Is your 3yo not in school?

bingbongsmama · December 2013

Because of when my DD's bday is, she starts kindergarten at 5.5 so I can start her in pre-school at age 4 and she will still get a full year of it before kindergarten starts.

So I will have her home with me another year. I do take her on play dates (we're involved in mom groups/play groups) the library, church, and a scheduled class I sign her up for once a week.

I feel like she gets plenty of socializing with other kids, just not in a classroom setting but most 3yo's I'm noticing are doing a 2 or 3 morning a week program. Is it really necessary for a kid to be in a classroom setting at this age?

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2013

I don't think it's necessary assuming your child is well developing across the board, very sociable, etc. I think for a kid that's a little behind the curve with language compared to their peers, struggles with fine motor skills or is really reserved socially really benefits from having professionals keep an eye on their development everyday and providing help in the areas they need help with. Otherwise I think play groups are sufficient until four.

Andrewsgal · December 2013

No I don't think it is necessary. That being said both my kids were in preschool by that age. Like I said I don't think itmisnecessary, but I also think it can only help not hurt.

Spin313 · December 2013

Both of my kids have March birthdays. DS just started kindergarten this year at 5.5. He had two years of preschool...two days a week at 3.5 and three days a week at 4.5. I liked the build up, and we were still able to do things together.

This worked well for us and we will do the same with DD. We have a very active mom group, and still plan to do our play dates and activities.

bingbongsmama · December 2013

Spin313 said:
Both of my kids have March birthdays. DS just started kindergarten this year at 5.5. He had two years of preschool...two days a week at 3.5 and three days a week at 4.5.

This worked well for us and we will do the same with DD. I liked the build up, and we were still able to do things together.

Do you think 1 year instead of the 2 would have made much difference for your LO?

Andrewsgal · December 2013

I do think 2 years made a difference for my son. He is prek and there are 12 kids in his class. 10 this is their second year and 2 their first. Those who it is their second year are learning to read while those who it is their first are still learning letter sounds and proper letter formation. Stastically we know all kids basically catch up by second grade, but I did not want my kids playing catch up.

Spin313 · December 2013

@bingbongsmama:

Yes and no. My kids are both super social and love learning. DS is having an awesome time in kindy with no issues. The preschool he attended is a Spanish Immersion school and the amount he picked up the second year vs the first year was huge. But DH is a teacher, and I'm a former teacher, so we've always incorporated learning and the importance of school in our home. One year might have been fine, but two was better.

bingbongsmama · December 2013

I've been working on letters, number, shapes etc. and she's staring to recognize 3 letter words now and just turned 3.

I think my main concern is if she'd be missing out on the structure of being in a classroom, if she needs it yet or not. She's good at sharing and waiting her turn but not sitting and listening, she's got jimmy legs lol

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2013

bingbongsmama said:

I've been working on letters, number, shapes etc. and she's staring to recognize 3 letter words now and just turned 3. I think my main concern is if she'd be missing out on the structure of being in a classroom, if she needs it yet or not. She's good at sharing and waiting her turn but not sitting and listening, she's got jimmy legs lol

Really the least important part of a preschool program is the academic stuff. On the contrary I'd be on the lookout for a play based program. The benefit is the socialization without mom there, learning to listen to an adult outside of a sitter/family, and learning classroom rules. I don't think your child is doomed to be a socially awkward outcast who doesnt listen to teachers without two years of school but if you have the money two days a week really isn't going to hurt.

eaglesfan700 · December 2013

My older two only had/have one year of pre-k. In hindsight, DS probably would have benefitted from an extra year at 3. But DD probably could have skipped it completely and been just fine in kindergarten.

bingbongsmama · December 2013

When you say play based, is that like a Montessori program? I've looked into a couple of local places, but haven't seen them describe their program as play based.

Andrewsgal · December 2013

LalaMama81 said:

We are doing 2 years - technically both did/will start at 3 even though DD1 turned 4 3 weeks later and D2 will have turned 3 4 days earlier. I figure with heading off to full day kindergarten in a district where most kids are doing 2-4 year of a preschool setting, 1 would have not prepared them as well as 2.

This is a really really good point. In Our school district most kids do 2 years so I think it would have put my kids somewhat behind. FWIW a good preschool at this age is play based while still learning a ton. The are sponges right now.

penguingrrl · December 2013

I feel that it's not necessary, but it can be very beneficial. My oldest did not start school until she was 4 and is doing very well both socially and academically in 1st grade. My younger daughter started preschool 2 mornings a week at 3 and it was necessary for her. She has a lot of trouble with new situations and experiences, so having two years of school with different teachers (who have very different styles) has been really necessary for her before starting elementary school. My son will start at 3 if not before (I may return to work).

