Trying not to be annoyed, but...

skcaulder

Why do people ask you how you are feeling/doing and when you're honest and say "heavy" or "tired" they love to reply with "well it's just going to get worse!" I understand the honesty, but the negativity isn't necessary. Obviously I'm aware I'm going to get larger, but having everyone I speak with give that reaction is getting old anyone else feel like this?

DandT2point0

Check out this thread on things people say!

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12619852/wtaf-inappropriate-things-people-say#latest

mhwood

You can just say "fine"...

momotheflyinglemur

I just say "Doing well". It ends the conversation pretty quickly and no one pries.

BostonBaby1

Or you could always answer with "feeling pregnant. Haha."

blended10

I totally get this!! I answered "fine" the other day then they pushed: "really?! No aches or pains" well, of course I'm not 100% but I really don't want to get into it. Honestly at 23 weeks I'm kind of "over" this whole thing. My first pregnancy I thought it was daisies & sunshine - this second time not so much!! This too shall pass & you know some days are better than others. The wonderful thing is once that baby gets here you'll forget all about it!

jenmardel

I loathe the "how are you feeling?" question. While I appreciate people's concern, there is no answer that seems to be acceptable. Every answer attracts some sort of stupid response, lol.

My other worst: When other people's kids are throwing tantrums or being inappropriate and people are like "Are you ready for this??" Like "Haha, now you're going to have bad kids too!!!". I can't.

Mother0fDragons

I feel like people expect you to complain about being pregnant. I know that some have easier pregnancies than others, but I honestly hate the expectation to b**ch about pregnancy because it took us over three years to get KTFU! Call me crazy, but I'm thankful for being hungry and tired 24/7.

ketobaby

Im brutally honest with people and it seems they are offended. Like I should have told them I feel like a glowing princess.

MegStark

blended10 said:

I totally get this!! I answered "fine" the other day then they pushed: "really?! No aches or pains" well, of course I'm not 100% but I really don't want to get into it. Honestly at 23 weeks I'm kind of "over" this whole thing. My first pregnancy I thought it was daisies & sunshine - this second time not so much!! This too shall pass & you know some days are better than others. The wonderful thing is once that baby gets here you'll forget all about it!

I feel completely opposite of this. I feel like this pregnancy is going much faster than the first did. I'm not saying I love being pregnant, but I definitely remember having more negative emotions about my body, and thinking this was much worse the first time around. 

But yes, I agree that saying "fine" or something else generic just causes people to pry more. It's like they (especially other women) want to hear how miserable being pregnant is. I've just started telling people I feel great and that I forget I'm pregnant most of the time. That ends the conversation real quick. 

VesperLove

There is no right answer. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." ..... "It'll only get worse!" or "Get used to it!"

"Big." .... "Already!? Just wait until third trimester."

"Not sleeping well." .... "Just preparing you for having a kid!"

"Fine." ..... "But really, how are you feeling?"

"Great." .... "Seriously? You don't look like you feel great."

I agree that the only response that works is, "Pregnant."

Or, I'm inclined to just call them out on it and say, "Do you really want to know or do you just want to rub your own pregnancy experience in my face." Or for non-parents, "Do you really want to know or do you just want to try and freak me out even more about this process?"

goldochsi

I hate those statements.
The worse is when you aren't being asked at all, but people look at your bump and say: you know it's getting bigger?
REALLY? I had no idea. I thought it was gonna shrink!

kdoak2015

Lol if your annoyed just answer with I'm good thanks. If you answer with a negative statement such as large, heavy etc your going to get a negative one back.

mj6247

I think the way you say something is also important to fending off additional comments. So far when asked, telling them I feel "fat and tired"(sometimes adding a tidbit about DH helping me with my shoes or that the baby is eating my brain) with a big smile and a chuckle has been enough to get them to laugh WITH me instead of adding their not appreciated 2 cents

kleshelle

I get this everyday! So I've learned just to say I'm good. Lol

kristen2b

"How are you feeling" asked by anyone other than close friends or family is the same as being asked "hey how's your day?"
Nobody actually cares how you feel/how your day is. They're just making conversation out of social obligation. So instead of wasting energy getting annoyed just say "great, how are you?"

rdilts

I gave up on saying tired, big, sick because of this. Now I say I'm fine.

LaceyH13

kyleneum13 said:

There is no right answer. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." ..... "It'll only get worse!" or "Get used to it!"

"Big." .... "Already!? Just wait until third trimester."

"Not sleeping well." .... "Just preparing you for having a kid!"

"Fine." ..... "But really, how are you feeling?"

"Great." .... "Seriously? You don't look like you feel great."

I agree that the only response that works is, "Pregnant."

Or, I'm inclined to just call them out on it and say, "Do you really want to know or do you just want to rub your own pregnancy experience in my face." Or for non-parents, "Do you really want to know or do you just want to try and freak me out even more about this process?"

This could not be more spot on.

rain0831boww

I feel like people assume that they can only ask you about your pregnancy. They almost get lost and just ask the same damn questions. 

Taylovesbrad

I literally tell everyone I feel good and usually that shuts them up. The people that get me are the people I don't know well that ask the follow ups once I say that,
"How are you sleeping?" Good thanks
"Really?" Yes insert awkward smile
"Do you know the gender?" Yes
"Are yoy sharing?" Yes it's a boy
Now leave me alone!!!!!!! (This I don't say)

keallenrmt

When people ask me how I feel or how I am I just say "still kickin", they're usually so thrown off they can't come up with stupid responses. My mom used to tell me all the time with DD that I didn't know what I was getting myself into and "just wait till she gets here, it'll only get worse" or "this is just preparing you for baby" till I snapped one day and told her that wasn't helpful. I got the last laugh tho cuz DD eats everything in sight, slept thru the night at 3 weeks, is super smart and happy, never had colic and is just so easy it makes people jealous. So don't let those comments bother you if you're a FTM, you could get lucky like us too, we literally could not have asked for a better baby.

skcaulder

Y'all are hilarious. Thanks for the laughs