Personally, I think a simple FB group post with a poll, and "this person wants to join, anyone have an issue with it?" which would be deleted before they join, would work. Would be tedious for a bit, but after awhile would be easier.
That, or the 3 admins would be responsible for "vetting" people who want to join. That's what we do with the groups I own/admin on.
In my experience, this has led to cattiness, so I don't think it's a good idea.
If we determine an entrance requirement (ex: member for at least x amount of months with x amount of posts per month), a voting process wouldn't be necessary. There could be one person that isn't a fan of bumpie that would vote against them and that doesn't really sound fair to me.
I agree, but the moms group I am in is much smaller, and involved being at peoples house, which is why thats needed, I guess.
Any larger groups I am, has admins do the vetting.
Personally, I think a simple FB group post with a poll, and "this person wants to join, anyone have an issue with it?" which would be deleted before they join, would work. Would be tedious for a bit, but after awhile would be easier.
That, or the 3 admins would be responsible for "vetting" people who want to join. That's what we do with the groups I own/admin on.
In my experience, this has led to cattiness, so I don't think it's a good idea.
If we determine an entrance requirement (ex: member for at least x amount of months with x amount of posts per month), a voting process wouldn't be necessary. There could be one person that isn't a fan of bumpie that would vote against them and that doesn't really sound fair to me.
I agree, but the moms group I am in is much smaller, and involved being at peoples house, which is why thats needed, I guess.
Any larger groups I am, has admins do the vetting.
I think it's easier to just leave it to admins to decide whether they think the requesting member is active enough
The only thing I am nervous about is the fact that I haven't posted a ton but I've "loved" a lot of posts. Many of the things I've wanted to post I have searched and found that they were already posted, therefore leading me to not posting. Also, I only comment off and on when I feel what I have to say is actually important or could be helpful in some way. But this board has been a great support for me as a FTM.
DH and I: Dating: 08/2008, Engaged: 02/2012, and Married: 03/13!
@brittandjp since it was your idea, how should we go about choosing group admins? also 3 isn't the magic number, but it definitely needs to be an odd number so that there'll be tie breakers in the event not everyone agrees on something
I think 3 is the perfect number. It needs to be odd and can be chaotic if there are too many admins. If we decided later that this wasn't working, we can always make adjustments. Nothing is permanent.
As for choosing admins, I'd be happy to start the group (unless anyone has a problem with this). Those that have expressed interest in being admin include @NikkiMN143, @JaymeeLH, @BrittP10, all of which I recognize and would be happy to admin with. Though that means there are 4 of us. So, one would need to step down or we'd need to go with 5 and have another (frequent) bumpie join us.
BFP #1 5/12/12; EDD 1/20/13; Eliana Grace born 1/25/13
Depending on how the group is set up, even spouses can't see what is going on. MW is part of her first BMB Facebook group and I can't see anything. I am on a Dad's Facebook group that is locked down really tight also.
This is just general information for those that are worried about what others might see while joining a private Facebook group from my personal experience.
The only thing I am nervous about is the fact that I haven't posted a ton but I've "loved" a lot of posts. Many of the things I've wanted to post I have searched and found that they were already posted, therefore leading me to not posting. Also, I only comment off and on when I feel what I have to say is actually important or could be helpful in some way. But this board has been a great support for me as a FTM.
And that's something we'd need to decide here. Personally, I think someone needs to have a presence on TB board in order to be in the fb group. I don't think the post count needs to be obnoxiously high, but liking posts (for me), isn't enough. Though I suppose this is something we should get others' opinions on...
BFP #1 5/12/12; EDD 1/20/13; Eliana Grace born 1/25/13
I would be interested since I've been involved with this group from the beginning. However, I can only mobile bump and don't post a ton, so I'm not sure if anyone actually recognizes me
That's the same with me! I only get to use the bump on mobile and try not to post a ton since typically my questions/concerns/thoughts are usually already posts.
^This. I prefer to FB and my profile is on lock as well.
The only thing I am nervous about is the fact that I haven't posted a ton but I've "loved" a lot of posts. Many of the things I've wanted to post I have searched and found that they were already posted, therefore leading me to not posting. Also, I only comment off and on when I feel what I have to say is actually important or could be helpful in some way. But this board has been a great support for me as a FTM.
