Baby Names

When a pg friend mentions a name you hate...

If you ask a pregnant friend "have you picked a name?" and they tell you something awful, what do you do?  Smile and pretend you like it?  Or give your honest opinion? 

I just try to be neutral and say "oh, okay."  My friend did tell me a really awful name that I had to try not to grimace over: Chrysanthemum.

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Re: When a pg friend mentions a name you hate...

  • Honestly, even if it is a name I hated I wouldn't say anything. I think you are right to keep it neutral. Especially, if you are the one asking, and they have not asked for your opinion.

    Maybe if they call her "chrissy" it will be ok.

  • That would elicit a "wow, that's interesting" from me! That's awful! I can usually keep it classy and say it's cute, even if it's not. We all know how hard it is to come up with a name without comments from the peanut gallery. But c'mon!
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  • I NEVER criticize.  I remember how much I HATED when people made comments about DS' name.  My SIL had picked out Madison for a girl (which I loathe), but I just said, Oh, I'm going to love her so much!  Didn't make a comment about the name, just moved past the issue altogether.

    They're having a boy, his name will be Austin (NMS), but I will love him anyway!! 

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  • I agree with the above post.  Also if they don't ask your opinion, then they probably don't want it and If they DO ask your opinion and hate it, try to be nice.  Remember we are all sensitive!!
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  • Happened to me the other day when i ran into a girl i went to school with. I walked over and told her congrats and asked her the name and she said Shannon. Dont really hate the name just reminds me of the 80's and 90's. I told her it was a nice name and as i was walking away i thought to myself i hope i didnt make an eww face to the name lol.

    Another one was Kayndence/Kayndance pronounced Cain-Dance..(cant remember how it was spelled) yeah i asked her how to spell it and she said "everyone always asks me that!" ummmm...should be a sign to think about using a different name..duh.

  • I'd keep my mouth shut, not my kid and I certainly wouldn't want anyone giving their opinion about what DH & I name our child - if you weren't involved with the creating, you don't get to be involved with the naming :)

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  • imagezoe_cat:

    If you ask a pregnant friend "have you picked a name?" and they tell you something awful, what do you do?  Smile and pretend you like it?  Or give your honest opinion? 

    I just try to be neutral and say "oh, okay."  My friend did tell me a really awful name that I had to try not to grimace over: Chrysanthemum.

    I ALWAYS say something nice. Particularly because even if I hate it, who cares. I'm not bothered by other people's names even when I hate them. Plus, I like unusual names & am really annoyed when people say nasty things about them to my face. It's like "really? so will you dislike or not talk to my kid if I name them that?" 

  • scootRNscootRN member
    I usually say something neutral or possibly negative, but in a positive way. For instance, "Oh, well that's yoo-neek! You don't hear that one much!" And then try to change the subject.
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  • I usually just smile and say "Wow! That is different!" I dont share baby names with anyone because I dont want to hear what anyone thinks! :)
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  • I would not give my opinion unless someone asked me for it. I would probably say something along the lines of "oh how interesting" if it was a "made up" name. 
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  • imagezoe_cat:

    If you ask a pregnant friend "have you picked a name?" and they tell you something awful, what do you do?  Smile and pretend you like it?  Or give your honest opinion? 

    I just try to be neutral and say "oh, okay."  My friend did tell me a really awful name that I had to try not to grimace over: Chrysanthemum.

    Honestly, something like Chrysanthemum deserves the side eye. I'd probably be all like "WHAT?" 

    If it's just a name that not my style than no way would I say anything. But Chrysanthemum? I just might.

  • I would NEVER say anything negative to someone about their name choice IRL.  It's just uncouth in my opinion.

    And I happen to think Chrysanthemum is cute.  It reminds me of the children's books.

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  • I would always be positive, especially if I had brought it up. If she asked me for my opinion on the name, maybe I would say something slightlyyy more honest.
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  • If you asked, you have an obligation to be nice. If she asked for your opinion, you can be honest.

    A good neutral follow-up is, "How did you choose that name?" Someone who has decided to name their child Bandit or Honeysuckle would probably love to tell you all about its special meaning.

