SAHM since this past September.  I pretty much make sure all the bills get paid on time, and I let DH know what we have left over for food and miscellaneous expenses after said bills are paid.  We don't make any large purchases without discussing it first.  I am a little OCD when it comes to checking our accounts.  I think I check them at least 2-3 times a day.  We are pretty much living paycheck to paycheck right now.  DH's year date at his job will be at the end of August, which is when he'll receive a bump up on the pay scale and we'll be able to start really saving for our down payment.  Anyways, I guess the point is we work as a team when it comes to how our money is spent.  Sure I make certain that the "bills" are paid on time, but we discuss how the rest is spent/saved.  Oh, and it's not "his" money, it's "our" money.  We did it the same way when I was working and he was a SAHD/student.
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  • I am not a SAHM but we have a joint as well as our own accounts and we would so if I did stay home. We have always had it set up like this.

    I also handle our budget and all of the bill paying including my husbands bills because I am more organized and have everything set up a certain way to make sure everything gets paid on time. 


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  • I'm in the minority. DH pays all the bills and I get an "allowance" if you will. I get it in cash.

    We have tried a lot of different arrangements and this works best.

    I'm a notorious spender, always have been. Cash keeps me on track. I have a check card and credit card for emergencies. The amount of cash I get was agreed upon by us both. DH gets the same amount, roughly. If I need extra money for something I spend it but I try not to make it a habit. We have an agreed upon budget so I need to try my best to stick to it.

    No matter what arrangement you set up make sure you have access to and knowledge of all accounts. It's really easy to get disengaged from the financial side of things and that's no good for the long term.
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  • We have a joint account but frankly I forget it is even there.   I banked the majority of my paychecks the past few years with SAHM in mind, so my expenditures come mostly from my own account (I do have some income from being a shareholder in my family's business, so it isn't just doing nothing but go down).  When we have big bills to pay, like school taxes, we look at what money is where and decide whose account it should come out of.

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  • image EMLYNNLERETTE:
    image Shanmarie1083:
    We have 2 joint checkings, one for spending and one for bills. I pay all of our bills myself and determine how much goes into the spending account each pay depending on our monthly budget. DH and I both spend as we need to, but we do discuss larger usually anything over 150 or so with each other before just going out and swiping the card. Even though DH brings in all the money, I don't feel like I'm being treated like a child if I run it by him that I want to go out and drop 300 on a new handbag. I think it's the considerate thing to do. He needs to do the same when he wants to go out and spend the same amount on a new set of golf clubs or something.nbsp;Even though our main savings is joint, I also keep a separate savings with a few thousand in it from money that I made while I was still working. The account is only in my name and even though DH knows about it and knows the balance, he does not have access to it. Call me cynical but I think this is the smart thing to do. nbsp;
    I have been seriously considering this as well. I think it would work really wellfor us since DH uusually does not know what and when anything is being paid. It sounds ideal actually.

    I took over paying the bills because DH is terrible about remembering what is due when. I think auto-payments are the only reason he still has good credit because if it weren't for those, he would have so many late payments on his report. 

    Once we got married, I took over our finances. Call me old fashioned but I hate auto-payments, especially when the amount isn't fixed. For our CC bill and other fluctuating balances I always go through the bills with a fine toothed comb before paying them. Some of our bills I still pay with a check. I'm so old school :)

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  • We've had a joint account for many years, but I've always had an additional checking account all to myself. I transfer spending money to it from my business account, but usually it goes to credit card payments. Most of the time I spend freely out of our joint account unless it's a big purchase then I double check with DH since he's the one who balances the checkbook.
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  • image AFwifelife:
    DH and I have a joint account.  I'm his wife, not his child, so I have an equal say in our finances and not given an allowance.
    Same here. I already stay at home and we have two debit cards linked to the same account.

     

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  • RedDDDRedDDD
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    Funny, I guess Im the minority. We have nothing joint. Probably because DH was married before and I was in a 7 year relationship before and so when we met we had been on our own for a while. We have independant checking and savings accounts. Once baby #2 comes DH will be staying home for a year and we talked about giving him an allowance in cash for things like groceries etc. I am the bill payer in our house so I pay all the bills currently out of my account but he pays mortgage and cell bill. When he quits work I will take over all bill paying and then use the cash to buy stuff from Target etc. Its what works for us. BUT we did talk and jointly decide on a weekly budget for groceries and diapers etc. He could care less that he's not tied to my checking account. But I would never want to be in the situation where my husband freaked out because I went on a shoe shopping spree. That would send me over the edge. So we like keeping things separate. I don't ask what he spent golfing and drinking with the guys and he doesn't ask what I spent at the spa or out shopping. :) Its what works for us

  • image Diapers&Wipes:
    I'm in the minority. DH pays all the bills and I get an "allowance" if you will. I get it in cash. We have tried a lot of different arrangements and this works best. I'm a notorious spender, always have been. Cash keeps me on track. I have a check card and credit card for emergencies. The amount of cash I get was agreed upon by us both. DH gets the same amount, roughly. If I need extra money for something I spend it but I try not to make it a habit. We have an agreed upon budget so I need to try my best to stick to it. No matter what arrangement you set up make sure you have access to and knowledge of all accounts. It's really easy to get disengaged from the financial side of things and that's no good for the long term.

     

    Thanks! I have been known to have a spending problem so that's why we considered the allowance route too. I actually was the one to bring it up- thought it would help keep me in check. I think having a seperate joint account would kinda be the same- I am terrible about using cash/getting it out of an atm in general. Thanks for your input!

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