And that's something we'd need to decide here. Personally, I think someone needs to have a presence on TB board in order to be in the fb group. I don't think the post count needs to be obnoxiously high, but liking posts (for me), isn't enough. Though I suppose this is something we should get others' opinions on...
The love it's on your profile are the number you've received on posts, not how many posts you've love titted, which I think can be a pretty good indicator of how active/well received you are on the board. This obviously isn't the exclusive deciding factor in who does/doesn't get into the group, but it's a number that can't be fudged by anyone (ex post counts can be messed with by spamming the board)
The only thing I am nervous about is the fact that I haven't posted a ton but I've "loved" a lot of posts. Many of the things I've wanted to post I have searched and found that they were already posted, therefore leading me to not posting. Also, I only comment off and on when I feel what I have to say is actually important or could be helpful in some way. But this board has been a great support for me as a FTM.
And that's something we'd need to decide here. Personally, I think someone needs to have a presence on TB board in order to be in the fb group. I don't think the post count needs to be obnoxiously high, but liking posts (for me), isn't enough. Though I suppose this is something we should get others' opinions on...
I mean I personally have posted a few times each month since I joined on 3/31...and I've replied a few times a month as well, but typically I've always tried not to post too much if what I have to say isn't as helpful or important to the OP. I've posted some things but as I've said before, many of what I've wanted to post has at times already been posted and posting repeat (so very similar) discussions is frowned upon (understandably so).
DH and I: Dating: 08/2008, Engaged: 02/2012, and Married: 03/13!
Has been a member of the bump for (undetermined length but 30 days works as long as the poster is actively engaged on the board)
Has been an active member of D14 for (again undetermined, see member of the bump)
Yes, these all sound perfect to me. I'd say you need to be a member for AT LEATS 30 days (though I'd be open to longer). I don't think the post count should be TOO high or unattainable since people obviously have lives, but if you're recognizable, then your post count is probably good enough.
I still think we need a cap. I personally think 100 max is a good amount. It still sounds like a lot, but the members will add up quickly.
BFP #1 5/12/12; EDD 1/20/13; Eliana Grace born 1/25/13
@brittandjp since it was your idea, how should we go about choosing group admins? also 3 isn't the magic number, but it definitely needs to be an odd number so that there'll be tie breakers in the event not everyone agrees on something
I think 3 is the perfect number. It needs to be odd and can be chaotic if there are too many admins. If we decided later that this wasn't working, we can always make adjustments. Nothing is permanent.
As for choosing admins, I'd be happy to start the group (unless anyone has a problem with this). Those that have expressed interest in being admin include @NikkiMN143, @JaymeeLH, @BrittP10, all of which I recognize and would be happy to admin with. Though that means there are 4 of us. So, one would need to step down or we'd need to go with 5 and have another (frequent) bumpie join us.
I think @JunkieBrewster offered too. We could do five - which would get is a good overall idea of who is recognized
I wouldnt mind helping! I am on FB a lot throughout the day, and have been admin in lots of other groups, ( book club, a parenting group, cloth diaper group, our local moms group) so I know how the settings and logistics of the group/settings etc work.
The only thing I am nervous about is the fact that I haven't posted a ton but I've "loved" a lot of posts. Many of the things I've wanted to post I have searched and found that they were already posted, therefore leading me to not posting. Also, I only comment off and on when I feel what I have to say is actually important or could be helpful in some way. But this board has been a great support for me as a FTM.
And that's something we'd need to decide here. Personally, I think someone needs to have a presence on TB board in order to be in the fb group. I don't think the post count needs to be obnoxiously high, but liking posts (for me), isn't enough. Though I suppose this is something we should get others' opinions on...
The love it's on your profile are the number you've received on posts, not how many posts you've love titted, which I think can be a pretty good indicator of how active/well received you are on the board. This obviously isn't the exclusive deciding factor in who does/doesn't get into the group, but it's a number that can't be fudged by anyone (ex post counts can be messed with by spamming the board)
Ohhh, I didn't know! Sorry! I just know that I love a lot of things on here haha so I just guessed that's what the love it count was.
DH and I: Dating: 08/2008, Engaged: 02/2012, and Married: 03/13!
