August 2013 Moms
25 and pregnant
Most women are having kinds around 30 or 35 these days and that's how I wanted it to be. But it happened unexpectedly and here I am 25 and pregnant with my first child. I feel happy and I have a loving husband who isn't against having kids earlier. He is 32. But honestly I'm so tired of people looking at me like I'm crazy/my life is over and making 'she is so young' comments. It makes me feel like I'm 16 and pregnant. Is 25 really that early to have children? Because I don't feel like I'm missing out on something
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Re: 25 and pregnant
Was it planned? No he is a loved accident though.
Well did you ever consider abortion? No. It wasnt the right choice for me.
I understand feeling judged. Sometimes i feel that way too.
ETA: Our ideal plan is also for me to be done having kids by 30 or 31.
DH: 37
Married: May 24, 2008
TTC #2 since: June 2020
I think people's reactions are very different depending on where you live and who you are around. If you live in a big city and most of your social circle is collegeeducated, yes, you will get those comments. I was 26 when DD was born and even her pediatrician interrogated me about my age. I'm married, a homeowner, a PhD student. But in my social circle, I was married young and had kids young.
Don't worry about it. It's not young most places.
ETA: Here's an article written by a 26-yr-old woman in exactly this situation. Honestly, I find the whole thing very strange, but it is true that there are places where having a kid in your mid-20s is considered young. I live in Boston now, but I am from a very small town, where some of my school friends have kids already in middle school. So it feels surreal to be treated like a "young" mom walking around pregnant, holding my toddler's hand at age 29. Just laugh it off.
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I'm 28 now, but we started ttc when I was 26. DH and I felt that was the right time for us.
I know some very young 25 year olds, and some that are completely ready to have kids. I agree with others, that it is really about maturity level and where you are in your life.
For my current circle, I am very early in the having kids department. Most of our friends thought we were crazy early having kids.
Where I am originally from, we are definitely on the late side. Not many couples have children once they are in their 30s.
The difference makes me laugh. We do what is right for us.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Unknown
Married 3-1-08 | Nathan 11-24-08 | Kaelyn 11-30-10 | Alicia 8-17-13
Maybe the comments are getting to you because you do not feel ready? Or because you will miss your young crazy days? I know plenty of young mothers who had children early and never let the words of others get to them, because they were confident in their abilities to parent.
One of my best friends is 5 years younger than me and she had her first child at 23. I don't remember her ever complaining about comments people made to her.
Anyway, don't worry about what people say.
i was going to say a similar thing. Here people have babies later, I had my first child at 30 and it was still earlier then a lot of my friends and fsmily members. I feel it doesn't matter what other people say... It is what works for you and ur fsmily.
Married 07/17/2010
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BFP #1 March 31st 2011 Due December 10 2011
Missed m/c discovered June 2nd 2011 at 12w4d
D&C scheduled June 7th 2011 at 13w2d
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BFP #2 September 28th 2011 Due June 8th 2012
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It's a boy!
Little man was born August 1st 2013, 7lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches long
I think it depends on where you live. In Seattle, it is young.
IMO - I think it is young. No scandalously young, but young.
If it makes you feel any better, I am 31 but people think I look much younger. Usually people think I am about 25, I had one women last week tell me she thought I was 20 and carded me (don't worry - I am not drinking) I was sitting down (so she couldn't see I was PG).
But it has got me wondering - do people think I am 20 years old and PG? I guess they do!
Oh well, the people who matter (family, friends, etc) know my age and know DH and me. We have been married about 9 years, so most people don't ask if it was planned. Our families have been waiting a while for us to have a kid.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
25 is actually the average age in the US for the first pregnancy.
I am also 25, but I'll be 26 in July. DH is 34. In our circle, we are considered "young" to be having children. Well, I guess I am since DH is in his mid-thirties. Some of my friends looked at me like I'd grown a third eye when I told them I was pg.
But, my life is much more stable than theirs--DH and I have have pretty great careers at our respective companies, have been married for over two years, we have a large living space, etc.
A lot of those friends are still in the party mentality, unemployed, or trying to finish school, so I know they wouldn't be ready but I feel we are.
And at work, I know people sometimes will give you dirty looks. I've even been asked "Shouldn't you be at school right now?" Lol! Someone thought I was in high school.
If it works for your family, don't let others get to you.
Caleb Jonathan
Born November 30, 2011
The Winking of an Eye
A blog about the mommyhood, wifehood and lifehood of a misplaced Minnesotan in SoCal
I'm 25 and DH and I both have degrees and great careers. I'm confused about the intent of this post.
Everyone is different and we are all at different points in our lives no matter age.
ditto to all of this!
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I'm also 25 and I've been with my husband for 7 years. I have a career and a college degree as well.
I feel like I'm actually way behind most people I went to school with. A lot of the girls I grew up with already have multiple children.
Honestly I feel like the average age of a mother these days is 21.
I mostly agree with this. I had my first at 24 (I wanted to be done by 30 as well) and I will be having my last right before I turn 32. In my area 24 is young, but it didn't matter. I owned my own place, had a good job, savings, and childcare lined up. Strangers don't know you, or your situation, if their comments bother you, then maybe it is for a reason...
That said if its the third person in the same day to ask "was this planned?" they MIGHT have gotten an eye roll from me, but I get sick of people asking me the same question over and over again, no matter what the subject happens to be!