August 2013 Moms

25 and pregnant

Most women are having kinds around 30 or 35 these days and that's how I wanted it to be. But it happened unexpectedly and here I am 25 and pregnant with my first child. I feel happy and I have a loving husband who isn't against having kids earlier. He is 32. But honestly I'm so tired of people looking at me like I'm crazy/my life is over and making 'she is so young' comments. It makes me feel like I'm 16 and pregnant. Is 25 really that early to have children? Because I don't feel like I'm missing out on something
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Re: 25 and pregnant

  • It's not too young if you have your life in order.
    • Adopted DS #1- '05 
    • Adopted DS #2- '07
    • DS born August 1, 2011
    • DD born August 27, 2013

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  • Im 22 and pregnant. I always get asked these questions.

    Was it planned? No he is a loved accident though.

    Well did you ever consider abortion? No. It wasnt the right choice for me.

    I understand feeling judged. Sometimes i feel that way too.
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  • Ppl will be ppl and do their talk. Just means they weren't as ready as you are at 25. I'm 28 and look quite younger than I am and I've wondered if ppl think the same about me, but whatever. It sounds like you're ready :D
  • I was 25 when I had ds and 27 with this one. My plan was to have my kids before 30 so im going good with my plan.
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  • I'm 25 as well and my husband is 30. In our circle it's common to start a family around our ages so I don't get any comments. Honestly I think that if you have your life in order stable, healthy, loving relationship, financial stable, working on or finished your education etc. and are confident in your choice any age ,within reason, is fine.

    ETA: Our ideal plan is also for me to be done having kids by 30 or 31.
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  • I'm 24 and pregnant with baby 2. I don't get any comments about my age but I don't even have any friends under 30. DH and I have been called "the grandparents" by coworkers.

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  • I'm 23, married, and on my 2nd child. There's nothing wrong with being a young mom.
  • I think people's reactions are very different depending on where you live and who you are around. If you live in a big city and most of your social circle is collegeeducated, yes, you will get those comments. I was 26 when DD was born and even her pediatrician interrogated me about my age. I'm married, a homeowner, a PhD student. But in my social circle, I was married young and had kids young.

    Don't worry about it. It's not young most places.

    ETA: Here's an article written by a 26-yr-old woman in exactly this situation. Honestly, I find the whole thing very strange, but it is true that there are places where having a kid in your mid-20s is considered young. I live in Boston now, but I am from a very small town, where some of my school friends have kids already in middle school. So it feels surreal to be treated like a "young" mom walking around pregnant, holding my toddler's hand at age 29. Just laugh it off.

  • I'm 26 and pregnant, and have multiple friends close to my age who either have kids already or are pregnant. DH and I had planned on having 2 kids by now (we started trying when I was 22 after we got married), and this will actually be number 3 for us as we adopted 2 kids last year. The adoption agency didn't think I was too young at 25. Who cares if people give you funny looks. If you and your hubby are happy about the pregnancy and have the means to provide for your baby then that's what matters.

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  • Who cares what they think? I am 28 and having my third but I am also stable as well.
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  • I agree with PPs it does seem to depend on your social circle and to certain extent, your geographic location. I am 22 and DH is 26 and we have been married almost two years. In the groups we hang out with, having kids at our age is very common. In the area we live, it's more common to wait a little longer but I don't venture out enough to places where I would get those comments. I had more people making comments when I got married at 20 than now being pregnant at 22. Try not to let it bother you. People prioritize their lives differently and to some, having kids isn't a priority. If you and DH are happy and ready for this stage of life, then that's what's important.
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  • I dont feel like 25 is too young.  I am 33 and most of friends already had there kids in there 20s. 
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    I'm 35 and having my first. I wish I could have started a lot earlier. 
  • No not at all I was 24 when I had my first. I did get a lot of dirty looks when I was pregnant becuase I did look alot younger then 24. O well!
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  • 25-27 seems to be the age to start around here.  Unless you want to establish a  career for 10+ years before having children I think it's pretty common all over.  At 26 most people have graduated college, had stable good jobs for a few years and maybe even have a house.  Baby just seems to be the next step.

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  • Haha, I'm 24 and having my 4th child, some people think we're crazy but others compliment us on how well we manage everything. We've been married for 4 years (practically had a baby every year) and we have a stable home and income. I don't judge others for the age they have children at, as long as they have the means to give them what they need and loving environment. 
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  • I'm 28 now, but we started ttc when I was 26.  DH and I felt that was the right time for us.

    I know some very young 25 year olds, and some that are completely ready to have kids.  I agree with others, that it is really about maturity level and where you are in your life.   

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  • I was 26 when I had my first. I am 30 now, and having my third.