@brittandjp since it was your idea, how should we go about choosing group admins? also 3 isn't the magic number, but it definitely needs to be an odd number so that there'll be tie breakers in the event not everyone agrees on something
I think 3 is the perfect number. It needs to be odd and can be chaotic if there are too many admins. If we decided later that this wasn't working, we can always make adjustments. Nothing is permanent.
As for choosing admins, I'd be happy to start the group (unless anyone has a problem with this). Those that have expressed interest in being admin include @NikkiMN143, @JaymeeLH, @BrittP10, all of which I recognize and would be happy to admin with. Though that means there are 4 of us. So, one would need to step down or we'd need to go with 5 and have another (frequent) bumpie join us.
I think @JunkieBrewster offered too. We could do five - which would get is a good overall idea of who is recognized
But if you recognize the bumper shouldn't that count to, I recognize kaylam and cadg screen names, I don't know who kellyo is though.
---damn quote box---
Yes that's why being recognized is on the list, I'm right there with you as far as who I do and don't recognize.
You can even make a file where you keep real names to Bump names, so you know who is who; voluntarily, of course, but I cant see why anyone in the group would have an issue with everyone else knowing their bump name
I love all of the discussion that you ladies have already had! I'm late to the party tonight but I would consider it, knowing now that other group members wouldn't be able to see any more on my profile than a random person would. Thanks to those of you who are stepping up and setting some criteria as well. I agree that setting certain criteria and either you meet it or you don't might be easier than going with who's recognizable.
I would probably join but not friend anyone just yet. I am friends with people from DD"s BMB but that FB group didn't start up until our LOs were about a year old. Even then one of the regulars (reg on TB too) went BSC.
I would be interested since I've been involved with this group from the beginning. However, I can only mobile bump and don't post a ton, so I'm not sure if anyone actually recognizes me
^^Ditto!! I've tried to be a little more active with commenting and such lately, but I know I don't post or comment nearly as much as a lot of other people do. I only mobile Bump in the evenings (like right now), so I'm not around much. BUT I'm on FB multiple times a day. I'm part of a FB group of May 2012 moms, too. I find it so much easier to interact on FB because I'm on there a lot to begin with. I'd definitely be interested in a D14 FB group if you'd have me!
I believe with a secret group you need to be added by a friend. I'm an admin for a closed group, and I can approve people that request to join (you can do a search for a closed group and see it exists), but I can't add people to the group if they don't request it without being friends with them.
A secret group is definitely the most "secure" (by Facebook standards), but I'm not sure people would be willing to friend a stranger first to be added.
This is true, I've seen it work on other boards that an admin will send a friend request to the person requesting to join the group, add them to the group, then they remove said person from their friend list.
I believe with a secret group you need to be added by a friend. I'm an admin for a closed group, and I can approve people that request to join (you can do a search for a closed group and see it exists), but I can't add people to the group if they don't request it without being friends with them.
A secret group is definitely the most "secure" (by Facebook standards), but I'm not sure people would be willing to friend a stranger first to be added.
This is correct, so you would friend an admin and then unfriend them immediately after joining the group. That's how we did it on J12.
Also I'm super lame and 90% of my fb posts are my 2yo and 90% of my active liking and commenting friends are tb girls lol.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
I think at this point I would be good with a FB group. My profile is pretty tight, and it is a million times easier for me to upload pics and shit to FB, cause I know you all are dying to see my random pics...
I believe with a secret group you need to be added by a friend. I'm an admin for a closed group, and I can approve people that request to join (you can do a search for a closed group and see it exists), but I can't add people to the group if they don't request it without being friends with them.
A secret group is definitely the most "secure" (by Facebook standards), but I'm not sure people would be willing to friend a stranger first to be added.
You can add by email, too. We could make a google form for people to fill out, and the 5 admins would be the only people with access to your email address.
sorry to those that don't recognize me...I've never done an introduction but I would be more then willing to. I do however comment on posts and have been a member of the bump for awhile...I'm also in another bump fb group for my 18 month old and tend to post more on there just because I can from my phone. I can't bump from my phone and can't go on the computer unless my toddler is sleeping because he always comes running over to my lap screaming "up up". How much do you have to post to be active? I try to come on the board about once or twice a week.. No big deal tho if I'm not approved
The only thing that concerns me is that there are already several people that have commented on this thread that I don't recognize. I think we would definitely need to look at posting and member history. Otherwise I worry that people will come out of the woodwork to get in the group.
