Stay at Home Moms

Is your 3yo not in school?

bingbongsmamabingbongsmama
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edited December 2013 in Stay at Home Moms
Because of when my DD's bday is, she starts kindergarten at 5.5 so I can start her in pre-school at age 4 and she will still get a full year of it before kindergarten starts.

So I will have her home with me another year. I do take her on play dates (we're involved in mom groups/play groups) the library, church, and a scheduled class I sign her up for once a week.

I feel like she gets plenty of socializing with other kids, just not in a classroom setting but most 3yo's I'm noticing are doing a 2 or 3 morning a week program. Is it really necessary for a kid to be in a classroom setting at this age?

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Re: Is your 3yo not in school?

  • I don't think it's necessary assuming your child is well developing across the board, very sociable, etc. I think for a kid that's a little behind the curve with language compared to their peers, struggles with fine motor skills or is really reserved socially really benefits from having professionals keep an eye on their development everyday and providing help in the areas they need help with. Otherwise I think play groups are sufficient until four.
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    wife07mom09
  • No I don't think it is necessary. That being said both my kids were in preschool by that age. Like I said I don't think itmisnecessary, but I also think it can only help not hurt.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
    Cherryblossoms07
  • I think with the level of socializing she is able to do with kids her age 1 year of preschool would be plenty.

    I have my LO in preschool at 2 years old because we're in a very small town with nothing for 2 year olds to do except story time at the library.

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    Forever blessed through adoption! 7-17-11
  • It's not necessary but like you said a lot of kids are in school by that age. DD is the same way (Feb birthday which will put her in K at 5.5). I felt it was necessary to put her in a program this year (2.5). She needs the social interaction and I have a newborn and struggling to get them both out as much as I want. She goes 2 mornings a week for 2.5 hours. It's like a play date that I don't have to go to. She loves and I love it so it's a win win. Next year (3.5) she will go 3 mornings a week.
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  • Spin313Spin313
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    edited December 2013
    Both of my kids have March birthdays. DS just started kindergarten this year at 5.5. He had two years of preschool...two days a week at 3.5 and three days a week at 4.5. I liked the build up, and we were still able to do things together.

    This worked well for us and we will do the same with DD. We have a very active mom group, and still plan to do our play dates and activities.
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  • Spin313 said:

    Both of my kids have March birthdays. DS just started kindergarten this year at 5.5. He had two years of preschool...two days a week at 3.5 and three days a week at 4.5.

    This worked well for us and we will do the same with DD. I liked the build up, and we were still able to do things together.

    Do you think 1 year instead of the 2 would have made much difference for your LO?
  • I do think 2 years made a difference for my son. He is prek and there are 12 kids in his class. 10 this is their second year and 2 their first. Those who it is their second year are learning to read while those who it is their first are still learning letter sounds and proper letter formation. Stastically we know all kids basically catch up by second grade, but I did not want my kids playing catch up.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • @bingbongsmama:

    Yes and no. My kids are both super social and love learning. DS is having an awesome time in kindy with no issues. The preschool he attended is a Spanish Immersion school and the amount he picked up the second year vs the first year was huge. But DH is a teacher, and I'm a former teacher, so we've always incorporated learning and the importance of school in our home. One year might have been fine, but two was better.

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  • We are doing 2 years - technically both did/will start at 3 even though DD1 turned 4 3 weeks later and D2 will have turned 3 4 days earlier. I figure with heading off to full day kindergarten in a district where most kids are doing 2-4 year of a preschool setting, 1 would have not prepared them as well as 2. 

    E 9.08, V 8.11, #3 coming April 2014
  • I've been working on letters, number, shapes etc. and she's staring to recognize 3 letter words now and just turned 3.

    I think my main concern is if she'd be missing out on the structure of being in a classroom, if she needs it yet or not. She's good at sharing and waiting her turn but not sitting and listening, she's got jimmy legs lol
  • I do think 2 years made a difference for my son. He is prek and there are 12 kids in his class. 10 this is their second year and 2 their first. Those who it is their second year are learning to read while those who it is their first are still learning letter sounds and proper letter formation. Stastically we know all kids basically catch up by second grade, but I did not want my kids playing catch up.

