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Pregnant again & feeling mom guilt?

brlnabrlna member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
My LO is 9 months & I’m due 2 weeks after her 1st birthday in May. Definitely not a planned pregnancy with the second one & I constantly feel so much guilt.
 I’ve had PPD with her for the first few months due to so many changes in life (honeymoon baby & moving across the country with no family nearby. MIL came to help but she was very adamant in her ways of taking care of my 1st & didn’t really listen to what I wanted which added more to the PPD) & I'm nervous of being in that state again. Does anyone have any tips if they’ve experienced this? 
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Re: Pregnant again & feeling mom guilt?

  • j-redd222j-redd222 member
    I also have experience with PPD and I have my third on the way all of which are really close in age (18 months between first two, 16 months between second and third). I also moved away from family but we’re not near my husband’s family or my family so we have very little support. My advice is that you shouldn’t feel bad because of how close they are- they’re going to be the best of friends. My first two are just able to start playing together and the way they love each other brightens every day. Make sure to take care of yourself and do things to help you cope with your PPD. I opened up to my husband about everything I was feeling and he made sure to give me time to take a bath (something I love), checked in with me to see if I had had the time to read or pray that day (often times I didn’t) and he stepped in to make sure I took care of my needs too. It helped immensely. 
    As far as you MIL goes, if you want your children raised a certain way and your husband agrees with it, I would tell her politely that this is the way you and your husband have decided to do things and you ask that she be respectful of this. I would have this conversation with her and your husband present depending on the severity of the issue and have your husband lead it since he is her son and with your PPD it can be hard to speak in confidence about this and deflect any backlash. As your husband, he’ll need to take a role in defending you and your decisions as a couple. I have a very strained relationship with my sister in law and don’t like her watching my kids because of it even though she’s the only family that lives close by (go figure lol). My husband takes lead on all conversations with her and defends me in all aspects. That also has made a huge difference with my PPD and I’m extremely grateful to him for being the man I needed him to be. 
    I hope things get better for you and are healthy with your pregnancy! Take it a day at a time and be graceful with yourself. You’re doing great mama! 
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