Very similar to this one but they came up with some different things. I thought it was interesting to see what stood out for them once they've actually had their babies and had a couple of months to reflect after the fact.
Thanks for sharing this!
One mama said, "as excited as I was to be the only one in my body I felt empty for a while."
I strongly anticipate this happening to me. I'm going miss feeling the kicks and hiccups and happy wiggles in my belly.
1) I wish someone would've told me my belly would grow fur.
2) I wish I could go back and tell my 1st tri self to enjoy the high heels and pre-maternity clothing while I still could. Sweats and maternity clothes weren't necessary the second I got pregnant (though they were comfy).
3) I wish I'd have understood that pregnancy is different for everyone. I'd heard so many stories of pregnant women being really emotional and maternal (obviously I wasn't exposed to many pregnant women prior to getting pregnant). This was not the case for me. The only people not online I can stand to be around is MH and my good friend. I'm seriously just a mean pregnant person.
How pregnant you can still look when you leave the hospital! I had no idea.
I also wish I had more of a heads up about the hormonal crash PP. Mine didn't last long after either of my first two, but it was INTENSE. I felt like my world was falling apart, had major anxiety, etc. I expected to just feel sad.
I LOLed at the title. Three pregnancies in, and I don't feel like an expert at all. All of mine have been completely different. I don't know that any advice I gave myself after the first two would apply to this one.
Wise current self to hopeful 1st tri self: "It's normal to feel like your body is going to break in half down the middle. It's normal and it's okay." ::pats 1st tri self on the head::
Wise current self to current self: But really it's not. I had no idea that my ligaments stretching would feel like my body is going to break, separate, and stretch completely apart. And it's just not okay. IT'S WEIRD.
YES!! I thought that since I got through the first trimester fairly easily, that the rest of the pregnancy would be smooth sailing...WRONG! Round ligament pain, achy joints, and now my rib cage feeling like its gonna rip apart is way worse than I ever thought it would be!
I wish someone had told me that it's ok to find pregnancy really weird. You basically have an alien (or two) living inside of you parasitically sucking the life out of you while your body changes in myriad ways you never expected. Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing, mind boggling process, but also really weird to go through.
I wish someone would have told me that it's ok to emotionally feel like you just want to be done with the pregnancy, even though you mentally know that you need to keep them in there for as long as possible for their health and safety.
I realized recently that I wish we hadn't announced LO's name so soon (as soon as we revealed the gender on FB, right after Christmas, at 19 weeks). Everyone has started calling him by his name except for me. It's like what PP said about inside baby/outside baby. I haven't met him yet, so how can you act like you know him?
Plus, we've decided to change the name, and since we "announced" it on Facebook, I feel silly because I have to un-announce it. My job makes me a bit of a public figure within our community, in a weird way. It's one of those "If I didn't see it on FB, it didn't happen" kind of situations. It can be really annoying. DH and I know the new name we're going with, but we're keeping it a secret from everyone else outside our circle.
I was dead set on the first name we chose since the BFP, and didn't expect to change it. Even if people had warned me not to announce the name, I probably would have. Heck, I read plenty of reasons not to in various threads here and still did it. I guess it's one of those things you have to figure out for yourself. Rookie mistake. I'll know better next time.
I agree with the boob thing. LUCKLY my husband did a funny lil photo shoot of me when I found out I was preggo. I still had my flat lil tummy and my cute lil nipples... then I was like pff why do you want nakey photos of me.. but now i cherish those photos!
I wish someone would've told me it was alright to feel like you were going to be a bad mom, that it was okay to feel that way. I always looked at myself like it would be nothing to take care of a baby but as soon as I found out I was pregnant all these fears and anxieties came on full force. I was scared Id hurt her on accident, it was scary. She isnt here yet but I know it will be ok, i read the stories of past moms feeling the same way and that its not a crime to have those thoughts, its just normal.
I wish someone would've warned me that my inlaws would toss out "know it all comments" and make me cry. Someone should have just warned me that Id be crying in general all the time!
I wish I knew that regardless of how healthy and fit I was before pregnancy, in my case it didn't matter. I competed in fitness competitions, ate well, and ran races. I was a normal sized fit person. Between hyperemisis and pregnancy syncope I've been unable to do anything. No work, no sports/fitness, nothing. My activities now include trips to the ER and doctors visits.
I wish I didn't feel the desire to throat punch anyone who tells me pregnancy is great and wonderfully magical. It's not for me, but I know I need to be greatful to be pregnant at all. Some women lose their babies or can't conceive. Even though I regularly ask to be put into a medically induced coma, I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Delivery! I'm counting down the days until I'm out of camp hell. I'm over being sick and look forward to my little guy being on the outside, healthy.
I wish someone had told me that it was normal and even okay to have some unhappy moments where I found myself not looking forward to motherhood. Life is changing in a big way and it's effing SCARY. How could you not be affected by that at some point? Just acknowledge it, accept that you're having some negative feelings, and move on. It doesn't mean you love your child any less or aren't suited to parenthood.
One thing I'm glad someone did tell me is that the outside baby is usually nothing like the inside baby you've grown to love -- it's literally like they're two separate beings, and there's an actual grieving period shortly after birth during which you must mourn the "loss" of that sacred anticipatory pregnant state and your inside baby as you learn to love the tiny stranger who's suddenly demanding things of you that at times you may feel ill equipped to provide.
The boob thing. Definitely the boob thing. Especially for my husband. I don't think he realizes that they're never going to be the same. I try to warn him but I don't think he hears it.
My husband asked me kindly the other day if my nipples were going to "stay dark like that". I tried to answer him respectfully knowing deep down that I don't think he was liking the way they look.
Re: Now that we're all experts...
One mama said, "as excited as I was to be the only one in my body I felt empty for a while."
I strongly anticipate this happening to me. I'm going miss feeling the kicks and hiccups and happy wiggles in my belly.
That One Gal From Alaska
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
I wish someone would have told me that it's ok to emotionally feel like you just want to be done with the pregnancy, even though you mentally know that you need to keep them in there for as long as possible for their health and safety.
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I wish I didn't feel the desire to throat punch anyone who tells me pregnancy is great and wonderfully magical. It's not for me, but I know I need to be greatful to be pregnant at all. Some women lose their babies or can't conceive. Even though I regularly ask to be put into a medically induced coma, I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Delivery! I'm counting down the days until I'm out of camp hell. I'm over being sick and look forward to my little guy being on the outside, healthy.