November wedding - step down

millymama28 · March 2023

Hello Ladies!

I’m supposed to be standing up in a friends wedding 11/11 but my due date is 11/8. The best thing for everyone would be for me to step down but im feeling HORRIBLE and I’m not sure how to tell my friend. She’s always such a big supporter and comes to all my life events and having to miss her wedding makes me so upset and tons of guilt. I’m only 6 weeks but on 4/2 we have appointments for dress shopping so I need to tell her soon but just looking for some advice/ support on how to tell her. At this rate I’d miss the wedding completely 😔.

Thank you!

mrsmtothek · March 2023

@amelias_mommy228 This happened to me and one of my best friends at the time. I wanted her to be in my wedding. If she's your good friend, she'll understand. I was of course disappointed when she broke the news, but mostly excited and thrilled for her. Better to know earlier than later so she can process everything. Good luck

kiki047 · March 2023

I'm feeling this too because my cousin is getting married on 11/4, and I'm due 11/11. There's a possibility I could still make it, but part of me feels like I ought to just bow out instead of leaving her in a lurch at the last minute if baby comes early or if I'm feeling crummy.

Like you, we're very close and she's been involved in every aspect of my life so I really hope we can still go at least. I know she'll be excited for me because of how long we've been trying, but they've also been together for 10+ years so this wedding is a pretty big deal too lol. Not that any wedding isn't a big deal, but it's been a LONG time coming.

ridedatide · March 2023

My Husband and I eloped with the thought of having a wedding in mid to late October. Well not anymore. So I'm trying to figure out how to tell my family that I'm expecting and married when the time comes.
I would definitely tell them soon just so they can be prepared. Maybe tell them instead plan for you to be in attendance instead of standing.

avocadoellis · March 2023

I would tell her before dress shopping. I’m sure she will be sad and maybe a little disappointed at first, but I think she will appreciate it for the sake of planning. You can tell her you would still absolutely love to partake in wedding activities, but because of your due date, you don’t want to put her in a place where she has to stress on her wedding day.

One of my best friends is getting married the end of October and having a destination wedding. I am not sure when the cutoff for traveling is but I have a feeling I won’t be able to make it. She’s not having a wedding party but it is a very intimate wedding. I feel a little stress about that, but at the end of the day, I know she will understand.

Hopefully your friend will understand. It’s unfortunate that great news for you means not the best news for her wedding wise, but it’s beyond your control.

babette-ate-oatmeal · March 2023

Let her know and let her make the decision.

Maybe you can still participate in other pieces of the wedding, like a shower or celebration, helping with other bits of planning.

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November wedding - step down

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