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Preparing older children for baby? (STM+)

merostomatamerostomata member
in October 2022 Moms
Hello STMs+! I was wondering if anyone is doing something special to make the transition to siblinghood easier for your older children. We have a 3.5yo daughter, and we've been talking about the pregnancy the whole time, and at this point she seems very excited and understands what's up. We have the book "Hello in There," which seemed to help her understand how a baby grows.

I was thinking of getting her a little gift for when the baby is born, like a new stuffed animal that matches one for the baby, and a bracelet that says "big sis"? I feel like it's just one more thing to worry about, but any tips are welcome-- especially from the TTMs+ who have done this before! My daughter is pretty sensitive and also just started preschool, so I'm really trying to help make this experience as positive as possible for her.
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Re: Preparing older children for baby? (STM+)

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    shortstack930shortstack930 member
    When we had our second child I took my oldest out for a special mommy and me date the day before my c-section. Then once the baby was here we gave her little gift "from the baby" and had her bring the baby a little gift also. My parents also got her a little gift to make her feel special. 
    TTC History
    Me: 35 DH: 34
    Married 07/2012
    DD born 07/2014
    DD2 born 10/2018
    DS born 10/2022

    IF history:
    TTC #2 since January 2016
    June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
    Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
    Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
    Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
    Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
    Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
    FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
    FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22


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    kricronkricron member
    A little baby doll that she can dress, rock, and pretend to feed is a great gift. That way she can have her own baby to care for too while you are helping the little one. This worked well for my kiddos. They had sun naming their babies too. My son named his peanut butter and my daughter named hers Penny ❤️
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    KGETS86KGETS86 member
    We got baby dolls for them to help take care of while I was caring for the newborn. We’ll also get them all a gift from the baby, although they don’t really care who it’s from. It’s mostly just a positive that they can associate with the time the baby came home. 

    I’d let her school know as well. Our son’s teacher gave him a little extra attention after our youngest was born. 

    Once baby gets here, we try to allow them to be involved to the extent they want to be involved. We don’t force interaction or anything like that. Eventually they just naturally start to bond with the baby in their own way. It may not be instantaneous (my oldest HATED his sister for the first 2-3 months - but he was only 18 months old), but it’ll happen eventually. 
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