how would you handle this (MIL issue)???

zucchinigirl · January 2009

I went to pick up DD from my MIL's house after work today (my mom and his mom switch off watching her on weekdays - extremely grateful, which is partially why I feel awkward saying anything to her)... when I got there, she had DD in her lap and was feeding her a bottle of water.

We don't give DD water. Period. Nurses said no until six months when she was born and pedi has concurred... like many other parents, we just don't give her water. She doesn't need it and I know (although I can't think of specifics) that water shouldn't be given to infants DD's age.

I was too passive (and kind of in shock) when I was there, plus FIL was there and I didn't want to say anything in front of him (he's intimidating and it may have stirred up more trouble). I wish I would have just said, "ummm, could you not give her water anymore? We don't give her water." Stupid me, I didn't. She would have started the whole, "ohhhh we gave water when Stephen (DH) was a baby, blah blah blah and I gave it to Nicolas (our 1 yr. old nephew whom she also watches) and it would become a big discussion.

DH drops her off in the AM. I want to tell him to say something to her tomorrow morning but then of course when I pick her up she'll probably say something to me.... but ugh. What would you guys do?

Sorry this is so long!

SumnerBride · January 2009

It's actually dangerous to give a baby water like that. Just tell her it's a safety issue. Don't feel guilty at all. It's YOUR baby-not hers.

CrazeyJaneyR · January 2009

I would call her and say, "I meant to tell you, the Dr. said not to give DD water until she is X old. " ?I always blame the Doctor, lol!?

Daniela79 · January 2009

I don't know why people insist on this water thing... My mom is always telling me how she gave us water when we were little.. well I don't. and my pedi said no....

So i would say something, like pp said it can be dangerous for the baby... GL!

futuremrstarter · January 2009

I agree with PP. Its your child, have DH say something. You shouldn't let people make you feel guilty about making good choices for your child. I'm mad for you.

FolanMama · January 2009

Stick to your plan. Have Dh say something and if she brings it up tomorrow just say, "I know! They come out with so much research for what can be harmful to infants, sometimes it can be hard to keep up. Good thing baby gets all the hydration he needs from me [or the formula]" and just leave it at that.

ladeebri · January 2009

I agree with PP. Always blame the pediatrician and just tell her you're more comfortable when you follow the pedi's advive, despite what she or others may have done with their kids in the past. I would probably have DH tell her if you're sure she wont try to convince him that you're just an overprotective mother like my MIL does.

CelticWife · January 2009

I would just have him talk to her. Blame it on your pedi if you want to or say the water didn't agree with her. But if you don't say something she will just keep doing it.

*Mush* · January 2009

OMG!! I would be livid!! Not to be snarky but that is YOUR child and you need to stand up for yourself. Water can cause SERIOUS problems for babies. I would definitely say something. Maybe do a little research before you go over there, just so your prepared

good luck!!

Amie Schulz · January 2009

My dh can be passive with his mom, so in that case, I would be the one to have to say something. Like pp mentioned, this is Your child, not hers. She needs to respect your wishes. You must be mama bear sometimes and do/say what you need to for your child.
GL!!

Happy2BeMe · January 2009

It's called Water Intoxication...from what I remember of what I read, it doesn't show signs of danger until it's too late, too much can cause seizures in infants. I would research it and maybe have DH bring an article on it, than say your doctor has seen it in an infant (or something like that) and it's a real issue.

Megan Briggs · January 2009

Like everyone else said, you have to speak up. I think the reason for no water is twofold: 1) it unnecessarily takes up space in their little bellies that should be used for food (BM or fomula) and 2) too much water can cause an imbalance of electrolytes leading to seizures. Our pedi specifically said no water.

I know you don't want to make a big deal of it, but as DC starts solids and table food, you want to make it clear that NOTHING goes in your baby's mouth that you haven't provided or approved. My MIL will be watching our daughter and this is going to be my rule.

LuckySunshineBaby · January 2009

My mom is always insisting..."Well, it didn't kill you". Love it. I would print something off about the dangers (it causes an imbalance in the electrolytes) and have DH make the request in the morning.

LucyPevensie · January 2009

It is up to YOU and DH to protect your child. Obviously MIL doesn't know it can be harmful - if you don't say something - YOU are putting your child at risk. What is more important? Protecting your child's health - or protecting your MIL's feelings - or protecting yourself from feeling nervous about having to say something?

You are a mom now. You have to do these things for your child. It's not the last time you will need to do or say something uncomfortable to protect your child - so put on your big mama panties and do what you need to do and don't be so worried about what MIL or FIL might think or say to you later.

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