Had we had the money to do it my oldest would have been in p/t school at 3. But we were on a very tight budget and living in Manhattan and unable to find a p/t program that was reasonably priced.

jensriot · December 2013

DD2 will be almost six when she starts K because her birthday is in Nov. I plan on one year of preschool and am considering more. DD1 never did preschool and I wish I had with her. She hasn't struggled in K really, but she really could have benefited from a year of preschool. I do get concerned that our playdates and classes won't be stimulating enough at age 4, so maybe she'll get two years.

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2013

bingbongsmama said:

When you say play based, is that like a Montessori program? I've looked into a couple of local places, but haven't seen them describe their program as play based.

Montessori is a good example of play based, yes. We don't do Montessori but do a program that's similarly structured with mixed age classrooms, ample time for outdoor play/play with peers and self directed play at learning centers vs something more rigidly structured. I would advise you to tour a few, ask about a day in the life of a child there, and see what works for you.

jnksmom · December 2013

I don't think it is necessary but can be beneficial. Both of mine only did 1 year of preschool and have both done really well in elementary school so far. I do think for social reasons DSc oils have benefited from 2 years as he is a more shy child and is just now starting to come out of his shell this year in1st grade. DDis in K this year and is doing great.

chickaboo1974 · December 2013

KC_13 said:

Really the least important part of a preschool program is the academic stuff. On the contrary I'd be on the lookout for a play based program. The benefit is the socialization without mom there, learning to listen to an adult outside of a sitter/family, and learning classroom rules. I don't think your child is doomed to be a socially awkward outcast who doesnt listen to teachers without two years of school but if you have the money two days a week really isn't going to hurt.

This is the reason why my boys were enrolled in a "Introduction to Preschool" class. They had to be 2.5 by September to be in the class- and my boys turned 3 in November. It is two mornings a week for two hours. I wanted them to go to socialize with other non twin kids (my play group is from my twin club) and just get a feel for being in a classroom setting. Nicholas has had the hardest time with these skills. Since turning 3, Nicholas now also goes to the school district's preschool for his speech delay in the afternoon. And according to his teacher- which I email with weekly- he is doing great with sitting, waiting, taking directions etc. I am so pleased with this. Next year I will be enrolling them both in the district's preschool- they can be in separate classrooms and I like the teachers, learning models, and whole setup that is used. Plus these are kids that they will actually go to school with so they might be in their class when they go to kindergarten.

bingbongsmama · December 2013

JenS2203 said:
DD2 will be almost six when she starts K because her birthday is in Nov. I plan on one year of preschool and am considering more. DD1 never did preschool and I wish I had with her. She hasn't struggled in K really, but she really could have benefited from a year of preschool. I do get concerned that our playdates and classes won't be stimulating enough at age 4, so maybe she'll get two years.

I'm just curious, are the play dates through moms groups? In my moms groups the oldest kids are my DD's age and even they are in preschool a couple times a week. If this is the norm, she'll be the oldest by the time next year rolls around.

Arnegard · December 2013

We also do 1 year of preschool and my older girls are doing great in school.

Mrs.Hizzo · December 2013

I agree, not necessary but beneficial. Our preschool is totally play-based. No learning to read or do sums or any of that. That's what kindergarten is for, IMO. But I think the 3 year old class was great for my kids. It was only two mornings a week, and they loved going.

pitterpatter129 · December 2013

Mine just turned 3, but is not in "school". Public PreK starts here at age 4 and that's when he will go to school. We did send him to a twice a week summer program last summer, so we may do that again next summer. He gets plenty of socialization with friends. He also goes to speech therapy twice a week in a small group. I stayed home because daycare was so expensive it wasn't worth it to work, so it wouldn't make sense for us to pay for private preschool (which is daycare around here) when there is a free four year old program when he turns four. ETA: Our state seems a little different than most. It's hard to find a private preschool program like you guys all seem to have. Since the public schools start free for everyone at age four, and most people work and put their kids in the daycares all day before that, there is little need for preschool programs. The daycares build curriculum into the daily programs for 2 and 3 year olds.

jensriot · December 2013

bingbongsmama said:

DD2 will be almost six when she starts K because her birthday is in Nov. I plan on one year of preschool and am considering more. DD1 never did preschool and I wish I had with her. She hasn't struggled in K really, but she really could have benefited from a year of preschool. I do get concerned that our playdates and classes won't be stimulating enough at age 4, so maybe she'll get two years.
I'm just curious, are the play dates through moms groups? In my moms groups the oldest kids are my DD's age and even they are in preschool a couple times a week. If this is the norm, she'll be the oldest by the time next year rolls around.

