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weddings and babies!

kirlin19kirlin19 member
in 1st Trimester
Well, my friend is gettin married in early September and Im suppose to be in her wedding. By that time I will have about a 4 or 5 week old. She told me right after I told her I was pregnant that it was ok to not be in her wedding. I told her I would think about it. Well, after much thought and advice from my mom and husband, I decided to not do it. When I told her she was pretty pissed. I just dont want to leave a 5 week old all day ( i have to do the whole wedding parties hair also! ) and risk having a dress that doesnt fit and I have to spend alot on alterations. As if a baby doesnt cost enough! I asked one of my other friends that is also a bridesmaid what she thought and she told me that I should do it because its not worth ruining a friendship over! Oh my ! I guess Im being a brat by not doing this but I reay dont want to be away from my baby the entire day. plus what if I end up having a c-section and really cant do it! then I guess I just spent almos 200 on a dress thats non-refundable! I dont know!  Does anyone have any advice!!!!??
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Re: weddings and babies!

  • HoffmannBabyHoffmannBaby
    I know it is a lot easier to say this because I am not in your situation but. . . if she does not understand then she is not a true friend!!! You are going to have so much on your plate and I don't think it is a good idea! Also are you going to feel like doing all the pre-wedding stuff while you are 8-9 months pregant? Do what is right for you and your family not what others think!
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  • IamsmallsIamsmalls
    It sounds like your bride friend is being the brat, not you. If Bridezilla is going to stop being friends with you over this, good riddance.
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  • PurpleK26PurpleK26 member
    If I were you, I'd try for somewhere in the middle. Ask her if you can have a different version of the bridesmaid dress that will give you a little room in the tummy area... maybe an empire waist? See if someone else can do or at least help with the hair. I'm willing to be there will be plenty of people around to help hold baby and take care of it until the ceremony and pics, when your DH can take the baby. I have to photograph a wedding 5 weeks after my due date... not looking forward to it!
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  • kpeterso76kpeterso76

    Sounds like you might have a bridezilla on your hands.  She said it was ok, so it should be ok.  If you think you can make it to the wedding, maybe you can be a "personal attendant" or a reader or hand out programs or something?  That way, you can wear whatever fits and is comfortable and you can ditch out early on the reception if you want to go home to the little one.

    Either way, stand your ground.  She'll get over it.  You're not superwoman, you can't do everything and you don't need the stress of being a bridesmaid during your third tri!

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  • KateAndMarkKateAndMark
    If she is a true friend then she will understand and want what is best for you and your new baby. Sounds like she is being rather selfish about the situation.
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  • Jenny KnotekJenny Knotek
    I'm confused - you said you weren't going to be in the wedding, but you would still do the girls' hair?  I'm not sure, but maybe your friend is upset that now she needs to find a hair stylist too?  Either way, if she truly said she didn't mind if you weren't in the wedding, then she really has no reason to complain now.  Maybe she thought that you would say no when she initially said it would be ok to back out?  I think she was asking a lot for you to make a snap decision - if she doesn't understand, a little cold shoulder should do the trick!
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  • tiggernorton04tiggernorton04 member
    Well, I was in a good friend's wedding yesterday. One of the other bridesmaids had a baby a month ago.  She had ordered the dress bigger than she would need it and had it taken in about 2 weeks before the wedding.  She left the baby for the day and night with her sister which I know was difficult for her.  But she wanted to do it because the bride is one of our best friends.  But that question is really up to you. Is it local?  Do you have family that can watch the baby?  Is this a very close friend?
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