    For my current circle, I am very early in the having kids department. Most of our friends thought we were crazy early having kids.

    Where I am originally from, we are definitely on the late side. Not many couples have children once they are in their 30s.

    The difference makes me laugh. We do what is right for us.
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  • I'm 26 and definitely don't feel like its too young!  We've been married for almost five years and have our life in pretty good order, so maybe that has someone to do with it?  People have been bugging me for years about us starting a family though too...
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  • A sign of maturity is not caring what people think and not worrying about what other people think or say about your responsible life choices.

    Maybe the comments are getting to you because you do not feel ready? Or because you will miss your young crazy days? I know plenty of young mothers who had children early and never let the words of others get to them, because they were confident in their abilities to parent.

    One of my best friends is 5 years younger than me and she had her first child at 23. I don't remember her ever complaining about comments people made to her.

    Anyway, don't worry about what people say.
     DS1 8/2011. DS2 8/2013.

  • image CelticWife:
    I was 26 when I had my first. I am 30 now, and having my third. For my current circle, I am very early in the having kids department. Most of our friends thought we were crazy early having kids. Where I am originally from, we are definitely on the late side. Not many couples have children once they are in their 30s. The difference makes me laugh. We do what is right for us.

    i was going to say a similar thing.  Here people have babies later, I had my first child at 30 and it was still earlier then a lot of my friends and fsmily members.  I feel it doesn't matter what other people say... It is what works for you and ur fsmily. 

    LilySlim - (VMOr)

  • I know what you mean. I am 24 (will turn 25 in October) and my fiance is 26. I have people look at me all the time too and I'm one of the first out of my friends to have a baby, but everything happens for a reason and you know what is making you happy. Plus I have realized people just stare in general when you are pregnant. No different than we all have when we weren't. You are at a perfect age :)
  • I had my first at 30 and I'm now 34 having my second. For my situation, this is what was right for me. Everyone is different. If your settled, happy and ready than no 25 is not too young.
  • I just turned 21 two days before I found out I was pregnant, and LO is due a week after DH's 25th birthday. The funny thing is we weren't trying and I used to joke around with him that I wanted to have a kid before he was 25! Crazy how that worked out.
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  • I'm 24, and will turn 25 in July, my husband and I have been trying since I was 22, and we lost 3 babies along the way. I have never felt too young but I have had doctors tell me I am young as a way of consoling me about my losses which I always found irritating. Other than that no one says much.


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  • I think it depends on where you live. In Seattle, it is young. 

    IMO - I think it is young. No scandalously young, but young.

    If it makes you feel any better, I am 31 but people think I look much younger. Usually people think I am about 25, I had one women last week tell me she thought I was 20 and carded me (don't worry - I am not drinking) I was sitting down (so she couldn't see I was PG). 

    But it has got me wondering - do people think I am 20 years old and PG? I guess they do!

    Oh well, the people who matter (family, friends, etc) know my age and know DH and me. We have been married about 9 years, so most people don't ask if it was planned. Our families have been waiting a while for us to have a kid.  

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  • image MrsBlindLove:
    I'm 25 as well and my husband is 30. In our circle it's common to start a family around our ages so I don't get any comments. Honestly I think that if you have your life in order stable, healthy, loving relationship, financial stable, working on or finished your education etc. and are confident in your choice any age ,within reason, is fine.

    ETA: Our ideal plan is also for me to be done having kids by 30 or 31.
    it is about a 50.50 split with our friends but I am 25 and hubby is 31. We want to be finished having kids by the time I am about 30 or 31 as well we have some friends that are like you guys are crazy but these are also the ones who don't want children. We waited to start trying until our lives were in order and just let fate decide. I see nothing wrong with it and agree atleast you are not 16. I rather be a younger parent then an older one personally. But that's just MO.
  • I'm 25 and pregnant but I apparently look like I should still be in high school and I've had people ask me how old I am. Some people are even judgmental because DH is 10 years older than me. It doesn't bother me at all, I really couldn't care less what other people think. I know what's right for me and my family and that's all that matters.

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  • image Monkey1515:
    Most women are having kinds around 30 or 35 these days and that's how I wanted it to be. But it happened unexpectedly and here I am 25 and pregnant with my first child. I feel happy and I have a loving husband who isn't against having kids earlier. He is 32. But honestly I'm so tired of people looking at me like I'm crazy/my life is over and making 'she is so young' comments. It makes me feel like I'm 16 and pregnant. Is 25 really that early to have children? Because I don't feel like I'm missing out on something

    25 is actually the average age in the US for the first pregnancy.  

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  • I'm 23 and I'm having my 5th and 6th kids. I started young.
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