Things I Wish I knew Before TTC

BumpJackie

Hi Everyone!

We're working on an article and would love to hear your feedback on things you wish you knew before TTC.

Do you wish you knew how long it can take? What gross things surprised you? Have you stopped everything at a given moment to have sex because you were ovulating?

Let us know and you may be included on our site!

Thanks!
BeeJ

lyn619gem

What's TTC stand for?

I'm in my second trimester but just signed into thebump today.

shindylahoe

Trying to conceive

bf43005

That it can take a lot shorter than you expect.  People will try to rub you like you are some house pet.  It's ok to not feel a motherly connection to your chubby stomach and you don't need to talk to it but none of that makes you care about the coming baby any less and there isn't anything wrong with you.

abnelsen22

I wish I had known how sick I would get (still throwing up at 25 weeks, vertigo, bronchitis, chronic migraines, etc.).

I'm kind of glad I didn't know, but I would have been able to better prepare myself, my relationship, and my career.

aminalex

I wish I knew that my stomach is sore pretty much all the time (like i did a bunch of crunches). I sneeze and have the sniffles more than I EVER did pre-pregnancy. That you can do a lot of the same things you could do pre-pregnancy, like work out and get busy with your partner. I was scared at the beginning that I would do something I shouldn't, but quickly learned that as long as you're not compromising your balance, you're good to go.  Oh! and no deli meats?!!? If i had known this one, I would have savored each and every ham sandwich while I could.

kikimeemee

The whole process of TTC and being pregnant the first time leaves me confused and clueless. Conception can happen on days you swear are nowhere near ovulation, and it never occurred to me that while pregnant I would have no clue what was going on "in there." You're not suddenly all knowing because you're pregnant!

Michelleashby

I wish I knew about the constant worry that starts the second you conceive. Now I know I'll be worrying about this little one forever! Also the heartburn and how awful it is, that morning sickness is all day sickness and how every day you can get a different set of symptoms!

ConversationFear

I wish I would have known how poorly I would react to higher hormone levels. I had minimal morning sickness, but I cry every. day. My emotions are all over the place, and I am so tired of being depressed and mad about everything all the time. I try to gather some perspective and start crying again - most of the time over nothing. I would say it's been the hardest thing about being pregnant for me.

I also agree with PP to be absolutely sure you are ready right at this moment in time to have a baby when TTC. We were passively trying (no birth control, but not tracking anything) and DH and I thought it would take at least a year - it did for all of our other friends. It happened the first time we didn't use any BC.

KatieTigerLily17

I wish I knew not to take the meds I was on for a condition I was diagnosed with prior to my second miscarriage. I didn't know that I was even pregnant until it was too late, likewise for the pregnancy warnings.

ScubaMomma

At 42 years of age I discovered I was pregnant for the second time.  I was still breast feeding my 2 year old son.  My husband was away (military) and my son became sick.  He wouldn't eat anymore (his throat was inflamed and sore) and so he only wanted to nurse.  He seemed so comforted in nursing so it seemed like that was all he did, throughout the night (which he had not done in a very long time) and through the day as well.  I do recall feeling my uterus contracting at times but I did not think much of it.  I was so exhausted and not sleeping well.
I went in for my first ultrasound the week after he was sick.  There was no heartbeat.  They said I was 9.5 weeks along but the baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks.
Imagine the guilt.  
Now I know that many, many women breastfeed one or two children during pregnancy.  I just feel that the combination of my exhaustion and constant nursing played a part in this loss.
The doctor I spoke with told me there was a good chance it was due to the baby being malnourished.
I struggled with this for so long.
I am 12 weeks pregnant now and I did continue to nurse my son, but it was only for a couple of mins before bed, only if he requested. He has stopped requesting.  
I feel so blessed to have another opportunity to have a child.  Motherhood is so incredible and there is nothing better than being my son's mommy.

snarkylibrarian

Get off birth control way before you start TTC. My cycles didn't get back to normal for almost an entire year!

Make sure you're both ready! DH and I were trying to conceive last summer, but he wasn't really ready yet, so it was often a struggle and we fought a lot on the days I was ovulating and only had sex a few times a month around ovulation. I was charting like a madwoman, taking ovulation tests, but not getting pregnant. We tried for 3 months and weren't successful, so we decided to take a break.

