Baby Names

When a pg friend mentions a name you hate...

If you ask a pregnant friend "have you picked a name?" and they tell you something awful, what do you do?  Smile and pretend you like it?  Or give your honest opinion? 

I just try to be neutral and say "oh, okay."  My friend did tell me a really awful name that I had to try not to grimace over: Chrysanthemum.

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Re: When a pg friend mentions a name you hate...

  • Honestly, even if it is a name I hated I wouldn't say anything. I think you are right to keep it neutral. Especially, if you are the one asking, and they have not asked for your opinion.

    Maybe if they call her "chrissy" it will be ok.

  • That would elicit a "wow, that's interesting" from me! That's awful! I can usually keep it classy and say it's cute, even if it's not. We all know how hard it is to come up with a name without comments from the peanut gallery. But c'mon!
  • I NEVER criticize.  I remember how much I HATED when people made comments about DS' name.  My SIL had picked out Madison for a girl (which I loathe), but I just said, Oh, I'm going to love her so much!  Didn't make a comment about the name, just moved past the issue altogether.

    They're having a boy, his name will be Austin (NMS), but I will love him anyway!! 

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  • I agree with the above post.  Also if they don't ask your opinion, then they probably don't want it and If they DO ask your opinion and hate it, try to be nice.  Remember we are all sensitive!!
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  • Happened to me the other day when i ran into a girl i went to school with. I walked over and told her congrats and asked her the name and she said Shannon. Dont really hate the name just reminds me of the 80's and 90's. I told her it was a nice name and as i was walking away i thought to myself i hope i didnt make an eww face to the name lol.

    Another one was Kayndence/Kayndance pronounced Cain-Dance..(cant remember how it was spelled) yeah i asked her how to spell it and she said "everyone always asks me that!" ummmm...should be a sign to think about using a different name..duh.

  • I'd keep my mouth shut, not my kid and I certainly wouldn't want anyone giving their opinion about what DH & I name our child - if you weren't involved with the creating, you don't get to be involved with the naming :)

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  • image zoe_cat:

    If you ask a pregnant friend "have you picked a name?" and they tell you something awful, what do you do?  Smile and pretend you like it?  Or give your honest opinion? 

    I just try to be neutral and say "oh, okay."  My friend did tell me a really awful name that I had to try not to grimace over: Chrysanthemum.

    I ALWAYS say something nice. Particularly because even if I hate it, who cares. I'm not bothered by other people's names even when I hate them. Plus, I like unusual names & am really annoyed when people say nasty things about them to my face. It's like "really? so will you dislike or not talk to my kid if I name them that?" 

  • scootRNscootRN
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
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    I usually say something neutral or possibly negative, but in a positive way. For instance, "Oh, well that's yoo-neek! You don't hear that one much!" And then try to change the subject.
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  • I usually just smile and say "Wow! That is different!" I dont share baby names with anyone because I dont want to hear what anyone thinks! :)
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  • I would not give my opinion unless someone asked me for it. I would probably say something along the lines of "oh how interesting" if it was a "made up" name. 
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  • image zoe_cat:

    If you ask a pregnant friend "have you picked a name?" and they tell you something awful, what do you do?  Smile and pretend you like it?  Or give your honest opinion? 

    I just try to be neutral and say "oh, okay."  My friend did tell me a really awful name that I had to try not to grimace over: Chrysanthemum.

    Honestly, something like Chrysanthemum deserves the side eye. I'd probably be all like "WHAT?" 

    If it's just a name that not my style than no way would I say anything. But Chrysanthemum? I just might.

  • I would NEVER say anything negative to someone about their name choice IRL.  It's just uncouth in my opinion.

    And I happen to think Chrysanthemum is cute.  It reminds me of the children's books.

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  • I would always be positive, especially if I had brought it up. If she asked me for my opinion on the name, maybe I would say something slightlyyy more honest.
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  • If you asked, you have an obligation to be nice. If she asked for your opinion, you can be honest.