I believe with a secret group you need to be added by a friend. I'm an admin for a closed group, and I can approve people that request to join (you can do a search for a closed group and see it exists), but I can't add people to the group if they don't request it without being friends with them.
A secret group is definitely the most "secure" (by Facebook standards), but I'm not sure people would be willing to friend a stranger first to be added.
This is true, I've seen it work on other boards that an admin will send a friend request to the person requesting to join the group, add them to the group, then they remove said person from their friend list.
Has been a member of the bump for (undetermined length but 30 days works as long as the poster is actively engaged on the board)
Has been an active member of D14 for (again undetermined, see member of the bump)
I think this is a great list!
This could be a stupid question...probably is, but how are you going to "recognize" members wanting to join since a lot of bumpies have sig names that have nothing to do with their real name on Facebook?
The recognize factor is here on TB, whether it be a comment on the thread or a PM requesting to join, as has been pointed out there are a few people already coming out of the woodwork who are looking to join but aren't necessarily recognizable by all members. Which actually brings me to another point, if someone comments on a thread regarding joining the group and several people express concern about that person, how are we as admins going to handle that?
I agree with what several people have said. I would be interested in trying a FB group. I am on there much more than I am on here. I have been trying to be more active and post more, but I am a quiet person to begin with so I don't post a whole lot. I usually don't post unless I feel like I can make a good comment. Much like real life....
I would be open to it as well. I am currently on a mommy2mommy board for my city that I was invited to on Facebook. It is private and a great/easy place to ask questions about pregnancy or parenting. I don't personally know most of the people but some of them I do. It is much easier to use/navigate.
Has been a member of the bump for (undetermined length but 30 days works as long as the poster is actively engaged on the board)
Has been an active member of D14 for (again undetermined, see member of the bump)
I think this is a great list!
This could be a stupid question...probably is, but how are you going to "recognize" members wanting to join since a lot of bumpies have sig names that have nothing to do with their real name on Facebook?
If they made a google form, anyone wanting to join would fill out a form that only admins can see with bump name, and your email address they can add you without friending you.
I'm not sure how I feel about it. That would involve giving my real name to internet strangers... And to be honest, I just don't think I'm that trusting. I like the relative anonymity offered by this forum. I feel like I'm already fairly guarded about what I post here, once you put things in writing they can get out and hurt you later. If I were posting under my real name and face I'd need to be even more careful. I know it's not the same as posting naked pictures online or anything, but I don't ever want students I teach to hear about my uterus or cervical mucous or anything... That's just information they (and most others) don't need to have about me.
I'm with you, @gradschoolmom1234. Although I'm aware that nothing on the Internet is truly private, I like that I can be totally candid here without my full name being automatically attached to it.
I'm the same way about this. Everything on lockdown. In addition, I actually changed my FB last name to my middle name years ago. I am a teacher and a grad student, and I was tired of my students "finding" me. I wouldn't join a FB group, but I wouldn't feel left out if there was one, I assume it wouldn't be talked about on here, and several of us would still stay on here to post and stuff?
I get why others might want it, but I have a general lack of faith in humankind, so I have to sit this out, too. Thanks for not being pushy or creepy about it. Also, I've even organized GTGs on here, one on TTCAL and one way back before on theknot. I was fine with that when it was in person and in public.
TTCAL Siggy Challenge: "He's my favorite. His birthday is the same as mine almost"
Missing my little one lost at 9 weeks on 2.24.13. brokenhearted but not broken...
d&c 5/21/13... Still Healing, Still Standing...
MMC discovered 10/2/2013, TWINS... d&c 10/7/2013. I still miss you, little ones.
Surgery December 2013 to remove a 10+cm fibroid... Open myomectomy. Benched for 3-9 months... Will TTC summer Summer 2014 we hope!
Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me?
I believe with a secret group you need to be added by a friend. I'm an admin for a closed group, and I can approve people that request to join (you can do a search for a closed group and see it exists), but I can't add people to the group if they don't request it without being friends with them.
A secret group is definitely the most "secure" (by Facebook standards), but I'm not sure people would be willing to friend a stranger first to be added.
