3rd Trimester

RSVP rules?

Considering I have had a ton of drama with my hostess and her freaking out over the RSVP's, I was wondering what RSVP means to all of you.

Too me, it means I RSVP whether I am coming or not.  What does it mean to you?  RSVP only if you are coming, RSVP only if you are not or do you RSVP one way or the other?  TIA

Re: RSVP rules?

  • Respond either way.
    abby 365




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  • I RSVP whether I'm going or not and I send a gift.

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  • Unless it indicates otherwise, like "RSVP, Regrets Only", I take it to mean either way, let me know if you are coming.
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  • To me it means whether you are coming or not.  Most people wait till the last minute or totally forget. 

  • I never get RSVP's back! But it means to me the same as it does to you! Totally drives me nuts when people don't RSVP..
  • I RSVP as soon as I get the invite (yay or nay) so I don't forget. 
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  • Either way unless it says specifically one way or the other.
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  • I take it for exactly what it says "Respondez-vous, sil-vous plait" or please respond.  Doesn't say either way, so I agree with you, it's to say yes or no. (Huge pet peeve of mine)
  • image aerobaby:
    I never get RSVP's back! But it means to me the same as it does to you! Totally drives me nuts when people don't RSVP..

    It drives me a bit nuts especially if people show up without calling at all.  I worry there won't be enough food, etc.  My hostess is acting like she has never thrown a party where people don't RSVP.  I am sitting here going, it happens all the time.  Plan accordingly, have a few extra favors and a little more food.  

  • image JMH_squared:
    Unless it indicates otherwise, like "RSVP, Regrets Only", I take it to mean either way, let me know if you are coming.

    This.

  • I am glad I read this... i though it was only if you were going... or if it said regrets only..

    I will start saying for both... Thanks.

  • image morganmarie:

    I am glad I read this... i though it was only if you were going... or if it said regrets only..

    I will start saying for both... Thanks.

    In my opinion, definitely RSVP one way or the other.  That way the hostess knows for sure you are coming or not and can plan accordingly.  :)

  • You can have it anyway you want. Usually if you just put RSVP: and then give the info, it's implying to RSVP either way. If you put RSVP Regrets only, well then, it's only if they can't make it. or you can put RSVP attending only. And then of course, you always have the group of people who don't bother to do anything, and are left out in limbo. They may come, they may not come. Its annoying, but some ppl just don't RSVP period.
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  • People in arkansas can not grasp the concept of RSVP. Not only do they not tell you if they're coming, they don't tell you they're bringing 10 friends. It's rare to even see a RSVP in an invite around here.

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  • image lucisparents:

    People in arkansas can not grasp the concept of RSVP. Not only do they not tell you if they're coming, they don't tell you they're bringing 10 friends. It's rare to even see a RSVP in an invite around here.

    Oh man....that must be hard.  You have a party planned for 25 and you have to plan for 75 coming.  

  • RSVP either way. Unless it specifically says "Regrets only" Thats what I had on my invitations "RSVP-Regrets Only" and it worked out perfectly.
  • If it just says RSVP, then it is a response either way.  I've seen some people write "regrets only' or something to that effect.
  • RSVP means "reply, please" and that means let someone know either way. It's important so the host/ess knows how much food and drink to provide.

    Ugh, I hate how slack the world has become with manners and social graces.

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  • respond either way
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  • image jilicious:

    RSVP means "reply, please" and that means let someone know either way. It's important so the host/ess knows how much food and drink to provide.

    Ugh, I hate how slack the world has become with manners and social graces.

    I agree 100%!  I had about 12 invitees fail to respond to our wedding invitations FFS... unbelievable.  It's so rude to not respond to an invitation at all!

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  • Where I am from there are two ways to do it

     RSVP means, respond either yes or no,

     RSVP, regrets only, are for only "no".  

    If the event is very food dependent and need a head count, then RSVP is used.  if it is a generic event, then the 'regrets only ' is typical to see

  • RSVP actually stands for the french expression of "please respond" - it's true meaning is that you should respond whether you're coming or not (I learned that from Dear Abby...) BUT so few people seem to understand it these days. Most people only send positive RSVPs, which can be really frustrating.

    For both my wedding and baby shower, I ended up calling or emailing a bunch of non-responders anyway just to make sure. Lots of people also did things like tell me or a relative that they were coming but not the actual hostess (?!). So, generally people are clueless, and you can assume you or your hostess will be making some calls either way ;)

    Also, for anyone who hasn't sent out their invites yet, I strongly encourage putting an RSVP date on the invite, it gives you a solid time after which you can start to make calls, and helps spur people to let you know in a timely manner.

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  • RSVP = Respondez Sil Vous Plat (sorry if I misspelled the French there)

    In other words, respond Yes, I'll be there! or So sorry I'll miss it! That is unless the invite says 'Regrets Only' or something to that effect. I rarely see those though. I hate when people don't RSVP. Pet peeve of mine.

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  • image rmaxim:

    RSVP actually stands for the french expression of "please respond" - it's true meaning is that you should respond whether you're coming or not (I learned that from Dear Abby...) BUT so few people seem to understand it these days. Most people only send positive RSVPs, which can be really frustrating.

    For both my wedding and baby shower, I ended up calling or emailing a bunch of non-responders anyway just to make sure. Lots of people also did things like tell me or a relative that they were coming but not the actual hostess (?!). So, generally people are clueless, and you can assume you or your hostess will be making some calls either way ;)

    Also, for anyone who hasn't sent out their invites yet, I strongly encourage putting an RSVP date on the invite, it gives you a solid time after which you can start to make calls, and helps spur people to let you know in a timely manner.

    My hostess did this and supposedly 3 people RSVPd out of 25 by the deadline.  IDK.  I ended up calling or emailing people to get an answer.  I tried to tell people to call the hostess and let her know that they were coming but I don't think they did.  I ended up telling her people were coming, they RSVPd to me and that pissed her off even more. 

  • Yeah for my baby shower we put an rsvp by date on the invite. Our shower is on Saturday and we have been having a ton of people who never responded all of a sudden saying they are coming. WTH! They were supposed to have RSVP'd 2 weeks ago! It is so frustrating. Our is at a hotel in which we needed a head count by a specific date and we made that very obvious on the invite, but people really do not have manners these days. I say respond either way unless told otherwise.
  • image Stephanie2167:
    I RSVP whether I'm going or not and I send a gift.

    this exactly.  for my shower, if we didnt get an rsvp, we assumed the person wasnt coming.  i think we only had 1 person show up who didnt rsvp.

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    Respond either way.
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