    This. I would imagine it has to help some. This year DDs class is focused on social skills (taking turns, manners, sitting for circle time for a few mins). Next year the will do more school stuff (letters, numbers). She would still be focused on getting the social stuff down of she wasn't already in class this year.
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  • I've been working on letters, number, shapes etc. and she's staring to recognize 3 letter words now and just turned 3. I think my main concern is if she'd be missing out on the structure of being in a classroom, if she needs it yet or not. She's good at sharing and waiting her turn but not sitting and listening, she's got jimmy legs lol

    Really the least important part of a preschool program is the academic stuff. On the contrary I'd be on the lookout for a play based program. The benefit is the socialization without mom there, learning to listen to an adult outside of a sitter/family, and learning classroom rules. I don't think your child is doomed to be a socially awkward outcast who doesnt listen to teachers without two years of school but if you have the money two days a week really isn't going to hurt.
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    Spin313nosoup4uAngela814TobeMrsShavers
  • My older two only had/have one year of pre-k.  In hindsight, DS probably would have benefitted from an extra year at 3.  But DD probably could have skipped it completely and been just fine in kindergarten.
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    DS 3.12.08
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  • When you say play based, is that like a Montessori program? I've looked into a couple of local places, but haven't seen them describe their program as play based.
  • We are doing 2 years - technically both did/will start at 3 even though DD1 turned 4 3 weeks later and D2 will have turned 3 4 days earlier. I figure with heading off to full day kindergarten in a district where most kids are doing 2-4 year of a preschool setting, 1 would have not prepared them as well as 2. 

    This is a really really good point. In Our school district most kids do 2 years so I think it would have put my kids somewhat behind. FWIW a good preschool at this age is play based while still learning a ton. The are sponges right now.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • We are doing 2 years - technically both did/will start at 3 even though DD1 turned 4 3 weeks later and D2 will have turned 3 4 days earlier. I figure with heading off to full day kindergarten in a district where most kids are doing 2-4 year of a preschool setting, 1 would have not prepared them as well as 2. 

    This is a really really good point. In Our school district most kids do 2 years so I think it would have put my kids somewhat behind. FWIW a good preschool at this age is play based while still learning a ton. The are sponges right now.
    Like you said, even though they catch up, I'd rather them not have to. Even though most kids do go at 2 here, I admit, I didn't want to do that b/c I wasn't ready and had no interest. I'm sure they would have been fine taking it. 

    Most preschools are play based I'd think - OP, ours is just our church nursery school but it most definitely play based, work on social skills, etc. They do get to a little more academics by the 4 year old class, but still nothing major. 

    E 9.08, V 8.11, #3 coming April 2014
  • I feel that it's not necessary, but it can be very beneficial. My oldest did not start school until she was 4 and is doing very well both socially and academically in 1st grade. My younger daughter started preschool 2 mornings a week at 3 and it was necessary for her. She has a lot of trouble with new situations and experiences, so having two years of school with different teachers (who have very different styles) has been really necessary for her before starting elementary school.  My son will start at 3 if not before (I may return to work).

    Had we had the money to do it my oldest would have been in p/t school at 3. But we were on a very tight budget and living in Manhattan and unable to find a p/t program that was reasonably priced.
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  • DD2 will be almost six when she starts K because her birthday is in Nov. I plan on one year of preschool and am considering more. DD1 never did preschool and I wish I had with her. She hasn't struggled in K really, but she really could have benefited from a year of preschool. I do get concerned that our playdates and classes won't be stimulating enough at age 4, so maybe she'll get two years.

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  • When you say play based, is that like a Montessori program? I've looked into a couple of local places, but haven't seen them describe their program as play based.

    Montessori is a good example of play based, yes. We don't do Montessori but do a program that's similarly structured with mixed age classrooms, ample time for outdoor play/play with peers and self directed play at learning centers vs something more rigidly structured. I would advise you to tour a few, ask about a day in the life of a child there, and see what works for you.
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    bingbongsmama
  • M turns 3 in January. No one would accept him this year. Sooo he will go for two years still. 3.5, 4.5 and start at 5.5 kinder
  • I don't think it is necessary but can be beneficial. Both of mine only did 1 year of preschool and have both done really well in elementary school so far. I do think for social reasons DSc oils have benefited from 2 years as he is a more shy child and is just now starting to come out of his shell this year in1st grade. DDis in K this year and is doing great.
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  • KC_13 said: 