You can add by email, too. We could make a google form for people to fill out, and the 5 admins would be the only people with access to your email address.
Your e-mail has to be searchable by public though, I know I have mine locked down to just friends.
No, it sends you an actual invite to your email inbox that says "You've been asked to join xxx group, click this link to join"
Then, you have to be approved by admin, then you're a member.
This will always happen. Even 2 years from now. Once fb is mentioned a lot of lurkers come out.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
The only thing that concerns me is that there are already several people that have commented on this thread that I don't recognize. I think we would definitely need to look at posting and member history. Otherwise I worry that people will come out of the woodwork to get in the group.
Re: Facebook Group
I think 3 is the perfect number. It needs to be odd and can be chaotic if there are too many admins. If we decided later that this wasn't working, we can always make adjustments. Nothing is permanent.
As for choosing admins, I'd be happy to start the group (unless anyone has a problem with this). Those that have expressed interest in being admin include @NikkiMN143, @JaymeeLH, @BrittP10, all of which I recognize and would be happy to admin with. Though that means there are 4 of us. So, one would need to step down or we'd need to go with 5 and have another (frequent) bumpie join us.
BFP #1 5/12/12; EDD 1/20/13; Eliana Grace born 1/25/13
BFP #2 12/11/13; EDD 8/23/14; M/C 6 weeks
BFP #3 4/3/14; EDD 12/13/14
BFP #1 5/12/12; EDD 1/20/13; Eliana Grace born 1/25/13
BFP #2 12/11/13; EDD 8/23/14; M/C 6 weeks
BFP #3 4/3/14; EDD 12/13/14
Yes, these all sound perfect to me. I'd say you need to be a member for AT LEATS 30 days (though I'd be open to longer). I don't think the post count should be TOO high or unattainable since people obviously have lives, but if you're recognizable, then your post count is probably good enough.
I still think we need a cap. I personally think 100 max is a good amount. It still sounds like a lot, but the members will add up quickly.
BFP #1 5/12/12; EDD 1/20/13; Eliana Grace born 1/25/13
BFP #2 12/11/13; EDD 8/23/14; M/C 6 weeks
BFP #3 4/3/14; EDD 12/13/14
Yes, you're right. Sorry @JunkieBrewster! I think 5 works.
If everyone is okay with that, then the admins would be myself, @JunkieBrewster, @NikkiMN143, @JaymeeLH, and @BrittP10.
BFP #1 5/12/12; EDD 1/20/13; Eliana Grace born 1/25/13
BFP #2 12/11/13; EDD 8/23/14; M/C 6 weeks
BFP #3 4/3/14; EDD 12/13/14
D14 November Siggy Challenge: The feels of 3rd trimester...
Also I'm super lame and 90% of my fb posts are my 2yo and 90% of my active liking and commenting friends are tb girls lol.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
I'm not hungry, I'm HUUUNNNNNGGGRRRRRYYYY! NOW!
Dec 2014 Dec Siggy, Free For All
Big E- 2008
Miss M- 2011
Baby Z- 2012
Baby Smoosh, Due Dec 2014
I'm the same way about this. Everything on lockdown. In addition, I actually changed my FB last name to my middle name years ago. I am a teacher and a grad student, and I was tired of my students "finding" me. I wouldn't join a FB group, but I wouldn't feel left out if there was one, I assume it wouldn't be talked about on here, and several of us would still stay on here to post and stuff?
I get why others might want it, but I have a general lack of faith in humankind, so I have to sit this out, too. Thanks for not being pushy or creepy about it. Also, I've even organized GTGs on here, one on TTCAL and one way back before on theknot. I was fine with that when it was in person and in public.
TTCAL Siggy Challenge: "He's my favorite. His birthday is the same as mine almost"
Missing my little one lost at 9 weeks on 2.24.13. brokenhearted but not broken...
d&c 5/21/13... Still Healing, Still Standing...
MMC discovered 10/2/2013, TWINS... d&c 10/7/2013. I still miss you, little ones.
Surgery December 2013 to remove a 10+cm fibroid... Open myomectomy. Benched for 3-9 months...
Will TTC summer Summer 2014 we hope!
Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me?
PgAL and PAL always welcome...Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14