  • apc1929apc1929 member
    I would never say anything negative about someones choice.  I wouldn't go on about how much I liked it but I certainly wouldn't tell them I hated it.  I don't really get why people do that while the baby is in the womb- would you do it after they were born?  To me I don't really see a difference. 
  • I would only give an opinion if it was asked for. If it was just being told to me, then I would be tactful and polite.

    Aren't women on the Bump always complaining about people giving unsolicited opinions on their name choices?  

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  • Like PP have said, if they are just telling you the name and not asking for an opinion, I would just say "great so glad you've decided", etc. If they sincerely asked for an opinion I would be more honest with them. Not rude, just respectfully honest.
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  • well, I hate the name Harper and a friend of mine just named her daughter Harper.  When she told me they were naming the baby this, I said nothing.  If she had given me a list of names, I may have given more of an opinion, but with just the final choice, I really couldn't be honest. 
  • imagej_luvs_r:

    I would NEVER say anything negative to someone about their name choice IRL.  It's just uncouth in my opinion.

    And I happen to think Chrysanthemum is cute.  It reminds me of the children's books.

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    Agreed.

    I either compliment the name, or  if it's nms or if it's even downright awful, I will smile and say something like, "How original!" which will usually get them talking about how they chose the name.

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  • A name like that will get a response along the lines of "you don't hear that everyday!" from me. If I hate it, I usually say "awww!" As in awwwwful :) but it sounds like I like it. A coworker told us recently they were naming their baby Kelsey. He got an "awwww!"
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  • I follow the rule... if you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth shut.


     

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  • I give  neutral response.  I know I have different tastes from some friends, and obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion.  Of course, if the name is super uneek then I have trouble biting my tongue, but I try to give a nice critique.  This happened recently with a coworker and the name her son had chosen for his future DD.  They were going to spell it terribly and I made a pleasant suggestion :)
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  • imagearpetree1:
    I usually just smile and say "Wow! That is different!" I dont share baby names with anyone because I dont want to hear what anyone thinks! :)

    Exactly. I don't tell anyone IRL my baby names because I don't want any influence.  

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  • I never say anything negative, but don't say I love it or anything either. If it's really terrible, I just hope they change their minds before the baby comes!
  • My cousin just told us her name choices (HATE them except for one) and I always say, "Aww how cute or nice" regardless if I like it. I'm a pretty passionate person so if I didn't say anything it would be VERY obvious that I didn't like the name. If someone ASKED me what I thought about a name, I would give my opinion, but not be too honest if I despised it. If someone asked me what I thought about Avery (which I really dislike), I would say it's not really something I would consider. I wouldn't say I really dislike it though.
  • Not everyone likes the same names so I probably keep my mouth zipped esp if you are the one asking...  They really are not asking for an opinion. 

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  • kat81kat81 member
    good question. Maybe only say something if it sounds like they are asking for an opinion. Otherwise, stay neutral or positive.

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  • My friend is thinking of Sonja for a girl w/ the NN Sonny.  I hate it but said it was cute and then gave a ton of other suggestions.  I wasn't mean but hoping she picks something nicer.
  • imagebrookelynpaisley:
    A name like that will get a response along the lines of "you don't hear that everyday!" from me. If I hate it, I usually say "awww!" As in awwwwful :) but it sounds like I like it. A coworker told us recently they were naming their baby Kelsey. He got an "awwww!"

     oh snap! Guess you'd give me a big "awww" too

  • imagej_luvs_r:

    I would NEVER say anything negative to someone about their name choice IRL.  It's just uncouth in my opinion.

    And I happen to think Chrysanthemum is cute.  It reminds me of the children's books.