When both of you are on board to TTC and if you aren't a couple that has sex daily or every other day, it is easier if you both take responsibility for trying. I felt so alone the first time we tried and our relationship suffered, because I was demanding sex. At first I tried initiating in more sexy ways and not mentioning anything about ovulating, but if I got rejected because he wasn't in the mood, it felt like the end of the world if I was ovulating. Eventually, I decided to forgo seduction and was waving a stick in front of him and saying, "WE HAVE TO HAVE SEX NOW".

The second time we started TTC, I showed him my phone app, so he could check my most fertile days which were highlighted on the calendar. Without me pressuring him to have sex, we were able to relax and have fun with it. We had sex every other day during my fertile window (3 days before ovulation-1 day past ovulation) and got pregnant the second month we tried.

I know this won't work for everyone as some guys are grossed out by women's menstrual periods, etc. but it worked better for me, especially when sex needs to be more "his idea". Some guys who have never had performance anxiety issues may develop them when TTC.

hermanavelasquez

I wish I would not been on a diet when ttc. Anyway now there are many days when I just cant eat anything and I lose 10 pounds in the first weeks without any effort. Now I feel happy because I am gaining weight!

AlexandraBreigh

I'm a little angry at your doctor for telling you that. The fact is, no one knows why a baby dies in utero and that was a harsh thing to say to you. There are people in third world countries that don't have enough food and still carry a baby to term so don't think you did anything to cause what happened.

cookinggirl15

I tried for 8 months, stopped trying, and got pregnant!
I wish I would have known about morning sickness, I knew it was bad, just not this bad! It's constant nausea day and night, to the point I want to throw up, just to see if it brings relief!

bunty18

How intense morning sickness is! Week 15 and it's still here in full force
And about your teeth and gums...Although now i finally understand why we get free dental care until baby is 1.

AliciaPhelps

I have been concerned as well because I have lost 19 lbs since my first OB appointment and I am at 22 weeks and still not getting any gain.  But the baby is growing at the proper rate and everything on the ultrasound looked good, so I guess Im okay.

nickicl

Just because baby #1 happened easily doesn't mean it will work out the same next time.

Baby #2 was a long and painful road with previous losses and intense sickness this time. Hopefully all is well going forward though.

Also, I personally, found the ovulation kits to be a pain and not very helpful. It was only when I threw my hands up and decided not to try that one day it just happened. I can understand why people will take those steps if they need to, but I would advise that it's a lot more fun to just have a go at it without thinking baby or not and see. So if all is well maybe try not to worry so much at first?

JJohnsonbaby

What is TTC

eriberri88

That being 25 and 5'9 means I don't look pregnant .. at all, not even now at almost 22 weeks! I just look fluffy and have a very small bump but nothing anyone notices customers at work are always shocked when I tell them the good news. I know in a couple of weeks I'll start blowing up but I just want my cute bump already !

beth4josh

I wish someone told me that once you find out you are pregnant nothing else seams as exciting and that due date seams like forever away. Oh and I wish someone gave me a heads up about the all day morning sickness and it doesn't all ways go away after the first trimester.

pumpkinxoxo14

I know how you felt! I suffered a miscarriage before, and was deathly afraid when I became pregnant again!   but I am almost at 16 weeks and counting the days till my little one shows there face to the world!

pumpkinxoxo14

Trying to Consevie

SarahRodd

After trying to conceive for two years (after coming off birth control pills) we are FINALLY expecting! So excited, but I do wish someone would have told me HOW awful "morning sickness" could be. Whatever man came up with that name is a big fat liar My energy levels are all over the place and never mind aching bones far along, tylenol has been my best friend since week 12 and I got the okay to take it when needed! And these migraines... WOW!

baly3225

I wish I know how horrible my immune system would be! I cannot wait to build it back up again!