    Really the least important part of a preschool program is the academic stuff. On the contrary I'd be on the lookout for a play based program. The benefit is the socialization without mom there, learning to listen to an adult outside of a sitter/family, and learning classroom rules. I don't think your child is doomed to be a socially awkward outcast who doesnt listen to teachers without two years of school but if you have the money two days a week really isn't going to hurt.
    This is the reason why my boys were enrolled in a "Introduction to Preschool" class.  They had to be 2.5 by September to be in the class- and my boys turned 3 in November.  It is two mornings a week for two hours.  I wanted them to go to socialize with other non twin kids (my play group is from my twin club) and just get a feel for being in a classroom setting.  Nicholas has had the hardest time with these skills.  Since turning 3, Nicholas now also goes to the school district's preschool for his speech delay in the afternoon.   And according to his teacher- which I email with weekly- he is doing great with sitting, waiting, taking directions etc.  I am so pleased with this.   Next year I will be enrolling them both in the district's preschool- they can be in separate classrooms and I like the teachers, learning models, and whole setup that is used.  Plus these are kids that they will actually go to school with so they might be in their class when they go to kindergarten.
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  • JenS2203 said:

    DD2 will be almost six when she starts K because her birthday is in Nov. I plan on one year of preschool and am considering more. DD1 never did preschool and I wish I had with her. She hasn't struggled in K really, but she really could have benefited from a year of preschool. I do get concerned that our playdates and classes won't be stimulating enough at age 4, so maybe she'll get two years.

    I'm just curious, are the play dates through moms groups? In my moms groups the oldest kids are my DD's age and even they are in preschool a couple times a week. If this is the norm, she'll be the oldest by the time next year rolls around.
  • letranger said:

    M turns 3 in January. No one would accept him this year. Sooo he will go for two years still. 3.5, 4.5 and start at 5.5 kinder

    It's so odd to me that I am so close and pretty much every school has a 2 year old option. They're all through churches and synagogues, not sure what any others have; but there aren't many of those anyway.

    E 9.08, V 8.11, #3 coming April 2014
  • it really depends on the child. my youngest is in his 2nd year of preschool and he is actually behind. I was a bit surprised myself. at conferences the teacher assumed this was his first year in preschool. i explained he was in a 3/4 prek at a private school all last year. clearly he needs the 2 years and is still socially and developmentally behind :(

    I have seen marked improvement these past few months.
    CJ :-)
  • We also do 1 year of preschool and my older girls are doing great in school.

  • I agree, not necessary but beneficial. Our preschool is totally play-based. No learning to read or do sums or any of that. That's what kindergarten is for, IMO. But I think the 3 year old class was great for my kids. It was only two mornings a week, and they loved going.

    KC_13LalaMama81
  • edited December 2013
    Mine just turned 3, but is not in "school". Public PreK starts here at age 4 and that's when he will go to school. We did send him to a twice a week summer program last summer, so we may do that again next summer. He gets plenty of socialization with friends. He also goes to speech therapy twice a week in a small group. I stayed home because daycare was so expensive it wasn't worth it to work, so it wouldn't make sense for us to pay for private preschool (which is daycare around here) when there is a free four year old program when he turns four. ETA: Our state seems a little different than most. It's hard to find a private preschool program like you guys all seem to have. Since the public schools start free for everyone at age four, and most people work and put their kids in the daycares all day before that, there is little need for preschool programs. The daycares build curriculum into the daily programs for 2 and 3 year olds.
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  • DD2 will be almost six when she starts K because her birthday is in Nov. I plan on one year of preschool and am considering more. DD1 never did preschool and I wish I had with her. She hasn't struggled in K really, but she really could have benefited from a year of preschool. I do get concerned that our playdates and classes won't be stimulating enough at age 4, so maybe she'll get two years.
    I'm just curious, are the play dates through moms groups? In my moms groups the oldest kids are my DD's age and even they are in preschool a couple times a week. If this is the norm, she'll be the oldest by the time next year rolls around.
    No, these are weekly or every other week get togethers with a couple different sets of friends. We try to do one outing a month (zoo, park, etc), but typically we rotate homes. We have a big group of kids, 13 including mine, varying in ages from 6 mo to 5 years. I'm really lucky that all but one family in our group lives in my neighborhood. DD2 is right in the middle.

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