No, these are weekly or every other week get togethers with a couple different sets of friends. We try to do one outing a month (zoo, park, etc), but typically we rotate homes. We have a big group of kids, 13 including mine, varying in ages from 6 mo to 5 years. I'm really lucky that all but one family in our group lives in my neighborhood. DD2 is right in the middle.

penguingrrl · December 2013

pitterpatter129 said:

Mine just turned 3, but is not in "school". Public PreK starts here at age 4 and that's when he will go to school. We did send him to a twice a week summer program last summer, so we may do that again next summer. He gets plenty of socialization with friends. He also goes to speech therapy twice a week in a small group. I stayed home because daycare was so expensive it wasn't worth it to work, so it wouldn't make sense for us to pay for private preschool (which is daycare around here) when there is a free four year old program when he turns four. ETA: Our state seems a little different than most. It's hard to find a private preschool program like you guys all seem to have. Since the public schools start free for everyone at age four, and most people work and put their kids in the daycares all day before that, there is little need for preschool programs. The daycares build curriculum into the daily programs for 2 and 3 year olds.

It was exactly like you're describing when I lived in Manhattan. I tried desperately to find a low cost very part time option for my oldest and it didn't exist. There was universal preK at 4 and daycare before that, no other options. It drove me nuts!

nosoup4u · December 2013

The only reason DS2 is in preschool three days a week is because DH and I are both working. Otherwise we probably would have waited until he was big enough for the public school preschool next year, or sent him to a once a week place. He'll have a total of three years of preschool before he gets to kindergarten. Granted, it's play-based, but it still seems a bit insane.

jlpev · December 2013

pitterpatter129 said:
Mine just turned 3, but is not in "school". Public PreK starts here at age 4 and that's when he will go to school. We did send him to a twice a week summer program last summer, so we may do that again next summer. He gets plenty of socialization with friends. He also goes to speech therapy twice a week in a small group. I stayed home because daycare was so expensive it wasn't worth it to work, so it wouldn't make sense for us to pay for private preschool (which is daycare around here) when there is a free four year old program when he turns four. ETA: Our state seems a little different than most. It's hard to find a private preschool program like you guys all seem to have. Since the public schools start free for everyone at age four, and most people work and put their kids in the daycares all day before that, there is little need for preschool programs. The daycares build curriculum into the daily programs for 2 and 3 year olds.

this is basically what we will do.

monalua · December 2013

I wonder about this too, my son is 3.5 and not in school. But we are strongly considering homeschooling though, so this is kind of the start...

I think what you have planned sounds great. We do something similar, playgroup/playdates, library, gymnastics, soccer, swimming, t-ball. He does do some "drop-in" preschool classes our rec center offers too - once a month or so. I'm totally biased because I'm his mom lol, but I think he's just as good, if not better, at sharing, waiting in line, socializing, talking to adults etc. when compared to his friends who have been in preschool since age 2. Every kid us different!

bingbongsmama · December 2013

@Pitterpatter129
I have also found that the preschools are very expensive, like $400/month. The cheaper options are coops but I cannot bring my baby (due in 3 month) when its my turn to volunteer. Aside from that issue, I do like the coop option.

We will have to pay it when she's 4, for that year which I'm ok with. I don't think there are free options here unless the child is special needs or family meets income requirements.

pitterpatter129 · December 2013

bingbongsmama said:

@Pitterpatter129 I have also found that the preschools are very expensive, like $400/month. The cheaper options are coops but I cannot bring my baby (due in 3 month) when its my turn to volunteer. Aside from that issue, I do like the coop option. We will have to pay it when she's 4, for that year which I'm ok with. I don't think there are free options here unless the child is special needs or family meets income requirements.

I just heard about the co-op idea from my aunt (my age with same age kids!) who came to visit recently. She's from Seattle. I've never seen a program like that here, but it's a great idea! We do have a few MDO kind of places. That's where he went over the summer at a church.

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2013

bingbongsmama said:

@Pitterpatter129 I have also found that the preschools are very expensive, like $400/month. The cheaper options are coops but I cannot bring my baby (due in 3 month) when its my turn to volunteer. Aside from that issue, I do like the coop option. We will have to pay it when she's 4, for that year which I'm ok with. I don't think there are free options here unless the child is special needs or family meets income requirements.