Snephals

It took us three years to conceive....i wanted this baby but I wish someone would have told me its normal to have days where you question if getting pregnant was the right thing....I felt guilty and miserable for weeks and never reached out for fear of harsh judgement. I also had panic and anxiety attacks even though I felt fine...I also panicked big time when we found out it was a girl. I instantly replayed the horrible things I said to my mom and felt guilty about thinking I couldn't do this anymore and felt bad that I did not cryfor joy in the ultra sound room as I had thought I would for months leading to it. You dont get excited about all things all the time. Sometimes you have to let it sink in. im excited to meet my little girl now

Fannz

I wish I knew about SPD.... It sucks!!!

lt+aw

I wish I'd known that pregnancy symptoms can be the same as your period symptoms.  Cramps and breast pain.

summererobinson

It can take longer than you think. 12 months is NORMAL. Also, sometimes things are wrong and you don’t get pregnant like you thought you would. This is true even if you already had a child. Secondary infertility is a real thing.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

jessicaL104

i wish i new that misscarreing was soo coman this is my 4 th pregnancy and i have 1 child already im 12 weeks now everthing is good

Bigboneded

I wish I had known about The Bump, and learned my way around it :-) Having the wealth of knowledge and support available made TTCAL much more hopeful and bearable. I wish I had known TTC can take a toll on him, too, after a few rounds!

tarala

I wish I could have known how long it was going to take and that infertility is something that we could conquer.

audreyz

1. I wish I had known I would be treated as a vessel, and no longer a human being with a working brain.
2. I wish I knew how much unsolicited advice I would receive.
3. I wish I knew how difficult it would be to find a job and how guilty I would feel "hiding" the fact that I was pregnant during interviews.
4. I wish I knew how exhausting pregnancy would be (I already knew it's different for everyone, but you never know how you're going to be until you finally get knocked up!).
5. I wish I knew more about weight gain-I knew I would gain weight, I just didn't know how fast I would gain it! I was a runner before I got pregnant... I've been running a lot less since I my BFP because I've been too physically exhausted to run (which is probably contributing to my rapid weight gain).

That's all. :-)

melmarie4

I was surprised it happened so fast. Went off birth control and got pregnant before I had a normal period. I had read it could take 2 or 3 months for my body to even start ovulating again but my cycle went right back to normal.

laceyannelong

I wish I'd known more about how tired I would be. I had NO idea how exhausting it was especially in the first trimester. 

Also, I wish I had known more about FMLA and how to get information from my actual employer. I didn't realize that in addition to saving for baby's actual needs we would need to save to keep our bills in line while I'm with LO.

shellybean3788

I wish I had known that the child I would conceive would live at least this long. 

After several miscarriages, my first trimester was hell with this one. I'm only now starting to actually believe I'm going to be a mother, and I get through my days without worrying (most of the time).

firsttimeaussiemum

shellybean3788 said:

I wish I had known that the child I would conceive would live at least this long. 

After several miscarriages, my first trimester was hell with this one. I'm only now starting to actually believe I'm going to be a mother, and I get through my days without worrying (most of the time).

Oh you poor thing. I hope all goes well with this bub and you get to hold the little one in yours arms at the end if it all. Good luck hun

emily.hunt.1

I wish I had known how fast it would happen!  All you hear is how long it can take to conceive, but for me, it was right away.  The first time I got pregnant, it happened as soon as the birth control pills were out of my system, i.e. the month after I stopped taking them.  I ended up having a miscarriage, but now with the second pregnancy, my husband had been living in another state for work for nine months, and three weeks after he moved back in with me, I found out I was pregnant again.

AmberJeanne1993

Well, i wasn't necessarily trying but, my situation is a bit different. I'm just turning 21 years old and had an IUD for 3 years. It came out in January of this year and I didn't go to the doctor, I felt fine so I shrugged it off, and wasn't careful or too stressed on immediately getting another form of contriceptive with my partner of going on 3 years. When I was 19 I got a tattoo done by a sketchy "under the table" artist a friend reccomended, come to find out now that I'm pregnant I contracted Hepatitis C. In this case, I wish I had first of all followed up with a doctor, but initially never have been so stupid to do what I had done. I understand I have to take responsibility for my actions, and I've come to terms with my repercussions, but am terrified for my baby now.

amieeyoung

Just how sucky pregnancy carpal tunnel could be. This is my second pregnancy so I knew morning sickness meant all day sickness, but this carpal tunnel is painful and makes it hard to do certain things without taking breaks. Also, it makes it even harder to sleep (as if that wasn't already being compromised by multiple bathroom trips lol).

diamond7986

I wish I knew it would happen in our very first month of trying!