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3rd Trimester
court9898
member
Did doctor just ruin our gender suprise?
court9898
member
I am pregnant with my second baby. We didn't find out the sex of our first baby until I was handed a beautiful baby girl. It was the best surprise of my life. We were planning to be surprised with the second, as well. We did genetic testing at 13 weeks and the doctor told me not to open the lab results because the gender would be at the top of the page. They were very good about it and called with the results to let us know everything was fine so we didn't have the open the file.
Yesterday, we had the 20 week ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was pretty good about saying "baby" or "they/them" throughout the entire hour+ long ultrasound. At one point, my husband swears she said "him" but I heard it too and thought it could have been "them". I also thought she said "she" at one point, but it could have been "we". We saw no penis during the ultrasound. The tech turned the screen for the genetalia portion of the scan (she said it was required for her to note the gender). But the ultrasound was an hour long and we both couldn't help but look and saw nothing, even in the belly/upper leg portion of the procedure. We also saw no vagina or any gentiles at all, so who knows? Maybe she was really good about hiding it. Either way, we walked out of the ultrasound pretty convinced it was another girl.
Then, we met with the doctor. Our regular doctor had been called into delivery so we met with a different doctor. The first thing she asked us was if we knew the gender. We said no, we wanted to be surprised, then I asked her if she knew. She said "Well, I just reviewed the ultrasound and saw the gender, but I already forgot so it's 50-50 whether I know. I do know the baby looks healthy." I'm sure there's no way she forgot the gender that quickly and was just trying to cover any potential future slip-up. Well, she pretty much immediately slipped up. She used the "he" pronoun twice. Both times, she tried to cover it. "He....(a second or two)...or she!" We didn't call her out because we both wanted to pretend it didn't happen and definitely didn't want confirmation from her that it was a boy. Then, she said "so, if it's a boy, do you want a circumcision?" We said yes and she said "ok, that will generally be done the day after the birth". This confused me even further. On one hand, if she had accidentally slipped up and ruined the gender with the pronoun, you'd think she wouldn't be dumb enough to immediately follow up with asking about circumcision. On the other hand, maybe that's required to be asked in this practice after the 20 week scan if it's a boy. I honestly don't remember being asked about circumcision a single time during pregnancy with our first (a girl).
I'm pretty much convinced it's a boy at this point. I can't decide whether I should 1) Ignore the whole thing and go along convincing myself/pretending we're going to be surprised. 2) Get excited about the idea of a boy (possibly even look at the genetic testing results to confirm this). or 3) Be pissed off
Yesterday, we had the 20 week ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was pretty good about saying "baby" or "they/them" throughout the entire hour+ long ultrasound. At one point, my husband swears she said "him" but I heard it too and thought it could have been "them". I also thought she said "she" at one point, but it could have been "we". We saw no penis during the ultrasound. The tech turned the screen for the genetalia portion of the scan (she said it was required for her to note the gender). But the ultrasound was an hour long and we both couldn't help but look and saw nothing, even in the belly/upper leg portion of the procedure. We also saw no vagina or any gentiles at all, so who knows? Maybe she was really good about hiding it. Either way, we walked out of the ultrasound pretty convinced it was another girl.
Then, we met with the doctor. Our regular doctor had been called into delivery so we met with a different doctor. The first thing she asked us was if we knew the gender. We said no, we wanted to be surprised, then I asked her if she knew. She said "Well, I just reviewed the ultrasound and saw the gender, but I already forgot so it's 50-50 whether I know. I do know the baby looks healthy." I'm sure there's no way she forgot the gender that quickly and was just trying to cover any potential future slip-up. Well, she pretty much immediately slipped up. She used the "he" pronoun twice. Both times, she tried to cover it. "He....(a second or two)...or she!" We didn't call her out because we both wanted to pretend it didn't happen and definitely didn't want confirmation from her that it was a boy. Then, she said "so, if it's a boy, do you want a circumcision?" We said yes and she said "ok, that will generally be done the day after the birth". This confused me even further. On one hand, if she had accidentally slipped up and ruined the gender with the pronoun, you'd think she wouldn't be dumb enough to immediately follow up with asking about circumcision. On the other hand, maybe that's required to be asked in this practice after the 20 week scan if it's a boy. I honestly don't remember being asked about circumcision a single time during pregnancy with our first (a girl).
I'm pretty much convinced it's a boy at this point. I can't decide whether I should 1) Ignore the whole thing and go along convincing myself/pretending we're going to be surprised. 2) Get excited about the idea of a boy (possibly even look at the genetic testing results to confirm this). or 3) Be pissed off
Re: Did doctor just ruin our gender suprise?
I'm surprised they said that they have to write in boy or girl after ultrasound as I was told it was not noted because ultrasounds ate not 100% accurate. I personally know someone who was told boy, but had a girl. It happens!
At my appointments, I never recalled my doctor ever referring to baby with a pronoun.
Questions were always stated as:
Do you feel movement?
You don't look as far along as you ate because your torso is so long there is enough room to stretch.
The head is here, bottom is here feet are here.
Heart rate sounds good and strong!
My doctor was 5 years to retiring when I had her, so maybe that was the old school way? I DK, but all the doctors spoke like that in the office when we saw different ones. If anyone referenced the baby, it was stated "baby" not him, her, it, she, or he.