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December 2022 Moms
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Visitors?

piscesmoonpiscesmoon member
in December 2022 Moms
I am getting induced today !!!! Trying to keep my wits about me lol , I’m being as chill and relaxed as one possibly can be in these situations . One thing I’m already stressing on that I would much rather not is visitors after the birth . I understand immediate family will want to see the baby, naturally, and I am okay with that. However my husband is making it seem like people will want to be here all. The . Time . And the way he sees it is, the baby is gonna be here of course people are gonna want to be over all the time and it won’t be about me it’s about the baby . I tell him I will not be in any position to be playing host and I definitely will not want people here all the time while I’m tired and trying to heal. This is our first and we’re obviously new to all this. How do you handle visitors after birth and how do you politely ask for no one to overstay their welcome ?
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Re: Visitors?

  • 00kim0000kim00 member
    Hmm, well, this is my first as well. But have you seen what's been going on with covid, flu, RSV, and all the other respiratory viruses right now? Pediatric wards in hospitals are at capacity and lots of kids are getting really sick. For the first few months, babies are especially vulnerable, so I'd suggest checking in with your pediatrician on what a safe guest/going out policy may be. My in-laws are coming to town next week and will be staying with us, but for the most part I'm going to decline having guests over for health reasons. I do have one co-worker who will be allowed over in the first few months (with masking, hand washing, and vaccinations) but until I get the go-ahead from my pediatrician, baby and I will be staying home and only people who live in the house will be here.

    That said, if you're comfortable with guests health -wise (we all learned during covid that we have different risk tolerances, didn't we?), I think a guests as helper policy makes sense. I'm going to be exhausted, healing, possibly unshowered and stinky, and the house will be a disaster. Only people who you're comfortable seeing you and your home like that are allowed over AND only if they're going to help (bring or cook a meal, do a load of laundry, clean the bathroom, etc.). If they just want to snuggle the baby, they can wait. "We'd love to see you, but we're taking some time to recover and settle in as a family and aren't ready for visitors yet. Let's check in again in February and see how things are feeling then." Only allow those who you're close to to come over- if you're not comfortable asking them to run a load of laundry or dishes, or say "it was great seeing you, but I'm exhausted and need to take a nap now", then they shouldn't be on the early visitor list. As I said, I'm a first time mom so I haven't been through this yet, but I'm also older and have no problem assessing my needs and laying down boundaries.

    Good luck and happy baby day (or baby week... not sure how long your induction will take)! 
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  • rac2718rac2718 member
    My baby was a preemie and even more vulnerable, but at 5 weeks now only siblings and parents have met him. There's too much going around. My stance is we spent 17 days in a NICU and I will not risk another hospital stay if he gets the flu or RSV.

    With my 1st son pre covid, guests were overstaying their welcome past 1 hour for me so just establish the guidelines from the get go. Especially if you're wanting to breastfeed, it can be more difficult with visitors. Hand washing, no kissing, and make sure to wipe off baby's hands if people are touching them because that's one of the few things baby will stick in their mouth and can catch something that way. 

    Basically, don't worry about disappointing people. They'll get over it. 
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  • hspghspg member
    First baby here as well. I've never asked to visit anyone else's newborn prior to them being two months old (my niece and nephew included) and as such will not be allowing anyone other than grandparents to visit ours prior to mid-January/February.  I was one of the least concerned people during covid but with a newborn and it being flu/RSV season I have no problem being a total germaphobe. We plan to do an early Christmas (the 23rd) with both sets of grandparents so that no one misses baby's first Christmas and then we are skipping the holiday celebrations with extended family. I'll admit I might be going a little overboard but I'm a first time mom and have no problem pulling that card lol. I think having a set of concrete rules and sticking to them is your best bet. Whatever you're comfortable with. We told everyone our rules months ago so all complaints have already been aired and rebutted. I'm beginning to worry that my MIL will want to be over ALL the time but the plan is to just politely remind her that although we appreciate the help, we really were looking forward to using this time to bond as a new family. Good luck tonight! Wishing you and your baby good health and am uncomplicated delivery! 💕
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