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July 2023 Moms
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Unwanted opinions

slynnmsslynnms member
in July 2023 Moms
Okay so I'm venting here... why is it when you're pregnant people feel inclined to give you all of their unwanted opinions about how you and your partner should do things?! My husband and I will be first time parents... I've been around children and babies my entire life. Will we be perfect and have all the answers? No. But will we learn and do our best just like every parent before us? Absolutely. It's really sickening. Even before I was pregnant I would've never dreamed of telling someone how to do things. What makes people feel so self absorbed and entitled?! And all this pressure to hurry up and pick a name and share it. Yeah that's not happening. We already agreed we wouldn't reveal our son's name until he's born because everyone has an opinion and will try to talk us out of what we decide beforehand if it's shared and we're not even going there. Plus, I personally cannot pick a name for him without seeing his face and personality. I feel strongly that after he's born we'll know... and that's our right and our choice as parents. GRRRR.... these people 😜
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Re: Unwanted opinions

  • knottiec1e4d90c8af106e0knottiec1e4d90c8af106e0 member
      You're not alone! I'll vent with you. ❤️ Luckily we haven't had too much pressure or unwanted advice overall, but an in-law is laying on constant subtle displeasure that we are waiting till birth find out the gender, and has made hints about what to name baby. It's honestly not a big deal, and maybe in-law is just excited and being playful, but it's an added weight and worry and I can't help but stress and overthink. I don't want anyone to feel slighted. You are right to keep your name ideas to yourself!😂
      Another in-law has asked me already if I plan on getting back to my pre-pregnancy size -- I'm only 21 weeks pregnant, and still wearing most of my regular clothes. Like... What the heck. I was so taken aback that I just said "I'm not thinking about that, Im not setting any goals where I might disappoint myself." I felt too ashamed to even say that I don't care about returning to that size, I just want to be strong and healthy with baby. I SHOULD have responded "that's a frickin weird thing to ask."
      Another family member is also criticising us for not paying extra in insurance to have a private hospital room -- but that's easy for me to laugh off. It's harder when it's an in-law.
       I find it helps to find ways to banter when people make suggestions and laugh it off with my husband when I can. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and hope they're sharing out of excitement and enthusiasm, but it can be so hard.
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  • mama_wilsmama_wils member
    My family thinks I am being ridiculous about not flying to my home state until my baby is 1 because I want him to be vaccinated for MMR. 
    My parents vaccinated me and my siblings, but my brothers wife doesn’t believe in vaccines. So their kids are not vaccinated for anything. I completely believe in a persons decision to do what they feel is best, so I don’t judge them. 
    To prevent making them feel uncomfortable, I just say I want my baby to be fully vaccinated before traveling that far and leave out the part about their kids not being vaccinated. They keep saying I am being overprotective and say he can’t live in a bubble. 
    I am not going to keep him in a bubble, but knowingly exposing him to people that aren’t vaccinated for basic infant illnesses is not something I am comfortable with :( 
    I wish they could respect our decision not to come and be excited to meet him later. Living across the country I didn’t meet my second niece until she was 9 months old. 
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  • slynnmsslynnms member
    knottiec1e4d90c8af106e0 oh my gracious yes, I agree! I cannot believe you were already asked about your prepregnancy weight, what the heck?! So rude and insensitive. We have little control over the amount of weight we gain. I'm 21 weeks and so far have only gained 5lbs. I'm not following the "eating for two" thought because I do want to only gain what is needed but also realistic that I'm no longer in control of my body. It's interesting the things people feel so compelled to say... 🙄
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