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So upset and stressed...

futuremrstarterfuturemrstarter member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
I feel like such a bad mom.  I am so tired and upset.  DS just cries and cries and even though I am getting rest because DH is wonderful I feel so tired and upset.  I feel guilty because I miss my old life.  It feels like DH and I have no relationship right now and as of yet I still do not feel like I've bonded with my child.  I know I have a touch of PPD and the meds the OB gave me are not working.  I'm seeing my family physician on Monday to talk with her about it.  I know everyone says it gets easier over time but I feel like there is no end in sight. 
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Re: So upset and stressed...

  • Alli3586Alli3586 member
    Sorry you are feeling this way. I don't really have any advice but I hope it gets better for you soon.
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  • mrskadamsmrskadams
    Hugs to you.   I feel many of the same things.  I was definitely feeling distanced from DH until we went out on a date last Saturday.  We went to a romantic movie and out for drinks while his mom watched dd.  It helped a little.  I think it's a good idea to talk to a doctor about your feelings.  I hope you feel better soon.
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  • hiljillhiljill
    I am glad you are following up with someone regarding the meds.  They don't all work for everyone or perhaps you need to be on a higher dose.  Hang in there things do get better and your baby will eventually cry less I promise.  Ours had colic and reflux and it was a very rough first 3months. 
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  • honeybeezhoneybeez
    DH and I have not been having an easy time since DS came along and we also have a 22 month old on top of the new stress. It takes time. We went out on a date night last week and things have been a bit better. ?DS was born 12/9.?
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  • christine52078christine52078
    So sorry you are feeling that way. you are on the right track though by talking to your doctors about it, so don't worry, everything will be ok. I felt the same way the first two weeks or so, I really wanted my old life back, even though Taylor is the love of our lives. Its a hard thing to describe, but I know what you are feeling. I also think to myself, will my relationship with my husband ever be what it was, and so on. So for what its worth, I think what you are going through is completely normal for new moms and it will all work out! What I've been doing to cheer myself up while I'm home with DD during the day, is I go over my parents house or friends house, and hang out with them! Sometimes, being just by myself with the baby, it gives me way too much time to think about all the "what ifs?" and worries being a new mom has! Maybe you can try doing that to help as well..
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  • Megan BriggsMegan Briggs
    I'm sorry.  The yearning for my "old life" was hard. 6 weeks really was the hardest point for me.   I just started back to work and while I miss DD during the day, I feel more normal.  Your baby is also at the height of fussiness right now. 
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  • daniellems2003daniellems2003

    I'm so sorry :( **hugs**

    I feel the same way with my DH, so I have no advice. But I just pray it gets better. We have a special date planned for Valentine's Day and my mom is watching DD overnight, so hopefully that will help!

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  • bluestar0527bluestar0527

    **HUGS** I hope it gets better!

    I remember when DD was born up until about 2 months, I wasn't happy at all. I was suddenly with a newborn 24/7 trying to figure her out and missing my old life so much. It DOES get better...but I hope your Dr. can help you out as well!

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  • loveybearloveybear

    i'm so sorry you feel this way! do you have someone who can watch your LO so you and DH can have a date night? i know how you feel with feeling like you don't have a relationship with DH right now, I went through that too. it seems like the only thing you talk about is the baby and everything else kind of went away.

    i know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it will get better. i'm glad you're seeking help for your ppd, maybe you just need a different medication or a different dose of what you're taking.

    GL, and don't hesitate to keep posting for support!

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  • futuremrstarterfuturemrstarter member
    I appreciate all the support ladies!! Sometimes it helps just to vent and hear that I'm not the only one!
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  • inbetweendreamsinbetweendreams

    Your feelings are so normal. It is such a huge adjustment when a couple becomes a couple with a baby. I posted yesterday asking how people find couple time because that is something we've struggled with since I went back to work. And when one thing doesn't feel right, everything else seems to pile up. I think it's great that you're seeking help from your doc. If you don't feel your meds are working for you, I'm sure they can help you find something that does.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. You are not a bad mom. You are providing for your child, and you are seeking out help. Take care of yourself.

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  • cappyb13cappyb13

    My PPD was at it's worse right around 1.5-2 months. I felt defeated from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning and before my feet even hit the ground I was wishing for the day to just be over already. My DH was also a huge help and wonderful with DD, which only made me feel more guilty and anxious.?I cringe just thinking about that time period.?Now it almost seems like it was happening to someone else and it's hard to believe it was only about a month ago. I still have PPD and am taking meds. ?Some days are tougher than others, but for the most part, things are exponentially better. ?DD is becoming more fun to be around every day. ?She can interact with me or entertain herself. ?Her fussiness has decreased dramatically. ?One day, she just decided to knock it off. ?That has made a huge difference. ?I really feel like I am getting to know her now and not just her indentured servant.?

    Have you read "Down Came the Rain" by Brooke Shields? ?It was surprisingly helpful and a really easy read. ?DH even read it after me and said it gave him a different perspective and understanding. ?I am more than happy to drop it in the mail if you can't get your hands on a copy.?

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  • littlefellerslittlefellers member
    know that you're not alone.  and just by the fact that you have recognized the change in your marriage, etc, means that you really care about the quality of your relationship with DH and DS.  You will make it through.
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  • EchowyspEchowysp member

    I felt the same way when my ds was that age.  It was tough!  We weren't in a good pattern yet and ds fussed all the time.  I still felt like I was caring for someone else's baby and that made me feel really guilty.  I was really sleep deprived and overwhelmed. 

    It does get better.  It seemed like ds just clicked into a pattern one day around 9 weeks and slowly I learned what he needed, which cut down on his fussiness.  I started getting longer stretches at night and that helped so much.  Ds started interacting and smiling more, so I felt more rewarded in the work I was doing.  Dh started really pitching in and took over the bedtime routine, which gave me a breather.  I suddenly fell in love with my son.  Life became good again.

    Give your meds time to kick in or get another one that works better and just give it time.  Know that there's light at end of the tunnel and being a mom is great.  {{hugs}}

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