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Name argument

dmsmthdmsmth member
in Pregnant after a Loss

If you want the whole long a$$ rant you can see my blog, but it's lloonnggg.

So here is an abridged version.  DH wants to name his first born son John Joseph and he said people will call him JJ.  I was never a fan of John Joseph and I realy can't stand JJ.  So naturally, even though he said the name wassentimental, I started to suggest renditions of John Joseph.  He was not budging and said this is what it has to be in this is the order.  So after his dad was almost killed last year I told he we could name him John Joseph with no more arguments.  I still don't really like the name, but at least the last few weeks it's been growing on me.  But I still REALLY don't like JJ.  And everytime it's brought up DH srugs it off and says it's going to happen.  I don't feel like this should happen.  I would be the mother and peopel should respect my wishes to not call him JJ if I ask them not to.  This has not been the reaction I have been getting by anybody!  So naturally I'm getting defensive and in my head I'm telling myself if people don't listen they won't be able to see our son (assuming it's a boy).  So tonight we were at his mom and step dad's house for dinner and they asked if we had come up with names.  I said Mark this is all yours.  Of course as soon as he says John Joseph his SD says JJ.  I, after having to have delt w/ this JJ thing for a while and with lots of people I say nope, can't stand JJ any body call him that they can't see him.  Apparently his whole family looked at me funny and he was embarrased.  He does not think it our place to say what people can and cannot call OUR son and there is nothing we an do to prevent somebody from calling him something.  I dissagree but he refuses to back me up.  So he got all pissed, I'm pissed and upset.  And when he gets pissy he just goes in the complete opposite and says you win you can name the kid anything you want I don't want any input.  I just want to comprimise and he won't what so ever.  Won't comprimise on the name (although I have given in finally) and won't back me if people call him JJ.  I really don't know what to do. Oh and me just not liking the name JJ isn't a good enough reason to not want to call him that.  I have to have a real reason...

Am I being selfish because the name means something to him?  or is he being unreasonable that he won't even back me on the fact I don't like JJ?

m/c April '08
DD#1 born June '09
DD#2 born April '11
TTC #3 as of July '14


My Ovulation Chart
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Re: Name argument

  • dmsmthdmsmth member
    Sorry, this one is long too, but believe me it IS an abridged version!!!
    m/c April '08
    DD#1 born June '09
    DD#2 born April '11
    TTC #3 as of July '14


    My Ovulation Chart
    Report Reply
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  • MelissaSue81MelissaSue81 member
    Umm. Just tell people his name is John, then they won't be tempted to call him JJ.. (I personally think JJ is an adorable nickname, but that is my opinion and its not my kid)
    Melissa & Jeff 5-27-06
    m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
    Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
    Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
    imagebabies
    baby growth
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  • honeybeeehoneybeee
    I think if your DH is getting the full name that he wants, that everyone, including your H should respect your wishes to not call him JJ.  I think your H needs to compromise with you on this, and he should be the one to tell his family that your son will go by his name, not JJ.
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  • jeffraejeffrae member
    any chance of a compromise?  a coworkers bf name is "john j".  That could work instead of "jj"?
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  • kimnickkimnick

    imagehoneybeee:
    I think if your DH is getting the full name that he wants, that everyone, including your H should respect your wishes to not call him JJ.  I think your H needs to compromise with you on this, and he should be the one to tell his family that your son will go by his name, not JJ.

    i 100% agree with this.  we named our son andrew and i REFUSE to let anyone call him andy.  the second someone does i say no, his name is andrew.

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  • Jill+DaveJill+Dave member

    I can understand your frustration & think you've been more than nice deciding to go with his name.  Maybe you can just introduce him as John to people & not mention his mn unless asked. 

    If having a boy we plan to name him Jack.  I've already been warned by my mom that my gma will probably try to call him Jackie which I can't stand.  We'll nip that in the bud real fast...

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  • Gregsbride22Gregsbride22 member
    When my DH & I first started talking about names we made up a rule--if one of us hated a name we would drop it and not even bring it up for discussion.  The name needs to be something you BOTH like, and if JJ is something you can't stand I think your DH should respect your wishes.  Ask him how he would feel if everyone called his son by a name he hated?  GL.
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  • dakota01dakota01 member
    I think that you just stick to your guns.  You can certainly say do not call my child "insert name".  My sons initials are JC and I he will absolutely not be called that.   I personally dont understand when ppl call kids nicknames, if I wanted him/her named that nickname I would have named them that.  He'll come around, he sounds exactly like my DH.
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  • steve&heathersteve&heather
    My cousin is a John Joseph, we all call him "John". Just introduce him as John and it should be fine.
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