...Is it normal now for parents to let their poorly behaved toddler cry it out in a restaurant during lunch rush? Because that's what's happening right next to me right now. I know I'll be in this position soon enough, but seriously, I thought you sucked it up and took wailing children outside or bathroom to calm down if you're in public.
Re: Trying not to judge but...
You want to let them cry it out? That's fine. Let them cry it out in the car or at home. Don't subject other people to it.
But I've never dealt with a public toddler tantrum by myself so I'm guessing I'd rather flee the scene out of embarrassment rather than endure stares from strangers. We'll see how it goes.
It could also be a lazy parent. But again, hard to tell unless you know them.
I think it depends a lot on the age of the kid too. Younger kids can get themselves so worked up they can't calm down on their own and need to be somehow consoled or talked through.
And of course there's always out of control kids with lazy parents, so it's tough to say. Unpleasant situation for all involved though regardless.
My two year old had her first public tantrum in the checkout line at the grocery store on Saturday. She didn't want to go back in the cart for the walk to the car and I know that she would refuse to hold my hand and it would be dangerous. I needed to have two hands available to grab her because I'd be maneuvering a large cart while pregnant with one hand so carrying her was not an option.
I moved out of the way of the line after I paid and spent what seemed like eternity trying to get her to put her feet in the leg holes on the seat while calmly repeating why she had to be in the cart. She kept pulling her knees to her chest and screaming that she wanted to walk. It probably only lasted about three minutes but it was definitely one of those all eyes on me moments. Not fun.
I'm sure I was judged for letting her act that way. The truth is that I had no off button to make her stop and refused to jeopardize her safety to save face. I didn't raise my voice or get physical with her. I didn't bribe her. In my mind it was a parenting win, but who knows what all those people thought of me.
I try to remind myself not to judge the parents when their child is throwing a tantrum because I'm sure they're embarrassed and doing what they can. I know that will be me one day too and that I don't know the "right" way to handle it.
But, I was totally judging in the grocery store yesterday when a lady came in with her mom and three daughters. The baby was in the cart but the other two girls were wild! Running, crawling under things, jumping out in front of carts, running into me, screaming, rolling on the floor, pulling things off of the shelves, etc. The two ladies just completely ignored them.
Nothing to get my panties in a twist about. Adults listen to music obnoxiously loud in public as well, slightly annoying but not my circus not my monkeys.
@bbiutmcph that is my favorite line! I repeat it all the time!
All of this, because I respect karma. If I think anything, it's that I really want to find some way to prevent those issues because it just looks awful for the parents. @missey981 The video games definitely bother me more than crying because it seems so easy to prevent. Headphones, or just not having the volume up. It shouldn't be an annoying pacifier. But the sad truth is that I see it way more with teens and even apparently stunted people my age than I do with small children. When it's some 23 year old hipster jerk on a flight, that is when I want to just grab and stomp. Then again I get mad when people start playing music for their friends on their phones at bars too, and fantasize about dropping it in their drink.
But I guarantee you will be those parents in the near future. Like many people pointed out sometimes leaving isn't an option and I admit sometimes I don't leave just because one of my kids decides they don't want to do something. If you leave every time your kid flips out you literally will never complete things. Maybe the parents were trying to hold a united front vs if if I keep crying I know mom will give in and let me leave. Parents have lots of different styles and there is not a right or wrong aside from straight up abuse. Being a parent is full of lots and lots of shitty times and usually they happen at the worst time, like right after you ordered your meal, or in church, or in the middle of your other kids concert. You will get lots of tickets to front row toddler shows as your child grows up and you will also start to feel for those having them. There is nothing wrong with wanting a nice quiet meal but that is when DH and I have date nights at a nice dining establishment not a family friendly one at a mall or a chain one like Applebees. I just think this is one of those things you will look back on in a year or two and shake your head. Just like I did when pregnant with my first and made a post about leashes on kids.