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  • If it is something that is nms, I say something like "That's a nice name". If it is awful (like your friend's), I try to stay neutral or say something like "That's interesting.  Where did yout think of that name?"  Or, "Is that a family name?"  I like to try to find the "reasoning" behind an odd name.
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  • rlyttlerlyttle member

    That kid wouldn't learn how to spell it's own name till it was 10!!!
  • I agree with those who said only share your opinion if asked; most people hate unsolicited opinions! Choosing names is SO hard, and everyone has different taste. That said, if it is something truly awful that I honestly think the child will have a hard time living with, I would say something. After all, it's the kid and not the parents who have to live with the name, and in some cases the poor kid needs an advocate! (Thinking of parents who wanted to name their kid Fozzy, for example. Yes, like Fozzy Bear. Or some completely confusing spelling.)
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  • I try to be nice no matter what I think of the name. Recently, I was told the name Auralynn. She asked me about a middle name....um no idea. When she said the first name I just said, "What about the middle name?" Its unique. I'm sure after a while I'd get used to it. Just takes you off-guard and then you get used to it. I never would say, "Ewww. That name huh?" lol even if at the time you think it. It's not polite. In the end, a baby is a baby regardless of the name.
  • I don;t ask...It was driving me crazy when people asked the whole time I was preggers...so I try to spare them...
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  • If it's a friend I wouldn't say anything.... It's the parents decision and as long as it's not offensive to the child then it's not really your place to say anything.

    I know someone who named their child Lylah.... now I know it's becoming popular, but at the time I'd never heard the name before. The father is very vain and thinks only of himself and I thought.... Why would you name your girl Lylah? Aren't you worried she'll be vain like her father? Lylah's a GREAT stripper name and that's where she's going to be headed!!!! 

    I chose not to say anything but then later I learned that dad's the one that picked the name.... not mom...  She says now that the name fits the little girl perfectly.... and I agree! She's a 2 year old ballerina who only wants to wear dresses.

    I think that while we believe it may not be the right name, children grown into their names and I once read something on this website that says that as a parent... no matter how much you dislike the name... It will soon become your favorite name in the world.

    It may surprise you how you find the name ends up being PERFECT for the little girl. 

  • Remeber that it is their child to name as they please.  And if the kid hates it they can always change it themselves when they get older.  Outright saying you hate the name will only hurt your friend...and maybe even she wasnt sold on it at first.  Things have a way of growing on you.  But if your really concerned....say about the difficulty the child will have when she enters preschool and has to know how to spell her name I would probly go to someone with the authority to say something about the name....say the father or your friends parents. 

     I just know when I was pregnant I wanted my friends to be entirely supportive and love everything I did.  They in now way had rights to the override key.  And if they disagreed with any of my choices (even nursery decor) it turned into a huge fight.

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  • I have to agree with those of you who've said you don't say what you really think.  If your friend is considering the name, she obviously likes it!  Besides, when that adorable kiddo gets here, who cares what their name is-as long as it's not offensive, to each their own. 

    My parents gave me a family name, Traer, and people always struggle to pronounce it and spell it.  My mom's sisters wanted to name their daughters Traer but their husbands wouldn't let them.  But after I was born the hubbies agreed they really liked the name!  

    I'm sure people looked at my mom strangely when she said my name to them the first time, but who cares!  It's my name, it's unique & I love it.  

    Besides, how would you feel if you had a name you loved & one of your friends acted as though your name was horrible?  It would hurt!  It's really not going to hurt anyone to just be polite!

  • I would just be nice.  Even if you think it is strange, it may have a very personal meaning to them that you will never understand.  My grandmother would give me a Chrysanthemum everytime I did well when I was showing horses in big events, got good grades, or just needed cheering up, so if I were to name my child that, and call her Chrissy, then it would be like a gift of all those special times and memories that will forever be a part of my heart, but since my grandma is suffering from end stage alzheimers and doesnt know who she is, my child would never be able to experience how special something so small can be.  It would be my way of sharing the love that I know her great grandma would feel for her. 
  • wow - why is everyone else so opinionated about what someone names her kid? Everyone is so excited to ask "so what names were you thinking of?", or "what's her/his name?" Then comes the reaction. "That's interesting/different/unique/special/modern/wow/never heard that one before/haven't heard that one in years." or just silence with an "okay". Those are all 'disses', just to give every one a heads up.

     We're going through the process of picking names & have heard all of it - no matter what name is picked, someone has an opinion. Even playing it safe with John or Jane, is also commented as being boring/traditional/non-creative.

    Everyone should just enjoy & respect the names that others choose. Why not even ask how they came up with it to rather show interest instead of shunning & changing the subject? There's always a sentimental reason behind it no matter what the name, and that is what's most important to the parents. Not what people actually think.

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