    A good neutral follow-up is, "How did you choose that name?" Someone who has decided to name their child Bandit or Honeysuckle would probably love to tell you all about its special meaning.

  • apc1929apc1929
    2500 Comments 250 Answers Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its
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    I would never say anything negative about someones choice.  I wouldn't go on about how much I liked it but I certainly wouldn't tell them I hated it.  I don't really get why people do that while the baby is in the womb- would you do it after they were born?  To me I don't really see a difference. 
  • I would only give an opinion if it was asked for. If it was just being told to me, then I would be tactful and polite.

    Aren't women on the Bump always complaining about people giving unsolicited opinions on their name choices?  

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  • Like PP have said, if they are just telling you the name and not asking for an opinion, I would just say "great so glad you've decided", etc. If they sincerely asked for an opinion I would be more honest with them. Not rude, just respectfully honest.
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  • well, I hate the name Harper and a friend of mine just named her daughter Harper.  When she told me they were naming the baby this, I said nothing.  If she had given me a list of names, I may have given more of an opinion, but with just the final choice, I really couldn't be honest. 
  • image j_luvs_r:

    I would NEVER say anything negative to someone about their name choice IRL.  It's just uncouth in my opinion.

    And I happen to think Chrysanthemum is cute.  It reminds me of the children's books.

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    Agreed.

    I either compliment the name, or  if it's nms or if it's even downright awful, I will smile and say something like, "How original!" which will usually get them talking about how they chose the name.

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  • A name like that will get a response along the lines of "you don't hear that everyday!" from me. If I hate it, I usually say "awww!" As in awwwwful :) but it sounds like I like it. A coworker told us recently they were naming their baby Kelsey. He got an "awwww!"
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  • I follow the rule... if you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth shut.


     

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  • I give  neutral response.  I know I have different tastes from some friends, and obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion.  Of course, if the name is super uneek then I have trouble biting my tongue, but I try to give a nice critique.  This happened recently with a coworker and the name her son had chosen for his future DD.  They were going to spell it terribly and I made a pleasant suggestion :)
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  • image arpetree1:
    I usually just smile and say "Wow! That is different!" I dont share baby names with anyone because I dont want to hear what anyone thinks! :)

    Exactly. I don't tell anyone IRL my baby names because I don't want any influence.  

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  • I never say anything negative, but don't say I love it or anything either. If it's really terrible, I just hope they change their minds before the baby comes!
  • My cousin just told us her name choices (HATE them except for one) and I always say, "Aww how cute or nice" regardless if I like it. I'm a pretty passionate person so if I didn't say anything it would be VERY obvious that I didn't like the name. If someone ASKED me what I thought about a name, I would give my opinion, but not be too honest if I despised it. If someone asked me what I thought about Avery (which I really dislike), I would say it's not really something I would consider. I wouldn't say I really dislike it though.
  • Not everyone likes the same names so I probably keep my mouth zipped esp if you are the one asking...  They really are not asking for an opinion. 

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  • kat81kat81
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
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    good question. Maybe only say something if it sounds like they are asking for an opinion. Otherwise, stay neutral or positive.
    DS born 12/18/2010
  • My friend is thinking of Sonja for a girl w/ the NN Sonny.  I hate it but said it was cute and then gave a ton of other suggestions.  I wasn't mean but hoping she picks something nicer.
  • image brookelynpaisley:
    A name like that will get a response along the lines of "you don't hear that everyday!" from me. If I hate it, I usually say "awww!" As in awwwwful :) but it sounds like I like it. A coworker told us recently they were naming their baby Kelsey. He got an "awwww!"

     oh snap! Guess you'd give me a big "awww" too

  • image j_luvs_r:

    I would NEVER say anything negative to someone about their name choice IRL.  It's just uncouth in my opinion.

    And I happen to think Chrysanthemum is cute.  It reminds me of the children's books.

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    Chrysanthemum Chrysanthemum Chrysanthemum!

    I love this book! I read it to my class every year. 

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