If the coop program interests you maybe see if you could make some connections there prior to enrolling. Maybe you could do a babysitting swap with one of the moms there where she watches the baby when its your turn to volunteer and you watch her kids for her another time to help her out in return.

fancynewbeesly · December 2013

Right now she goes to an in-home day care who we absolutely LOVE. In fact, originally I wanted to do 2 years of preschool before kindergarten, but now because of the in-home babysitter---who watches 3/4 other kids. (She is a retired kindergarten teacher). She goes there 3 days a week, so she definitely is with other kids and listening to other adults.

I plan on doing a year of pre-k before kindergarten though.

Angela814 · December 2013

I don't know that it's necessary, but my 3 yo loves her preschool. She goes 3 days/week and would love to go every day if she could. She went 2 days/week last year at 2 years, and even then she was super excited when it was a preschool day.

BloomingMomma · December 2013

Any parent participation schools near you? It may be a good to try?

Court0026 · December 2013

Add me to team I needed a break

I think 1 year of preschool is great and 2 years for some kids can be really beneficial. I started DS at 3 and then when was 4, I decided to send my clingy, up my ass DD to see if she could hack it in the 2's. It was GREAt for us. Very helpful for her to realize she could be away from me (just 2 mornings a week) and I also was able to shop, go to the doctor, dentist, haircuts, etc. alone. Win win. This year in the 3's has been great for her. She is definitely the type of kid who has benefited from gradually getting used to more time at school and has shown growth with her shyness and making new friends this year. DS could have done 1 year I think and been fine. Different kids!

Dochas · December 2013

bingbongsmama said:

Because of when my DD's bday is, she starts kindergarten at 5.5 so I can start her in pre-school at age 4 and she will still get a full year of it before kindergarten starts. So I will have her home with me another year. I do take her on play dates (we're involved in mom groups/play groups) the library, church, and a scheduled class I sign her up for once a week. I feel like she gets plenty of socializing with other kids, just not in a classroom setting but most 3yo's I'm noticing are doing a 2 or 3 morning a week program. Is it really necessary for a kid to be in a classroom setting at this age?

My son will be doing 2 years but I think for many kids, 1 year is fine. My son really, really wanted to make friends. And he does not learn well from me - I get frustrated and it's completely unfair to him. When we would take classes he just wouldn't follow along with anything. He does much, much better when I'm not right there with him. But there are so many kids who DO learn letters, numbers from their parents (and are less wild!). From what you describe it doesn't sound like she will be at any kind of disadvantage.

WhitePicketFence · December 2013

DD1 attends preschool 3 mornings a week. The preschool she attends is part of a parochial elementary/middle school and we plan on sending all of our kids there up through 8th grade. She has learned writing, reading, and math skills but they also have free play time scheduled into each day as well. They also have gym & music classes, library, and computer time. When the weather is nice, they try to get the kids outside for a bit as well. They participate in the school's Christmas and spring concerts and go on field trips.

DD1 has really grown socially, academically, and emotionally since starting preschool this past fall. It's amazing to see the transformation. She loves school and actually cried the one day she was sick as she didn't want to stay home. She can already read & spell certain words and can do basic math. As she still has one more year to go, I feel she'll be very well prepared for kindergarten when the time comes. We plan to enroll DD2 in the same preschool next fall and she will also complete two years.

While our experience with preschool has been extremely positive, all schools and children are not created equal. I certainly don't feel that preschool, especially 2 years of it, is necessary or that it is in any way right for every child.

bumpuser8448316 · December 2013

I don't think it's necessary at 3 it I do think its necessary at 4. DS has been in preschool since 3.5 only because we had a new baby coming and I wanted him to have something special that was all his. It's a play based program and its twice a week for 3 hours. Its perfect and he loves going

mylittlesunshine · January 2014

We have a unique situation in that DD1 misses the cut off by a 3 weeks. Then we moved and everything around here is full. She turned 4 in October and I can tell she is itching to go and be more social. I feel terrible she can't go. I would put her in DC a few days a week, but it would be such a short time I don't want to move her after only being there for a few months. For now we do lots of play groups and activities to get her around other kids.

It isn't my ideal scenario, but even with her starting this fall she will still get 2 years in prek. Thankfully we aren't planning on moving and DD2 has a summer bday so she can go when she is 3.

Is your 3yo not in school?

Re: Is your 3yo not in school?

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